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Springfield Beefalope And The Ratchet Patrol Defend Gangsta Lickalotapus Friend Who Was Featured On Turtleboy

Springfield Beefalope And The Ratchet Patrol Defend Gangsta Lickalotapus Friend Who Was Featured On Turtleboy

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Yesterday we did a story about, Zaida Vega, a bottom rung ratchet from Springfield with a rap sheet the size of her dick.

Supporters of Lil’ Him couldn’t stay quiet and hide shamefully, instead they made possibly the dumbest, most ratchet thread I’ve ever seen. There’s not enough time in the day to read the whole thing, so I won’t post it in its entirety, but here are some highlights.

And of course, this faceless guy. Here we go again:

Hey, thanks for the extra views and sharing. We appreciate it.

Taking the cake (and probably eating it too), is Shellyann Toro, a rare species known as the Springfield Beefalope:

This particular species is endangered, but luckily for them they reproduce rather quickly. And you’ll never guess who her favorite basketball team is…..

What were the odds?

She’s also a fan of poetry, which is one it looks like Robert Frost gave her a frosting to remember all over her gerber servers:

She has so many tittoos they’ve grown their own tittoos.

I have to give it to her, being the jizz magnet that she is, she’s pretty creative.

This looks like it may be Zaida’s boo or something:

I woke up at 4 in the morning to get a drink of water and quickly signed on to Facebook – this titbasket was still at it with her fuckery. We must’ve really hit a nerve with that blog because she went full on racist for a few. I hope she doesn’t have an employer who has access to her very public Facebook page. But really, what are the chances of that?

There must be something in the sewer water in Springfield, because I can’t think of one reason to post this publicly on her own Facebook page plainly calling herself out for being a racist. But then again – she’s also a supporter of this chick:


She’s got one message for the rest of us and it’s loud and clear

… just kidding.

Sometimes these stories just write themselves.


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35 Comment(s)
  • Kerri Bishop
    October 15, 2017 at 4:29 am

    is that princenza (spelling??), the crazy Springfield stripper’s, sister? They look very similar!!

  • Ruby Tuesday
    October 14, 2017 at 7:45 pm

    You could do an article on her whole damn family. Right down to the Mom and youngest sister who is underaged and currently turning tricks and robbing johns and drug dealers on high st and state street.
    They are all complete trash and proud of it!

  • philly
    October 14, 2017 at 12:35 am

    she’s sexy as hell is pit it right in her ass… the dude is a wanksta ….id kick his ass and have him make me a ham sandwich

  • Skank Master
    October 13, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    The tits on that bitch! Whew boy, id like to reserve a few hours with that guttercunt. It’s also worth mentioning that guttercunt hasn’t looked in the mirror lately and noticed her light skin. Where in the fuck does she think that came from? White european blood.

    • philly
      October 14, 2017 at 12:37 am

      right?that bitch is train running material

      • Kristoaa@yahoo.com
        March 6, 2018 at 3:27 am

        Please you know this site is run by a troll who probaly beats off to to the girls photos he when posts somethin like this creature like this craeture cause his is ego is so far up his ass he describes humans as creatures and im gunna take this shit seriously. Deff sound like white racist troll must be trumps cousin

  • MyrtleTheTurtle
    October 13, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    Zaida Vega can redeem herself as being the town can opener.She can open tin cans through a chain link fence with those babies.

  • MyrtleTheTurtle
    October 13, 2017 at 5:44 pm

    Zaida Vega looks like a underdeveloped fetus with a with and dentures in.

    • MyrtleTheTurtle
      October 13, 2017 at 5:46 pm

      Zaida Vega looks like a underdeveloped fetus with a wig and dentures.

  • Gordon Yell
    October 13, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    I wasn’t going to comment on this…but they made it to easy,not to. There is so much to be ripped apart here. Shellyann Toro,are you kidding me????…Tell me you aren’t serious ,when you made the plea for us “white racists” to stop hatin on a girl, just because she has a gun charge. That in itself is absolutely laughable. I mean a big belly laugh. You make it sound like it’s a jaywalking charge..Holy Hell!…yea we’re not supposed to be to concerned with a girl toting around with a stolen gun in her vehicle…maybe in your city or your, “hood” it’s ok, but not in my reality. Second there was no broom handle involved in the raping of my grandma…nothing like that was used…period..What make me any better then this chick that makes all this money???…A LOT, and i do mean a lot makes me better tehn someone who gets busted for drugs and guns,where do you not see that?…LOL ..I could seriously go on for a couple of hours ripping her comments apart,but I have things to do…(like work)!…I wish all of you the best in your endeavors, because you are going to need it. There is soo much wrong going on here, it’s very sad.

  • Ben There
    October 13, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    These are the story-type that I do not read for fear of shrinking my already chemically challenged brain……I do enjoy the photos, however.

  • Barack Obama
    October 13, 2017 at 12:30 pm

    I am starting to rethink my success as President as these are the people that supported me and hate Trump.

    October 13, 2017 at 11:19 am


  • Local real local
    Local real local
    October 13, 2017 at 10:49 am

    The entire posting is dizzying, Lord sakes! I think the rapper is trying to be a man the beefalope is a man trying to be a girl. Who are these people? Ratchet is a step up, douchey tool is more appropriate.

    Gun carrying drug dealer without remorse. That is what society doesn’t need.

  • Haverhill Landlord
    Haverhill Landlord
    October 13, 2017 at 10:39 am

    I used Google Translate’s “Ratchet to English” function on Miss Toro’s posts, and these are the results:

    “I’m not very bright.”

  • Elle
    October 13, 2017 at 8:27 am

    Queen Ratchet embodies all that is ratchet-y in Springfield. Fuck this bitch. Karma will get her ass when her kids and friends kids start dying from overdoses. Then she’s gonna blame the “white man”. Springfield needs to be burned to the ground, including 99% of the people in it.

    • Hija De Dios
      October 13, 2017 at 2:35 pm

      I think this is the meanest thing I’ve ever read. I pray to god your family is blessed everyday and never faces drug issues. It’s the saddest thing in the world. Living in and growing up in Springfield, there’s never really been many willing to lead our young girls out of these streets and out of the “ratchet lifestyle” but always many many people men and woman willing to criticize and bash and even curse them. I’m sorry you feel this way about us Springfield people. I’m even more sorry about your karma when God decides what to do with you for your horrible way of expressing yourself. Especially towards the “99% of people” you may not even know… Very sad Elle, my heart hurts because of what you’ve said. Smh. Shame on anyone who finds the time to fight hate with hate…

      • DJ Trump
        October 14, 2017 at 6:45 am

        Kill yourself bitch

    • The 1%
      October 16, 2017 at 12:08 am

      Hi Elle im a Springfield citizen. I guess I must be the 1% you’re talking about. I don’t sell drugs or do drugs i fished my high school education now im currently trying to finish school for a future career . But if people followed your advice on burning it to the ground i guess that means I deserve to die too for choosing to live in Springfield? I also know others as well who dont live this “ratchet” lifestyle and also live in springfield. Maybe you should stop reading and watching the news because 99% seems pretty high dont you think? I would say maybe 10% but 99% are you really that stupid or you just suck at math?

  • Your name here
    October 13, 2017 at 8:24 am

    Animal planet really needs to on this and get a reality series about these creatures. Film like meerkat manor with the same narrator. It would be riveting.

    • Mark Berry
      Georgia Madman
      October 13, 2017 at 9:01 am

      Now that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen on Turtleboy. Props to you!

  • Not wearing a flat brimmed bulls hat
    October 13, 2017 at 8:23 am

    i like broomstick anal

  • Independent Thinker
    October 13, 2017 at 8:05 am

    Whatever happened to the mandatory one year sentence for having a firearm without an FID card? Start enforcing that law instead of passing new gun laws which only restrict law abiding citizens.

    Furthermore, if you commit a crime with a gun, there should be an automatic death sentence. That’s how you will stop gun violence.

  • Don
    October 13, 2017 at 7:58 am

    It all makes sense now. Sorry about my comment on the last blog, clearly I was overcone with racism.

  • DOC headshrinker
    October 13, 2017 at 6:44 am

    That thing has a strange obsession with incest. She may want to discuss that with a professional.

  • Bulldog
    October 13, 2017 at 6:16 am

    Zaida must be a snitch like someone else mentioned. There’s no way a person gets arrested for repeated drug distribution (especially for heroin) and gun charges and somehow is still free after 6 arrests in 2 years.

  • Bulldog
    October 13, 2017 at 6:11 am

    Nothing she said makes any sense. Who does she think she’s fooling? Oh, and Why did she say Zaida, oh sorry, Z-Money, could have bailed out? No she couldn’t, the judge automatically jailed Zaida for 90 days for violating bail in all the other cases. No one sits in jail for fun if they don’t have to. Does she really not understand how court and bail work? Oh wait, she must have some knowledge because I can bet she’s been arrested before with that attitude.

  • Melanie
    October 12, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    The fuck? Did this chick finish high school English? My head hurts from reading that shit. And she’s proud of what she wrote!? I’d be embarrassed. She’s talking out of her ass. Calling “white people” racist? Does she even know what racism is? If she did, she’d know she’s being a total hypocrite. She’s also proud she made it on Turtleboy. You shouldn’t be proud, honey. You make it on here if you’re the scummiest of the scummy.

    Bitch, get the fuck off your high horse. You aren’t shit. You’re worse. I’d rather have shit on the bottom of my Louboutin’s.

  • Poo
    October 12, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    What’s with the grandma broomstick anal rape?

    • Free Muh Gurl
      October 13, 2017 at 8:39 pm

      I love that she keeps mentioning it as if it were an actual event that transpired

  • MelD
    October 12, 2017 at 11:15 pm

    Funny. I just clicked on every advertisement on this post. #BOOM bitches. I hope they drown in “wanna be”, and stay the hell away from my kids.

  • John Barker
    October 12, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    Just aspire to be A “white duster quarter smelling racist ass mother fucker”..PLEASE!!

      October 13, 2017 at 3:51 am

      Hold up! I have read both posts thoroughly. The skinny dude with the teeth is a chic? Huh so is she one of those Transtesticals or? She was a dude that’s now a girl but it still has a dick or what? Is he/she in male prison or lady lockup? He/she is in paradise in lady lockup. There is more yeast in lady lockup than the Nissen factory. What percentage of He/she friends are on Govt assistance over and under is 95% I’m taking the over.

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