Hoodrat Heroes

Momma Foodstampopotamus From New Bedford Was Arrested Last Night And She Looks Like She Wants To Eat The Camera Guy Who Filmed Her Being Loaded In To The Police Van

No, this isn’t an April Fools joke! This is the face you make when you know that you’re going to be Turtleboy Famous for a fourth time.

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Seems that Elizabeth Quino, known around here as the momma Foodstampopotamus, had some shit go down in her house last night. They arrested her, and two others, in some kind of brouhaha at the same house where they became famous for their “free my boi” window protest.

Sadly, because it’s considered a domestic, the police won’t tell us what’s going on. If anyone knows, please message us, because I’m hearing all sorts of crazy rumors from a hostage situation to a sexual assault.

I would also like to mention how much I love the dudes over at the New Bedford Guide Because I really do. They actually used one of our terms in their news briefing. I wish all the mainstream media would look to them for inspiration.

Word is that the baby momma Foodstampopotamus, Amanda Pavao, was seen watching the whole thing from the window and didn’t make a peep this time.

We will let you know when we find out what happened.





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8 Comment(s)
  • September 2, 2017 at 6:23 pm

    Link exchange is nothing else except it is just placing the other person’s blog link on your
    page at appropriate place and other person will also do similar in favor of you.

  • Turd Burglestein
    April 1, 2017 at 8:25 pm

    I was sweating there for a moment. Thought it said busted a 70 year old man for fentanyl and crack cocaine distribution. Whew! It said 20 year old so I’m safe for now.

  • Chuck
    April 1, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    She’s got the welfare look cooking.

  • Noseface
    April 1, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    I hafta say, I probably would smash the blonde one with the glasses if the opportunity presented itself.

  • Tahco
    April 1, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    Think one of them should at least be pleasekillyurselfalus

  • FatFingr Lou
    April 1, 2017 at 4:36 pm

    I suggest a few additions to the bestiary:


  • Wabbitt
    April 1, 2017 at 3:26 pm

    I’m waiting for Percocetadactyl and Astrojizzacist to make the news. Those are the best Turtleisms ever devised.

    • April 1, 2017 at 3:34 pm

      Someone made a comment yesterday that had me in stitches. They said something along the lines of keeping so and so’s “burpworm out of a queefbox.”

      I lost my shit.

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