The Guy Who Got Shot By A 15 Year Old With A Sawed Off Shotgun In Webster Dunkin Donuts Parking Lot Is Everything You Dreamed He Would Be And More
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Meanwhile in Webster…….
Nothing to see here. Just a 15 year old shooting someone with a sawed off shotgun in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot in broad daylight. Pretty standard Wednesday afternoon in Webduh.
All the ratchets in town were buzzin about the news when this first happened:
Apparently when you live in Oxford you are allowed to be white and still use the n word, so long as you are discussing your friends who were involved in a shooting at the Webster Dunkin Donuts.
I remember this chick:
When you name your kid Jade Anderson, you might as well trade in her birth certificate for an application to
the Fuzzy Grape Mario’s Showplace.
Naturally the “victim,” Thomas Lareau, traveled through Dudley (AKA the ratchet expressway) to Webster’s ugly twin sister – Southbridge, where he kept it real and didn’t snitch. Does this look like the kind of guy who doesn’t keep it 100?
You don’t snitch and wear pants like that. Everyone knows that.
You’ll never guess who Tom Lareau’s favorite basketball team is……
A flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat? Never saw that one coming.
After someone on the Webster Police Facebook page speculated that Tom Lareau was shot in retaliation after robbing the 15 year old in a drug deal, he had to show up to defend his honor:
He NVR took shot from noone!! Get it right yo!!! Does this look like the face of someone who EVR took shot from somone?
Alright, I’m not gonna lie – if I saw that face I might shoot him too. The defendant is gonna have a pretty strong case at trial:
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is there anyone among you right now who looks at this man and doesn’t have the slightest urge to shoot him in the face?”
The defense rests.
Apparently it wasn’t just $300 he was robbed of. It was $300 worth of Jordan’s:
Because it doesn’t matter how poor you are, or what kind of shithole you live. When you’re a junior hoodrat, the only thing that matters is ALWAYS having the newest pair of Jordan’s. Healthcare? Wack. College fund? Gay. The only thing that matters is a fresh pair of Jordan’s.
And in one of the least surprising moves of all time, guess who he fornicated with in the last calendar year?
Yup, Kacey Crombie. The same Webster gutterslug who filmed her brother and another local ding-dong trying to fight the Webster Police in a bedroom and getting their asses kicked as a result.
The same chick who was interviewed on the garbage media outlet known as NECN, and told them that the Webster Police should be fired.
This guy’s chudstuffer was drawn to her penis fly trap like it had a ratchet magnet inside of it.
Oh, and if you recall from that incident with the Webster Police in October, Kacey’s friend Meaghan was the one that evaded capture from the cops:
Guess who she’s dating now?
Yup, Kacey’s brother!! Unfortunately for her Josh had to do a couple months in the Worcester County House of Corrections for assaulting a police officer. Luckily she had control of his Facebook while he was gone:
But unfortunately for Josh he found out she wasn’t loyal while he was doing his time:
Anyway, back to Tom Lareau. Apparently he didn’t like the fact that he would inevitably end up in a Turtleboy blog as a result of his antics:
Keep keepin it 100 dog!! Don’t worry, the taxpayers will take care of your medical bills, and then you can get right back to beefin with 15 year olds with sawed off shotguns in the Webster Dunkin Donuts parking lot.
P.S. Need this shirt:
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