Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Round 2: Cheesehog Region

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The voting in the Fupasloth Region for round 2 has been completed. Three of the four matchups were not decided until this morning as they were too close to call last night. Here’s the four ratchets who have advanced to the Sweet 16 of Ratchet Madness….

We have no ratchets Kathleen!! Honestly, I didn’t think the Beaver Bumper would get by the Pawtucket Xany Bunny, but here she is in the Sweet 16. Unfortunately for her she can’t read Turtleboy in jail, and there’s no bail for murderers. The Spunktrumpet was another one I thought had Final 4 potential, but I guess we underestimated Aaron Hernadez soulless prison cuddle buddy. The Yogapoon vs. Methwaffle was a real tossup too, but ultimately the higher seed won. Alli Bibaud has been straight dominating though. She’s the only one left in this region who’s gone unchallenged. That should change next round.

Time to vote for who should advance in the Cheesehog region. As usual we will provide you with relevant links to blogs featuring each ratchet as well as the ratchet highlights for each contestant.

1. Leigha Genduso vs. 9. Brockton Psycho Hosebeast

Leigha Genduso

  • Has tendency to bang older bald men who can get her nice things
  • Sold large amounts of pot wrapped in Christmas paper
  • Hid $275K worth of drug money from the feds by giving it to a lawyer who has been accused of rape by four women
  • Insists she got her job based on merit, told us to “get your facts straight”
  • Straightened facts revealed that she was given the chance to receive immunity by testifying in front of a grand jury and perjured herself anyway
  • Admitted to being pill popping pothead on the stand
  • Still became a state police dispatcher where she shared confidential emails with random people on the Internet
  • On Facebook she made fun of people who she thought were not qualified to be corrections officers
  • Thinks she’s going to get her job back after being checked into a loony bin when we exposed her

 

 

Brockton Psycho Hosebeast

  • Takes pictures of children around Brockton, posts them on Facebook and claims they’re in danger of being raped
  • Believes she is doing a public good by preventing the children from being sold into sex slavery by their parents
  • Takes pictures of her poo and other bowel movements and posts them on Facebook
  • Posts pictures of her bloody pads on fire on Facebook
  • DTA card in background of many of these pictures

 

 

 

5. Lingerie Party Mom vs. 4. Claremont Lynch Mom

Lingerie Party Mom

  • Buys underage daughters and friends booze
  • Rents hotel room for girls only party where they all get drunk on Svedka
  • Grown ass woman who uses 100 emojis
  • Threatens to stab 15 year old daughter’s rivals on Facebook
  • Has been arrested a billion times
  • Pounds tequila outside of section 8 ratchet den with latest who’s burying the broomstick inside her La Colora

 

Claremont Lynch Mom

  • Post about white son being lynched went viral, even though he was just fucking around with idiot friends in the backyard
  • Realized that if she highlighted his 1/8 blackness that she could get a nice GoFundMe going
  • GoFundMe raised over $50,000
  • Fed into nationwide narrative that hate crimes are on the rise
  • Pretends to be loving and caring mother, but really gave up custody of her kid so she could rip butts and pound wine
  • Gave interview about the dangers of diversity, not knowing that diversity is a good word
  • Forced son onto bootleg version of The View where he was clearly emotionally damaged from all the shit Mom is putting him through
  • Got knocked up by rapper named Gho$t, who quickly ghosted on her shortly thereafter
  • Ended up moving in with new chudstuffer with tons of violent Google trophies who she brings around her four children

 

 

 

 

3. Quincy Elderly Robbing Junkboxes vs. 11. South Shore Sausage Queen

Quincy Elderly Robbing Junkboxes

  • Have the “disease”
  • Rob and assault 93 year old women because they’re too weak and stupid to rob anyone who can fight back
  • She goes back to the scene of the crime to pretend to be a good samaritan to the woman she just helped rob
  • Frequently posts about being clean for 24 hours
  • Posts pictures of other people at rehab on her IG
  • Abandoned four children because heroin is way more fun

 

South Shore Sausage Queen

  • Already Turtleboy famous from last year’s Patriots parade fight and history of racially charged Facebook posts
  • Does amateur porn where she kicks guys in the balls and then gives them footjobs
  • Tried to get revenge on one of countless enemies by messaging from her account, pretending to be her mother, and claiming to have just found her own dead body
  • Messaged back and forth for over an hour, while all the while claiming to be her mother lying over the corpse of her daughter
  • Claimed she had not called the cops yet because she had to research through her daughter’s (her) Facebook page for clues about who to sue
  • Forgot she was speaking in her Mom’s voice and called the girl she was messaging a “cunt chink” falsely assuming she was Asian
  • Posted on her Facebook page, pretending to be her Mom, telling the world that she was dead and how much Mom would miss her

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10. Braintree Parents vs. 2. Ashley Brady

Braintree Parents

  • Daughters were all contributing members of State finalist basketball team
  • Played for best coach in the state who was won 3 Division 1 state titles in 9 years
  • Made coaches life miserable and forced her to resign
  • Wrote INSANE emails about how they knew more about coaching basketball than she did, and about how much their kids hated the coach
  • Singled out other people’s kids as being shitty
  • Urged their kids not to listen to their coach and not pass the ball
  • Sat in the stands and wrote down plays the coach should be calling
  • Claimed that other parents told them that “I hate that woman, I can’t wait to write her a letter,” but they were really referring to themselves

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Ashley Brady

  • Head of the greatest Facebook cult ever – Moms of the South Shore
  • Used authority to silence all dissenters and make herself the cult leader
  • Forced newer members to pay between $10 and $50 to join her Facebook group
  • Ran fundraisers for other Moms but all money went through her PayPal and she provided no receipts
  • Kicked out anyone who questioned her
  • When she realized Turtleboy was watching she began posting about a mass purge, expelling thousands of women who did not comment enough and kiss her ass
  • Started fundraiser for herself to go to Disney because her very important work running a Facebook group meant she couldn’t get a job
  • Has a picture of herself on top of the throne at her house
  • Has a different pair of LuLaRoe leggings for every day of the month
  • Will banish you from the group if you talk about her choice of leggings on your own Facebook page
  • Might have sent a mole to Turtleboy Sports undercover to find out if we were in her Facebook group
  • Had a strict policy of no solicitation, even for fundraisers for sick kids, but still ran GoFundMe’s for her Disney trips

 

You have 24 hours to vote.

5 Comment(s)
  • #damnitsgonnabeclose
    April 14, 2018 at 1:06 am

    Crazy ass ashley is gonna win this one hands down, shes a psycho, but she dont compare to the mentally disturbed pedo that takes bodily fluid pictures

  • Captain Trips
    April 13, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    Leigha Genduso will win.

    Anyone with her rap sheet becoming a Statie and getting the coveted K9 patrol is fucking and sucking her way in.

    A guy could never do that.

    Can’t deny that. She fucked and blew her way in.

    Inescapable truth.

    • Captain Tripsssss
      April 13, 2018 at 4:24 pm

      If it was as easy as sucking and fucking a mean big cock …… I’m sure a lot of females would get on and be in coveted positions by now . She wouldn’t be the only one . I’m sure if you could suck a mean cock I’m
      Sure you would .

      • NR
        April 13, 2018 at 10:26 pm

        Well no, it’s not just about sucking cock. Apparently she’s also a talented muff diver.

  • Ratchet level
    April 13, 2018 at 2:36 pm

    There is no comparison between these ratchet chicks . They are all ratchet in their own ways .

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