Bone Ride

Top 20 Best To Worst Plowed Towns In Worcester County, Part 2

Top 20 Best To Worst Plowed Towns In Worcester County, Part 2

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We do a lot of complaining at Turtleboy Sports, particularly when it comes to the craptacular job that the City of Worcester does plowing, sanding, and treating the roads. But is Worcester really that bad, or are we just being dramatic? To find out we had to conduct a scientific study by doing a tour de turtle done ride through 20 different towns and cities in Worcester County, taking pictures and documenting how each town and/or city did clearing their roads for drivers. Obviously we can’t get to every town in one bone ride, so we have to divide it up into a northern/western bone ride (which we did yesterday) and an eastern/southern bone ride (which we’re gonna do the next time God buries us in white shit) . We apologize in advance if we can’t document your town, and on this ride we just missed getting to places like Templeton, Lunenburg, Ashburnham, Winchendon, New Braintree, and West Brookfield.

Last month we did a bone ride through 20 different towns and cities in Worcester County (mostly northern and western WC) to see which towns are best and worst at plowing their roads. North Brookfield, Worcester, Spencer, Hubbardston, and Leominster were particularly craptacular, while places like Westminster, Brookfield, and West Boylston were spick and span. We wanted to do another bone ride to the east and the south to see if anything compared the vast kingdom of North Brookfield. So we hit up the following 20 places and ranked em 1-20:

Lancaster, Clinton, Boylston, Shrewsbury, Northboro, Westboro, Hopkinton, Upton, Grafton, Northbridge, Uxbridge, Douglas, Webster, Sutton, Millbury, Charlton, Sturbridge, Southbridge, Dudley, Oxford.

We apologize if we just missed hitting your town, but obviously we had to cut it off somewhere. Sorry to turtle riders in Lunenburg, Shirley, Ayer, Bolton, Berlin, Hudson, Marlboro, Southboro, Mendon, Blackstone, and Millville. We’ll get you next time. And yes we do realize that Hopkinton is not in Worcester County. We just have a sizable audience in that particular town because we tend to send a lot  turtle gear that way. Let’s say how they looked…..

 

1. Southbridge

We shit on Southbridge all the time because we call it like we see it. But the fact of the matter is they do a great job with their roads. Which is a good thing, because the thought of being snowed in and stuck in Southbridge is absolutely terrifying. The funniest part is that when you look at the rest of the pictures in this blog it’s mostly blue skies and sunshine. But since Southbridge is the Charlie Brown of Central Mass, clouds literally never leave there.

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2. Westboro

Like Westboro isn’t gonna take care of its roads. This is what it looks like when your property taxes actually pay for things that benefit taxpayers.

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3. Hopkinton

I like my roads slush free. But a little here and there isn’t the worst thing so long as there’s some asphalt for me to get some grab onto. I wanna see that asphalt baby!! Show me that asphalt!! And let me tell ya, Hopkinton isn’t shy about flaunting it!! Dat asphalt!!

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4. Oxford

Oxford always does a bang up job with their roads.

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Which people in Dudley probably really appreciate because it’s how they get to the highway. Here’s Dudley-Oxford road in Oxford:

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And here’s that same exact road a quarter mile of away in Dudley:

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Nuff said.

 

 

5. Northboro

A couple years ago when we did two of these tours Northboro was ranked #1. It’s still pretty good, and better than most of the towns west of Worcester, which are plowed like third world countries. Just stiffer competition to the east.

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6. Upton

Y’all gon make me plow this snow, Upton here, Upton here!

Terrible, I know.

But the roads are pretty good in Upton. Some random patches of slushy crapy here and there, but for the most part it’s smooth sailing.

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7. Uxbridge

A couple years ago when we did this we had Uxbridge ranked a lot lower and we got a lot of butthurt Uxbridge blowback about it because they said it was windy that day. Definitely better this time around. There were some streets that could’ve used a little run through just to pick up the scraps, but as long as your car doesn’t feel like it’s invading Belgium in 1944 it’s good enough to get the job done.

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8. Millbury

There were some parts of Millbury that were really shitty.

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Some that were OK

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And others you could eat a meal off of.

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Altogether they do a pretty good job in Millbury.

 

9. Shrewsbury

I guess I expected Shrewsbury to be higher on the list. I mean, it’s better than Worcester, but what isn’t? The brand name “Shrewsbury” just carries a certain weight to it so you expect to it be top 3 in everything. I understand that less trafficked side roads are gonna have more crud, but how does 140 still have all this shit on it?

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10. Webster

Tale of two towns in Webster. Some roads were pristine:

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Others were so Webster it hurts.

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11. Douglas

When we did this a few years ago Douglas was the best and it wasn’t even close. We were so looking forward to the smooth drive through this sleepy little town yesterday. And a lot of parts lived up to the billing.

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But at the same time a lot of the roads were just very un-Douglas-like.

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12. Lancaster

I mean, you can see some asphalt in Lancaster. But it’s not enough asphalt to really grab onto and go for a ride.

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And some roads are more modest and keep their asphalt hidden at all times.

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13. Northbridge

Northbridge was weird because the side streets actually look pretty decent.

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But the main roads? Not so much. I blame Celia.

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14. Grafton

When I think of Grafton I think of nice things. It’s one of Turtleboy’s favorite towns. And periodically it lived up to its billing.

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But roads like that were few and far between. And many of them looked like Frosty the Snowman took a shit and forgot to flush.

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15. Boylston

Route 70 and 140 are alright in Boylston, but those don’t count because they’re state roads. Everything else in Boylston, which is also one of Turtleboy’s favorite towns, looks like a Swedish baby’s diaper.

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16. Sutton

Just like with Grafton you’d occasionally see roads like this:

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But if General Patton invaded Sutton and came across most of this town, he’d say, “fuck it, let’s just go around them this time.”

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17. Sturbridge

Another town that Turtleboy holds in high regard. But apparently they used equipment from Old Sturbridge Village to clear their roads this time around.

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18. Charlton

The last 3 are in a category of debauchery on their own. Although I kind of like it that way. If every town was smooth sailing it wouldn’t be very fun and it would be a pretty boring blog. I wouldn’t wanna have to commute through this slip n’ slide every time it snows, but i makes the bone rides way more exciting. I feel like I’m in a video game when Im driving in Charlton. It’s like riding on the roller coaster at Whalom Park. You know there’s no regulation and there’s a good chance you’ll die, but YOLO.

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19. Dudley

I thought Dudley would be dead last, because anyone who’s ever been to Dudley knows that the official policy of the Dudley DPW is “fuck it.” But believe it or not there is one place that is worse than this:

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And that place would be………

 

20. Clinton

I mean…..what the hell is this?

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This is Main Street!! Clinton is the smallest town landwise that we went through!! It’s got the least amount of square miles to cover. And at no point did we come close to seeing any asphalt on this entire magical journey. We got this guy spinning on everywhere:

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We got cars all over the road because they have no idea where the double yellow lines are:

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Traffic barely moves because people insist on driving cars that suck in the snow.

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So yea, if you were looking for another reason to avoid Clinton, this is it.

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It could be worse. You could live in North Brookfield. But at least in North Brookfield they don’t pretend to care.

How are the roads in your town? Anyone out there living in a town we did not get to think their roads are worse than Clinton?

 

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19 Comment(s)
  • KM
    April 7, 2017 at 10:07 pm

    This is funny to read. I plow for a town neighboring Lancaster. To go north to south thru Worcester county rating roads is pointless. The roads go from sh*t to pave in a matter of an hour with salt and sunlight. Plus if it’s Monday-fri they break down faster than a Sunday or sat with no traffic. You can’t compare. Plus we live in farm country and it’s winter, slow down snow is slippery. Massachusetts uses a ridiculous amount of salt compared to any other New England state including all north of us. Look it up. And learn to drive in the snow stop wasting our money and time

  • Grizzly Adams
    March 18, 2017 at 7:50 am

    Not to defend Charlton, but they probably have more miles of roads to plow than any of the other towns on this list. Having said that, they did do a crappy job this time. And you must of hit Southbridge on a good day. Typically their roads are horrible after a storm.

  • Stephanie DeMartino
    March 17, 2017 at 12:46 pm

    Christ Turtleboy!! We’re not fricken Seattle! We do get Sunshine in Southbridge. It’s just hard to see the Sun because of all of the Pollution emitting from the Landfill. Thanks for FINALLY making us #1!

  • March 16, 2017 at 11:55 pm

    Every one thinks it’s easy. Just like Sunday afternoon armchair quarterbacks with a 12 pack of Keystone in them,

  • shaughn
    March 16, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    clinton lol, love it

  • John
    March 16, 2017 at 7:57 pm

    Southbridge got number 1 because they can’t handle the amount of slip ànd fall law suits they would get if they sucked at plowing and sanding roads and sidewalks​ lol and car accidents being blamed on the roads the already have a high population of people that drive lowered Honda accords civics lol

  • FatFingr Lou
    March 16, 2017 at 7:57 pm

    Shrewsbury stopped plowing since everyone has a Range Rover or an Escalade bigger than the DPW plows.

    The 140 and 70 area will soon be a gigantic FEDEX depot..plowing snow will be the least of the problems for nearby residents.

  • Dumfq
    March 16, 2017 at 6:06 pm

    The sixth pic of webta is actually oxford ave in Dudley. Not that it should change dudleys shithole ranking. Just saying

  • Eric
    March 16, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    U guys clearly missed sterling , the town neighboring Clinton .. I live in sterling but right near Clinton and there was a huge difference between sterling and Clinton. Sterling always will and always should get the worst plow job .. u guys thought Clinton was bad , how could it get worse? Go through sterling and u will find out. They both absolutely suck regardless but sterling takes the cake.

    • March 16, 2017 at 2:16 pm

      No, we did not “clearly” miss anything. As you would know if you read, we got Sterling on the last bone ride. We even linked it and put it in bold so that dumb people could find it easily. “Clearly” you failed this test. Sterling isn’t even remotely close to being as bad as Clinton was yesterday.

      • Malaparte
        March 16, 2017 at 5:29 pm

        Sterling was awful this morning. Route 12 was good, but away from town center the roads were crusty and slushy as fuck. Total shitshow.

      • Big dick
        March 16, 2017 at 6:44 pm

        You clearly don’t understand the totals dynamics of this entire situation!!!!! You only do this for ratings! Any understanding of the fact good people care. Or used to eludes you and all for your almighty dollar. Yeah I guess you would kill for it as well useless fuck!!!!!

  • Donna
    March 16, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    I drove the back roads from Sterling to Northboro, and comment on my Facebook page that Morning , how bad Clinton roads were. I am glad someone else agreed!

  • Brian's Microscopic Dingle
    March 16, 2017 at 11:24 am

    Brian Albrecht’s mom has been plowed way more than any of these streets.

    • Brian Albrecht
      March 16, 2017 at 11:36 am

      Bitch, MY ASS has been plowed more than my mom’s snatch! And speaking of nasty ass, thats where I been for the past week. That old fucker Turd set a trap and I been in his basement for a week. Weird old dude been making me put ointment on his anal fissures the whole time. UGH! DISGUSTING!! I think the only thing that old prick eats is lima bean and prune quiche! I escaped though so fuck you Turd! Ima gonna fuck you up when I see you again!!! FUCK WITH ME!!!

      • Brian Albrecht
        March 16, 2017 at 11:43 am

        I didn’t write that! Pussy ass cunt fuck shot monger. I’ll box you up and deliver parts of you to each of your family members. And fuck every dude in your zip code. Cunt shit pussy. FUCK WITH ME. My mother is a saint. The patron saint of vaginosis discharge. Whats your address?

  • Nancy
    March 16, 2017 at 10:51 am

    Worcester should be on the list EVERY TIME – they are THE WORST – have you seen some of the side streets? Looks like they were never plowed. Park Avenue – major thoroughfare right? Wrong – barely 2 lanes at several points between Webster Sq. and Pleasant Street. Made the mistake of trying to go up Elm Street to West Street to cut over to Pleasant Street due to traffice being backed up to Park Avenue and went to make the right onto West Street – 1 LANE NOT PLOWED at all. They used the excuse they forecasted dry light snow, WAH WAH WAH – enough with the excuses – man up! You guys do a lousy job everytime….

    • Jimmy
      March 16, 2017 at 4:52 pm

      I agree with this. How can you do Worcester county and not include Worcester? The roads are horrible. I think they sent a plow down each road once in the middle of the storm…. That’s it

      • Sean
        March 18, 2017 at 8:01 am

        What makes Worcester roads bad are all the retarded who snowblow everything into the road. And the people who don’t park accordingly and who just shovel their car out Enough to get out and not around the whole car.

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