Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Round 2: Trap Queen Region

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Voting is completed for round 2 in the Cheesehog region of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness 2018. Here are the four ratchets who will be advancing:

South Shore Sausage Queen was the only real upset in this bracket. The 11 seeds are killing it thus far. Besides that Ashley Brady, Leigha Genduso, and the Claremont Lynch Mom are cruising into the Sweet 16, just as they were seeded.

Time to move onto the Trap Queen region:

As always we have provided you with relevant links to each ratchet as well as some of their ratchtacular highlights to that you can make an informed decision.


16. Dorchester Devil Child vs. 9. Chicopee DCF Grundle Queen

Dorchester Devil Child

  • Boston teenager who literally filmed herself microwaving a turtle
  • After becoming famous she took to Facebook and told people, “IT’S A FUCKING TURTLE, GET OVER IT”
  • Bought Mom a bottle of Hennessy for mother’s day
  • Mom claims she would “kill a mother fucker” for her daughter



Chicopee DCF Grundle Queen

  • On rare visitation with kids she got into a fender bender and pulled a knife on the other guy
  • Went back home, dropped kids off, came back to scene of crime to knife the guy and got arrested
  • Went on Facebook and bragged about pulling knife on dude
  • Sent herself letters she claimed were from Turtleboy, went on Facebook and posted video of herself opening threatening letters she sent herself and claimed were from Turtleboy
  • Sent Turtleboy graphic images of women giving felatio



5. Fall River Trap Queen Gladiators vs. 4. Springfield Lickalotapuss & Beefalope

Fall River Trap Queen Gladiators

  • Fought not once, not twice, but three separate times over incarcerated, dirty dick, mutual baby Daddy
  • Filmed themselves driving around Fall River on Facebook Live, calling each other out while on the hunt
  • Both bragged about visiting him more recently in prison
  • Both had recently given birth and had kids take by DCF
  • Wrote series of most ghettotastic Facebook posts back and forth calling each other out for being more ratchet
  • Bigger one claimed that thick girls have better pussy
  • Skinny one claimed that she tells baby daddy that this is his pussy during doggystyle
  • Went back and forth with each other on mother’s day, in which neither saw their childre




Springfield Lickalotapus and Beefalope

  • Most hoodific female drug dealer in history
  • Yelled “we run this town” after being arraigned on charges of drug dealing
  • Owns several flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats
  • Claims her tongue goes further than your schmenzer
  • Primary love interest with paw tittooes defends her relentlessly, threatening to scissor anyone’s wife who thinks drug dealing is bad




14. Woonsocket Juicehead Ex-Cop vs. 11. Maurice Butler and the Diesels

Woonsocket Juicehead Ex-Cop

  • Former Woonsocket cop, suspended for a series of major fuck ups before being fired
  • Started dealing drugs and become huge juicehead after cop life
  • Pulled over by former colleagues with drugs in car, refused to comply, ended up getting tazed after trying to fight them
  • Went to benefit for man who died from drug addiction, ended up fighting several men and was tossed out
  • Went home, posted racially charged threats over and over and over again, including messages towards the dead man’s family who she fought
  • Adapts her vernacular based on race of guys she’s currently banging


Maurice Butler Diesels

  • Told step-father or biracial child that the baby wasn’t his
  • Called the baby a “nigglet” and monkey
  • Told him “that n word ain’t his”
  • Asked mother if she would fornicate with him on top of sleeping baby daddy
  • Accused mother of “banging monkey at zoo”
  • Led failed campaign to take down Turtleboy’s Facebook page after being outed




2. Anna Storelli vs. 10. West Warwick Trash Princess

Anna Storelli

  • Freaked out on couple in restaurant waiting for food because they were holding hands in viral video
  • Accused them of having sex in front of her
  • Obsessed with Justin Bieber
  • Writes racially charged things about Selena Gomez due to jealousy over the Beebs
  • Makes bizarre amateur porn videos
  • Has dozens of restraining orders
  • Was normal at one point before spending 365 hours in experiment immersed in virtual reality simulator




West Warwick Trash Princess

  • Previously got into fight at Cranston carnival where she was collateral damage, went home, smeared blood on face, claimed she was assaulted by male, trashbag father led campaign to hunt down alleged assailant
  • Did a bunch of acid, posted it on snapchat
  • Set up other girl in marijuana deal
  • Threw objects at car driven by people she just ripped off on highway, leading to major car accident and near death of driver
  • Called out Coventry PD for lying about frequent OD’s
  • Frequent user of dog filters

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 9.20.57 PM



You have 24 hours to vote.

9 Comment(s)
  • Iron Boots
    April 14, 2018 at 7:44 pm

    White trash, niggers and spics need to be eradicated.

  • Tit Observer
    April 14, 2018 at 7:16 pm

    Who’s the chick with the paw prints on her tits?

  • Father Whyat Hurts
    April 14, 2018 at 4:13 pm

    Marsha Bish officially became a member of the Pincha Stool Vishnu church back in Jan 2018. We had two cups of Taipei Schiava Tea and two ssald plates to fall in love. Marsha’s salad was firm yet bold, mine, Father Whyat Hurts, fired up a few too many cranker rocks tthat day and my salad was flat and loose. Me good father ate Marsha’s salad and she fell in love almost immediately. Herr Marsha, the champ that she is, turned that salad plate into a soup bowl, and with pinkies up, drank the good father’s love offering right down to the last drip trail. Father Whyat fell in love with yet another honored and dedciated deciphel. Turtles unite, there is a way out of this maddening way of life, we have listed the recipe before, salad bowls, fingered sphincters, if need be, and a good appetite. Love is love, especially when two souls share stools. Marsha is in the running to be Queen Pincha Stool Vishnu. A win in the ratchet bowl may well look good on the resume.

  • GG
    G Sola
    April 14, 2018 at 1:54 pm

    Yea the polls are all mixed up and I can’t even find the one with the turtle killer devil child?? And the others are all in the wrong places?

  • Desk girls tampon
    April 14, 2018 at 1:37 pm

    The polls are all fucked up. Pain in the dick trying to vote. 

  • Uncle Randy
    April 14, 2018 at 1:28 pm

    Your polls are all fucked up.

    Why didn’t you check everything before you posted this? Low tier garbage. Clean your game up.

    Shit is embarrassing. I don’t come for Ratchet Madness to get some geocities horseshit website.

    Step it up.

    • 11
      April 14, 2018 at 2:07 pm

      Cry about it cunt

      • Ghetto as fuck
        April 14, 2018 at 6:27 pm

        What’s the fucking point of a contest if you can’t even vote correctly?

        Literally retarded.

  • NR
    April 14, 2018 at 1:24 pm

    The poll is missing for the last 2.

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