The Guy Who Got Shot By A 15 Year Old With A Sawed Off Shotgun In Webster Dunkin Donuts Parking Lot Is Everything You Dreamed He Would Be And More
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.
Meanwhile in Webster…….
Nothing to see here. Just a 15 year old shooting someone with a sawed off shotgun in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot in broad daylight. Pretty standard Wednesday afternoon in Webduh.
All the ratchets in town were buzzin about the news when this first happened:
Apparently when you live in Oxford you are allowed to be white and still use the n word, so long as you are discussing your friends who were involved in a shooting at the Webster Dunkin Donuts.
I remember this chick:
When you name your kid Jade Anderson, you might as well trade in her birth certificate for an application to the Fuzzy Grape Mario’s Showplace.
Naturally the “victim,” Thomas Lareau, traveled through Dudley (AKA the ratchet expressway) to Webster’s ugly twin sister – Southbridge, where he kept it real and didn’t snitch. Does this look like the kind of guy who doesn’t keep it 100?
You don’t snitch and wear pants like that. Everyone knows that.
You’ll never guess who Tom Lareau’s favorite basketball team is……
A flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat? Never saw that one coming.
After someone on the Webster Police Facebook page speculated that Tom Lareau was shot in retaliation after robbing the 15 year old in a drug deal, he had to show up to defend his honor:
He NVR took shot from noone!! Get it right yo!!! Does this look like the face of someone who EVR took shot from somone?
Alright, I’m not gonna lie – if I saw that face I might shoot him too. The defendant is gonna have a pretty strong case at trial:
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is there anyone among you right now who looks at this man and doesn’t have the slightest urge to shoot him in the face?”
The defense rests.
Apparently it wasn’t just $300 he was robbed of. It was $300 worth of Jordan’s:
Because it doesn’t matter how poor you are, or what kind of shithole you live. When you’re a junior hoodrat, the only thing that matters is ALWAYS having the newest pair of Jordan’s. Healthcare? Wack. College fund? Gay. The only thing that matters is a fresh pair of Jordan’s.
And in one of the least surprising moves of all time, guess who he fornicated with in the last calendar year?
Yup, Kacey Crombie. The same Webster gutterslug who filmed her brother and another local ding-dong trying to fight the Webster Police in a bedroom and getting their asses kicked as a result.
The same chick who was interviewed on the garbage media outlet known as NECN, and told them that the Webster Police should be fired.
This guy’s chudstuffer was drawn to her penis fly trap like it had a ratchet magnet inside of it.
Oh, and if you recall from that incident with the Webster Police in October, Kacey’s friend Meaghan was the one that evaded capture from the cops:
Guess who she’s dating now?
Yup, Kacey’s brother!! Unfortunately for her Josh had to do a couple months in the Worcester County House of Corrections for assaulting a police officer. Luckily she had control of his Facebook while he was gone:
But unfortunately for Josh he found out she wasn’t loyal while he was doing his time:
Anyway, back to Tom Lareau. Apparently he didn’t like the fact that he would inevitably end up in a Turtleboy blog as a result of his antics:
Keep keepin it 100 dog!! Don’t worry, the taxpayers will take care of your medical bills, and then you can get right back to beefin with 15 year olds with sawed off shotguns in the Webster Dunkin Donuts parking lot.
P.S. Need this shirt:
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.
29 Comment(s)
Do these fuckin maggots actually reproduce??? Living proof that the Indians fucked buffaloes……….
Turtle boy shitting on the kid who was shot? I thought he couldn’t get any lower. lol.
in the best world, both parties would have been shot
So… Josh Crombie was in lock up on March 1? Because on March 11 him and one of his buddies tried to jump some kid in the lobby of McDonald’s. Both he and Kasey were drunk (at 1 in the afternoon), and when the manager and maintenance guy jumped in to stop the right, Josh shoved the maintenance guy into a wall before getting in the manager’s face and screaming, “What the fuck you gonna do you bald ass nigga??”
The entire crew then ran outside and jumped in a car, with Kasey as the drunken getaway driver.
Yeah, and….?
Nothing screams small town wanksta like terrorizing the local Mickey D’s
Like biting the hand that literally feeds you
You guys are great i always have my eyes posted for any scammers or worthless trash trying to live the ratchet life
These guys make a weekend in the canal district feel like the upper west side!
These retarded white kids using the N word is so lame, I wish MLK would come back and slap them all in the face and they can all go back to saying “dude” like when I was a kid.
Jesus, I live on the Lake and will be staying east of exit 2 from now on. Thank God for honey dew.
Their are def two separate Websters.
You normal bastards should secede asap
No fucking way. Without the tax money from the rich people living by the lake, the rest of the town would descend into anarchy. And I can’t afford to move.
The rest of the town has been slowly descending into chaos as the old Polacks ha e been dying off.
Sorry friend, but their needs to be an East Webster.
I realize I’ve used the word “their/there” incorrectly in these comments twice now and feel shame
Attention all hoodrats, when you are battling your peers for ghetto supremacy, shoot to kill and do us all a favor. One shitstain dies, one goes to prison, kinda like a BOGO sale.
Good one!!! Lmao
Wood!
I hate when people use the $ after the amount of money they “was gettin jacked for, yo.” It’s $300, not 300$. Ugh. Between that and the hats, this n-word deserved a cap in his ass.
Just hate that word.
And the hoodrat lifestyle claims more victims. Never be productive . . . EVER . . . . their lives are over already
It’s funny, they don’t even realize how goofy they look in those hats. Some people just choose to have a crappy bitter existence. Sad really
I wonder how fuzzy their grapes are?
Grapes??? More like raisins.
Everything is Webster is related. It’s like 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, only with all Webster ratchets.
It’s true. Every dirtbag knows each other, and they’re all known by the police.
Webster cops have the funniest fucking stories
I didn’t know at the time, I had no idea this would happen in the future.
God hoodrats are the worst. Can’t call them losers because it gives losers a bad name.