Hoodrat Heroes

The Natick Dumpsterslug Got Knocked Up By Rambo Rawdog Even Though 3 Of Her Crotch Fruits Are In DCF Care And She’s Made No Attempt To Get Them Back 


Who remembers this saltwater sea cow?

Her name is Katherine Lanagan, AKA Katherine Jeffs, but better known to turtle riders as the Natick Dumpsterslug. Her ratchet resume includes selling food stamps on Facebook for drug money because DCF done stole her crotch fruits, messaging turtle riders with racial slurs for calling her out on her bullshit, unironically calling out other ratchets for not maintaining employment, and spending taxpayer money to get her meat wallet pierced.

Screen Shot 2017-02-12 at 11.18.48 PM

She’s one of less than a handful of ratchets to appear in more than one Ratchet Madness tournament, and she’s back for more today with some TERRIBLE news.

Three words:




She’s evidently dumped this winner:

Screen Shot 2017-02-12 at 11.34.58 PM

Which is a Goddamn tragedy because he was really stable and seemed like he was about to turning his life around and open up his own barbershop any day now.

Screen Shot 2017-02-12 at 11.28.04 PM

But now she’s getting taken to tuna town by the new chudstuffer.

Imagine your cervix scraper was so dry, and so desperately in need of lubrication that you were willing to go spelunking inside the Natick Dumpsterslug? Ouch.

He seems really stable too. Never gets in trouble with the law or anything like that.

Ever. I’m sure he’ll be a great Dad, and all of their family photos will NOT be taken in the DCF visitor’s room.

Sure, she could try to get her shit together and get her poon polyps back from the state, or she could just take the pipe from Rawdog Rambo and fire another ward of the state out of her baby cannon. Whatever she thinks is best.

I’m not kidding either – if this isn’t the perfect case for mandatory sterilization then I don’t know what is. I don’t want the government to overuse it, I just want it to be for extreme cases like this. If you have more than 1 crotch fruit in DCF care then you have to get neutered by Uncle Sam because you clearly cannot be trusted due to your revulsion for latex and personal responsibility.








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29 Comment(s)
  • Cat C
    October 22, 2019 at 5:58 pm

    Her mother runs CJ Clayworks in Natick. You can message her on fb. her daughter has to stop this behavior. facebook.com/CJClayworks/

  • Rico
    October 22, 2019 at 3:03 pm

    She says she’d getting rid of the nose ring
    She says it’s a little uncomfortable when guys are fucking her left nostril

  • Well, No Shit
    October 22, 2019 at 8:04 am

    A facial tattoo is clear statement that you have given up on ever being a productive member of society.

    The absolute best course of action for this creature would be euthanasia.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    October 22, 2019 at 3:45 am

    Limerick of the day….

    The filthy old whore from Natick
    Got knocked up by her new piece of dick,
    The question is how
    Could you mate with this cow
    Without rushing outside to be sick?

    Dick Scratcher, aged 37 and shrinking fast (not in age).

    • Elijah's final fart
      October 22, 2019 at 6:13 am

      you roll her in flour and aim for the wet spot

  • Seed bag
    October 21, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    Good God. She’s completely nasty in every way. She makes my eyes hurt looking at her

  • Lena leans on weener
    October 21, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    Sloppy journalism, that is Lena Fucking Dunham bitches!

  • Stiff pete
    October 21, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    she should have pierced that thing shut! and anyone else think they look like brother and sister?

    • JJ@AOL.COM
      October 21, 2019 at 8:16 pm

      Shoot, you beat me. I saw the picture of her and the new deadbeat and instantly thought they look like brother and sister!… What do you think did it for him? I think it was definitely the eyebrow tattoo. Red hahahaha what a joke. What a dirty skunt!

  • Last Exit to Brooklyn
    October 21, 2019 at 7:10 pm

    Terribly unfortunate future likely to be faced by her offspring. But her story is not unique. The odd thing is that she would publicize it. But given her impaired judgment, like that of the millions like her and her boyfriends in every generation, we shouldn’t be surprised.

    Hope springs eternal. Maybe she’ll win the lottery or simply come to her senses. Her sisters seem nice. If so, hopefully she may take some advice from them and change course for the better.

  • Mr. Wood
    October 21, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    Mr. Wood says…HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!! Now I need to throw-up.

  • Disgusting
    October 21, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    Ewww…how the fuck does a dude get wood with a fucking beast like that????

    • Ray Patriarca
      Bleach my eyes, please
      October 21, 2019 at 11:25 pm

      Probably because she is marginally better looking than the guys he was fucking in jail?
      Just a thought….

    October 21, 2019 at 5:31 pm

    Her 2 sisters look like sexy fatties after about 5 jack daniels

  • Real_Finn
    October 21, 2019 at 4:55 pm

    She-Cow : “I got my pussy pierced!”
    Random : “Did it hurt?”
    She-Cow : “No. I have absolutely no feeling down there! Too much dick will do that to a girl. And wiffle-ball bat. Definitely a wiffle-ball bat.”

    Get Fucked,

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      October 22, 2019 at 3:41 am

      In this case, she had already taken your advice and “got fucked”.


  • bigdaddy
    October 21, 2019 at 4:39 pm

    some one actually put their penis in her on purpose ?

    • eugene
      October 21, 2019 at 4:47 pm

      I thought her photo was what they show you when you have a four hour erection that won’t go away.

  • Crispy C
    October 21, 2019 at 4:30 pm

    Pray for a miscarriage.

  • Queequeg
    October 21, 2019 at 4:29 pm

    Aye, they pulled me out of retirement for I was the only one with the strength and agility needed to pierce that pussy.

    White whale indeed!

  • Corinth Arkadin
    October 21, 2019 at 4:17 pm

    Oh my gawd

    I would never post a selfie If I looked half that bad, I mean what the fuck? Have they no sense of shame or even fuckin’ reality?


  • Metro West Guy
    October 21, 2019 at 4:15 pm

    Now that’s the Natick I used to remember, before it became Wellesley Lite.

    • Corinth Arkadin
      October 21, 2019 at 7:32 pm


      • Corinth Arkadin
        October 22, 2019 at 4:25 pm

        Wait, no one got the Natick joke?

  • I Bet Her Cunt STINKS!
    October 21, 2019 at 4:14 pm


  • Thar She Blows!
    October 21, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    I’d bet that banging this broad is like putting a Tic Tac in a submarine.


  • Rico
    October 21, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    I’ll bet any money this broad has been boned by a few apes in her time

    • Samuel Adams Esq
      October 21, 2019 at 3:40 pm

      Rico, I concur my friend

    • What a Disgrace
      October 21, 2019 at 4:15 pm

      Oh I can guarentee Tyrone was the one who convinced her it would be cool to tattoo “Red” on her face

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