We Found Newportia And Pink Biggums From Unbeweavable Brockton Fight Video And It’s No Surprise They Are Legit Crack Whores.
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So a couple days ago we did a hysterics write up about the craziest Brockton fight any of us have ever seen. It may go down in Turtle History as my best work. If you haven’t had a chance to read it I highly suggest you take some time out of your crappy gray Saturday and give it a go. Pee first. I wouldn’t want you to soak your pantaloons.
Basically, three Hoodrats got in to a fight on the worst corner in Brockton.
It’s probably my favorite fight video since the Auburn Mall Cheesehogs scaring Santa. These are the videos that will forever bring an emotional giggle tear to my eye.
The whole fight between Weaveisha, Newportia, and Pink Biggums seems to have started over some crack. At one point, while locking weave horns with Weaveisha, Newportia, drops her rock and screams for Pink Biggums to find it. It’s simply the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
It even inspired us to name this move the “Hoodrat Helicopter!”
We didn’t know who these fine females were, but thanks for some great tips, we found them! Well, two of them at least. We still aren’t sure who Weaveisha is but you’re welcome to identify her for us.
Newportia, is none other than Chaquita McKoy! She’s bald in the video because she has a fine taste for bad wigs.
Here is a picture of her, with her wig on, and posing with her friends in a rehab facility.
It almost looks like an In Living Color reunion.
Big surprise, she’s a hooker who has had a fabulous list of Google Trophies as she’s a street walking crackhead and they tend to spend a lot of time being arrested.
Kita’s shining moment was when she made the news for stealing herself some honey buns from the same gas station that she threw down at.
There was also that time she got bagged in a crack house. At least she had a warm place to stay when she wasn’t beating people up after getting arrested for shoplifting.
Once I found Kita – it took me no time to figure out who Pink Biggums was.
Meet Julie Cleary.
She’s got an Ivy League education in handjobs and pickle puffing fo dollar.
She’s obviously a sloppy beast and gets her family portraits done on Backpage. Since she was out street diving for crack rocks I’m guessing she doesn’t have custody of her kids. Shockah.
Like Kita, Julie is also a thieving whore with a enormous shelf of Google Trophies! She’s such a cliche they refer to her as a “common streetwalker.” I wonder how extra she would have to be to be an “uncommon” one?
But while her lucrative career of robbing people of purses at the mall and double-wrapping dongs in condoms was at full tilt, she decided that she really needed a GoFundMe to tide her over while she anxiously awaited for her social security to be approved because cancer. It takes a special kind of skank to fake cancer and not admit she blew a disc leaning in to all those car windows…
I’m trying so hard not to lose faith in our search for Weaveisha. I’m praying someone sends us her name.
After all kids, remember it’s not snitching if you’re talking to Auntie Turtlegirl!