Shaming Handicapped Parkers

Poo-Poo Head Parks In Hellen Keller-esque Style In Handicapped Spot At Providence Starbucks, Says It’s OK Because He’s Just Getting A Coffee


Some turtle riders say they’re sick of our blogs shaming people who park in handicapped spots. It you’re one of them, that’s OK. You don’t have to like everything we publish (I’ve burned so many bridges already by alluding to my thoughts on the President). But the fact of the matter is that tons of people see nothing wrong with this practice, so it’s our job to educate them, and everyone else. Take for instance this poo-poo head from the Wayland Square Starbucks in Providence:

Hellen Keller used to park trucks better than that. And the fact that he saw nothing wrong with this is exactly why we publish blogs like this. He thinks it’s OK because he said he was going to be quick. It’s not OK. Ever. If you’re in that much of a rush then leave your house five minutes earlier. Or just don’t get a coffee. Ninety percent of people are going to be in and out of a Starbucks, and they’d all prefer to park closer. Your situation is no different than any of their’s, so park your truck where it belongs and waddle yourself in to get your overpriced coffee with the rest of the Becky’s.

As you can see he’s got Massachusetts license plates, as this store is pretty close to Seekonk. Would love to know his name if someone wants to run the plates……35B 590.


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26 Comment(s)
  • I Heart Trump
    April 3, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Donald Trump is the beat president we’ve ever had.
    2020 for the 2nd term win

  • WeRFucked
    April 3, 2019 at 7:03 am

    That is all.

  • Jason
    April 2, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    The real mystery is where did this guy find an Under Armour hoodie in that size?

    • Holdens_Finest
      April 3, 2019 at 7:06 am

      UA is not always “Under Armor”
      In this case it stands for “Under Active”

    • Well, No Shit
      April 3, 2019 at 7:30 am

      That’s actually three large UA sweatshirts sewn together by his mom. She didn’t want him to feel left out, so she improvised.

      “Merry Christmas, Bubba! Momma “found” you the Under Armor sweatshirt that you wanted!”

  • Jim
    April 2, 2019 at 5:55 pm

    Obviously he is handicapped, he looks so fat he couldn’t wipe his butt on his own.

  • SSTG Pussy Grabber
    April 2, 2019 at 4:53 pm

    South Shore Turtle Girl wishes Trump would grab her by the pussy. Last time she’d been touched down there was by her Uncle Pervy at Thanksgiving.

    And yeah, fuck this guy for parking in a handicap spot.

  • Stewie Griffin
    April 2, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    “Uh. Look at you fat bastards. When was the last time any of you saw your penis?”
    “Find your penis for a dollar. Find your penis!”

    Y. I’m counting on you to get the video.

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    April 2, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    i’ll be selling tickets to the going away party for his left foot once diabetes is done with it. if anyone is interested

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    April 2, 2019 at 3:21 pm

    Oh Fatty McGee, you’re the fattest!!

  • Katherine Ann Schwartz
    April 2, 2019 at 2:59 pm

    For those of you complaining about Starbucks, guess what, we don’t want your type coming there anyways because you’re poor.

    • Drink Your Swill
      April 2, 2019 at 4:48 pm

      I roast my own. Drinking a very nice Ethiopian Guji Hambela Aleka Natural now, so go fuck yourself.

  • Willy
    April 2, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    Yeah, getting a coffee at Starbucks only takes a “one minute.” That’s Starbucks language for “20 minutes.” Seriously, they are the effing slowest.

    Go to Dunkin’ like normal people (who don’t hog handicap spaces BTW-and if he did got to Dunkin’ he’d have been on his way already before somebody noticed. )

    • Michael Hunt
      Mike Hunt
      April 2, 2019 at 4:03 pm

      Dunkin Donuts is trash water.

      • Dick Hertz
        April 2, 2019 at 7:29 pm

        DDs is trashwater.
        McDonald’s for the $1 win.

      • Alex
        April 2, 2019 at 7:48 pm

        Yeah right you can always go to Dunkin’ Donuts and get a foot and a half hair in your food that will put a smile on your face. And yes you’re right 90% of the handicap are fat,and on welfare and we have to pay for it

  • Fat Bastard
    April 2, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    Hasn’t seen his dick in decades and his wife considers him handica…err impotent.

  • Mr. Burns
    April 2, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    Company policy allows him to work at home due to obesity. He may have misunderstood how it affects his status outside of work.

  • Torah! Torah! Torah!
    April 2, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    Keep calling them out! These people are not only lazy, they suck

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    April 2, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    Tubby there could use a little walking

  • Corporal Creampie
    April 2, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    Mehh…he’ll be handicapped in a few years due to a heart attack or stroke anyway. He’s just getting a head start.

  • Benito Javier Caesar Chavez O’Hanrahan
    April 2, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    Como estas laddies and lasses. It’s me again! If asked to have another Guinness, I’d say “so senor!” Oh Danny hombre, the pipes the pipes are llamada! May la carettera rise to meet su! O’hanranhan and vulva 2020.

  • Big Wick
    April 2, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    What an oinkadillo. NOTHING is quick at Starfuck’s. A “quick coffee” can be had at your drive-thru Mickey D’s, DD, Timmy Ho’s, and the plain coffee is just as good. Definitely better on the wallet.

    • Kim Wescott
      April 2, 2019 at 2:27 pm


      Great pun!

      • Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Charbuck's
        April 2, 2019 at 2:41 pm

        Charbuck’s for those who enjoy coffee roasted to charcoal.

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