All-Star Criminals Hoodrat Heroes

Medford Pete, former North Shore Junkbox Jalopy Service And TB Frequent Flyer, Is Back In Business And You’ll Never Guess Who He Caught Up With

This is the perfect rainy day read; a trip back in Turtleboy nostalgia through the vast North Shore Ratchetsphere. Grab a nice hot cup of joe, throw a nip of Bailey’s in it, sit back and giggle with me.








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Holla atcha girl:





If you’re new to Turtleworld or were otherwise indisposed while the Revere Ratchet/Medford Pete saga was playing out back in April/May, you can catch up here:

Who is Medford Pete?


Why is Medford Pete so angry?


Medford Pete sets the record straight on TB Live


Now that that’s out of the way… you all didn’t think that The Grand Poobah of the junkie brigade would go away forever, did you? He’s up to (and with) his old tricks again, and seems to have acquired a few more along the way thanks to his Turtleboy exposure (you’re welcome, Petey!)


I don’t know what all of that was about, but it sounds very important.


Here’s the thing. if you take a gander through the old blogs, before Pervy Pete went into lockdown mode on the facebook machine, he has scrapbooks’ worth of photos of himself with significantly more attractive women – not that that is a hard metric given what we’re working with with Pete – who all happen to be higher than the International Space Station.


And every single chick featured therein is between the ages of 18 and 35. The 30-somethings look pretty rough, but then again, they’re aging in North Shore junkbox years, so it’s to be expected.

The setting is almost always the same place: the front seat of Pete’s Hyundai.


Thank GOD it’s not the backseat.

Anyway, in that giant wall of text, Pete is right about one thing: “The pictures of all my girls that I put up in the past are all trash.” Wiser words never spoken, my tubby friend.

The comments on his minor Facebook stroke were all I’d hoped they be, with guest appearances from some familiar faces

Michelle San Angelo is clearly Pete’s #1 Fan, and with good reason given his tar obtaining prowess.

She’s an otherwise lovely girl who is always bragging about her affinity for expensive submarine sandwiches, and having them delivered to her door


Juuuust kidding, those aren’t delicious Italian subs from the Big A in Malden, they’re suboxones. Junkie skittles, if you will.

Which is kinda funny, considering her brother met his untimely demise in a pedovan, needle in pocket and narcan at his side, parked in a stranger’s driveway down in FloriDUH

and Michelle had quite a lot to say on the matter

Guess feeding the junkboxes is her way of giving back in her brother’s honor? Who knows.

Anyway, Medford Pete has been on a tear lately, calling out ratchet vein-popping poonburgers from Malden to Hampton Beach. He posted a live video just this morning about a certain Methadone Mile Queen and her baby gravy spigot. Let’s take a look:


(Full disclosure, it’s 12 minutes of your life you’ll never get back)


Here’s a quick rundown: A well-known Syphilisaurus has been running up and down Methadone Mile in Boston with her bacon bazooka instigating fights and recording them. One such recent conquest by the dynamic duo, according to The Grand Poobah, was a one-legged, wheelchair-bound veteran whom they’re alleged to have beaten and robbed. Medford Pete says he has no problem smacking a bitch in this instance. He also calls for his junkie brigade to do the same should they see something like this in their travels on the Orange line to their daily clinic rendezvous. He’s not naming names, though.


Does this look like the face of a snitch? I think not.


Moving on… despite decrying the fact that he’s always “taken advantage of” by the lady junkasaurs, what with shoving cheeseburgers and other party favors down their gullets while he shuttles them to and fro, snapping pics to commemorate the occasions, look who he caught up with!

That would be Kristina Marie Elliott, the turkey baster baby mama of Dolores “Dee” Marino AKA Herpesaurus Hoodratchetous.

Quick note: I love that Pete’s mama is in the comments giving her baby boy a bit of a confidence boost! Just goes to show that a parent’s love is truly unconditional, if not a bit blind.


Kristina’s finally out of the clink and up to her old shenanigans, which makes for great reading material. Oh, and Dee is not the father, by the way. Kristina had the baby while locked up in South Bay early in 2017 and NSTB got a sneak peek. And while he’s beautiful and healthy (thank God) despite having his mother OD with him in utero among other things, he’s definitely not bore of Dee’s rotten crotch. Sorry, Dee!



So… clearly we have a lot more to catch up on here. Stay tuned for part 2 for a trip in the way-back machine with the lesbo cheesehogs of the Revere Ratchet Squad.













6 Comment(s)
  • Pops Zadania
    October 27, 2017 at 12:18 pm

    So Monday night, Medford Pete, “The Junkie Savior”, was at the Melrose Wakefield Hospital ER, with one of his regulars…I can only assume.
    The was a young man there that was trying to get into detox, had no money, as his GF had dropped him off hours before, and the hospital didn’t have a bed for him and could not get him in anywhere. So they were releasing him which had upset the young man to the point where he was being watch by security and pleading his case, rather loudly, for all to hear.
    Unfortunately for this young man, Medford Pete, only likes the junkie ladies. So he was shit out of luck.

    Medford Pete……..if you are strung out, and have a pussy, he will give you ride, and a fix(and start a Go Fund me if you OD) but if you got a dick……hit da brick!!!

    Hell of a guy I tell ya

  • Kim Wescott
    October 26, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    Boy, Meffa Pete sure told Turtlehead and Turtle-baby off in that podcast, didn’t he? I’m surprised either of you dared come out of your shell after that!

    All that and a box of Pringles.

    October 26, 2017 at 7:34 pm

    It’s great to see NSTB contributing consistently again. I aspire to be like Pete. But I have no job, no car and no home. I live in the shack at Memorial Beach in Webster. I have no mom to boost my ego, no ladies because my penis when hard is the size of an acorn. My titties are bigger than Steven Assanti but he has a much better personality than me. My flatulence is a constant trumpeting of sounds and smells that scare the ducks away from my shack but AT LEAST I HAVE CONFIDENCE

  • citypoint
    Stan the man
    October 26, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    Love the pic of the old school poo poo platter!
    Nothing says “do me,gorgeous” like Chinese food.

  • Johnny5
    October 26, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    Ha. I used to know one of the girls commenting on his page. She’s trash. I’m sure there is much more out there but this is the first one I saw.

    • Shannon
      October 27, 2017 at 1:54 pm

      I think it’s pretty shitty to bring someone’s dead brother into this. He has parents and possibly kids who could see this. Let the man Rest In Peace.

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