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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
70. Worcester Mom blames cop who got hit by car for chasing after her son – 22,406 page views
The son is a dick
The Mom is a fatty
The least surprising thing
Is the lack of a Daddy
69. Jorge Zambrano’s twin brother doesn’t show up to court for scamming an old lady out of $7K – 22,672 page views
Didn’t do the job
But he pocketed the cash
Which is why he has to settle
For Grafton Hill trash
A West Roxbury judge issued a warrant today for Jorge Zambrano’s brother for failing to show for court, he’s facing a larceny charge
— Chris Villani (@ChrisVillani44) May 26, 2016
68. Rutland wangsta wants Trump to win so he can kill cops – 22, 696 page views
He thinks he’s hardcore
But he’s really a slug
Cuz you can’t live in Rutland
And still be a thug
67. Burncoat/Boston College/Patriot legend Ron Brace passes away at 29 – 22,940 page views
His skills were the best
His strength knew no bounds
And it hurt to get tackled
By 320 pounds
66. Trigglypuff has a real name and the memes are fantastic – 23,057 page views
She likes to scream and yell
Her favorite food group is grease
We call her Triggly
And she’s morbidly obese
— Ford Freestar (@I_AM_IRON_VAN) April 28, 2016
65. Sharon Osborne does not care for ratchet Brockton Moms – 23,100 page views
If you’re looking for ratchets
Brockton has got em
When Sharon Osborne shits on you
You’ve hit rock bottom
64. Barre board of selectman fire police chief for being too nice – 23,260 page views
The Barre selectmen
Are a bunch of pricks
They fire you if you’re too nice
Cuz I guess they like dicks
63. Spenser Tarentino’s eulogy for his Dad will make you cry – 23,522 page views
Was a waste of space leach
But nothing was more moving
Than Spencer T’s speech
62. Fitchburg moron tries paying for laptop with counterfeit money, ends up getting shot – 23,561 page views
He tries to be a laptop
With counterfeit money
Then he got shot
That shit was mad funny
61. Athol gutterslugs use mentally challenged woman as an incubator – 23,695 page views
The Iorio klan
Is all types of twisted
No doubt in my mind
This chick has been fisted
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