All-Star Criminals

Nashua Cooch Monkey Does Epic Perp Walk In Baby Gap Shirt After Her And Slug Life Crotch Rocket Crash Car And Try Hiding From Cops

Nashua Cooch Monkey Does Epic Perp Walk In Baby Gap Shirt After Her And Slug Life Crotch Rocket Crash Car And Try Hiding From Cops

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This is the most legendary New Hampshire perp walk of all time:

I see someone’s been shopping at Baby Gap…….

If you’re a Nashua crackmonster and you know you’re probably gonna be arrested that day then you might as well give the audience a show. This had to be an audition tape to get a job at the strip club of her choice……in Salisbury.

Here’s how this voluptuous cooch monkey ended up in cuffs in the first place:

Two people are facing charges after police said they tried to outrun officers after crashing off a highway. A state trooper was patrolling on foot Tuesday night at the Hooksett tolls and tried to flag down a car for an inspection sticker violation, police said. By the time police caught up to the car, it had crashed near the Interstate 89 on-ramp in Bow. 

Timiah Wilkins, 20, and Alan Fish, 21, were taken into custody after they ran from the car, police said. A K-9 unit was used to find Wilkins.

“It was a great team effort through our dispatch, the other responding troopers, the K-9 team, the Bow Police Department, Concord Police Department, as well as with the employees from Grappone and Pitco, who were instrumental in helping us quickly identify where the individuals fled to,” Trooper Derek Myrdek said.

Police said that Wilkins was driving the car and speeding, and she almost hit other cars before crashing. 

Officials said there’s a criminal bail order that forbids Wilkins and Fish from being together. They said Wilkins also has a suspended license and was wanted on a charge of drug possession.

The worst part of this is that I can’t find her Facebook page. But she’s gotta have one, and someone out there has to know what it is. It’s gotta be a gold mine of ratchet debauchery though. Please send it to us!!

Anyway, this is Alan Fish, the winner she was with:

And as you can see, Flat Brim Shady always keeps it 100 emoji!!

From the mean streets of Nashua yo!! There’s a 99% chance Alan Fish has plans of forming a rap group called NWWA – Nashua wiggers with attitude.

Oh, and he stay fly, even though adults on his Facebook page warn him that he’s going down the wrong path…..

And in the least surprising turn of events ever the n word is the most common word in his vocabulary:

Finna cash deez handz!!

Safe to say we’ve found the next king and queen of Hampton Beach.

 

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12 Comment(s)
  • wabbitt
    July 13, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    She looks a lift too much like my sister for my comfort…

  • Is Alan Fish even a guy?
    July 13, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    My God! He looks like a pathetic little weasel. Are you sure he’s a guy? He’s got little sticks for arms. Are these pictures from when he was about 10 years old?

    Is he transitioning? Maybe he wants to have a vagina?

  • Princeza Groupie
    July 13, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    She could make it in a Salisbury strip club, probably. Not in the top shelf gentleman clubs.

  • Wtf
    July 13, 2017 at 11:58 am

    In one picture he looks like Carl from shameless throwing the “2 in the pink , 1 in the stink ”
    As a gang sign. Lmao!

  • ALF from Melmac
    July 13, 2017 at 11:33 am

    I’d bet my FUBU pants and my Spreewell jersey that this ladyboy immediately turns the rap music down in the car if there’s a black guy at the same intersection.

  • Mom's Basement
    July 13, 2017 at 11:12 am

    He’ll be popular enough in jail as it is but it’s a damn good thing that the dude got his hair cut before the arrest

  • JoeMomma
    July 13, 2017 at 10:56 am

    I think I got an STD from just looking at her picture.

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    July 13, 2017 at 10:54 am

    She’s gross. I wouldn’t fucker her with a 10 foot pole.

    Allan FIsh’s parents should do us all a favor and euthanize him, and then turn the sword on themselves (Seppuku)

  • Stormhund429
    July 13, 2017 at 10:45 am

    Shave her head, have her put on 15 lbs, get a bunch of tattoos and a penis and then she’ll be perfect.

  • Noseface
    July 13, 2017 at 10:27 am

    Those tits though.

    • Slick Willie
      July 13, 2017 at 1:45 pm

      Great rack. Nice bod too. Must be a fun, hot little ride in the sack.

  • Troubled Nostrils
    July 13, 2017 at 10:05 am

    I could watch her perp walk all damn day!

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