All-Star Criminals

Mom And Dad Attempt To Defend East Putnam “Firefighter” Who Stole Car, Enticed Cops Into High Speed Chase, And Hit A State Trooper Before Crashing Into Stone Wall

Mom And Dad Attempt To Defend East Putnam “Firefighter” Who Stole Car, Enticed Cops Into High Speed Chase, And Hit A State Trooper Before Crashing Into Stone Wall

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Here’s a couple winners out of the vast wonderland known as the Connecticut Corridor….

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Where the free my boi crowd at? How bout the “are you perfect?” crew? Or the “he’s a good kid” posse? Or the “media is lying” patrol?

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Oh, there they are. Turns out it’s Mom and Dad.

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Yup. Firefighter in East Putnam apparently. And just like some nudniks we profiled the other day, they don’t understand what the Loving Facebook filter means:

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Once again, “Loving” is in reference to the movie about Loving vs. Virginia, which legalized interracial marriage in America. People who use this filter are supposed to be interracial couples proudly displaying their color blind commitment to one another. It is not meant for white couples or black couples who who are “loving” one another. In this context, Loving is a person’s last name, not a state of affection.

Anyway, guess what junior does?

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So this kid is 19 and he’s a probationary firefighter in East Putnam? Uhhhh…do they just let anyone sign up? Do they just let him piss on the camp fires when they bust up keg parties? I was under the impression that running into burning buildings required pretty extensive training and, ya know, a brain. Someone with common sense not to get in a high speed chase with the cops, ram into a state trooper (forcing them to crash into a tree), before reaching their stone wall getaway destination.

Anyway, Mom and Dad’s contention is that their precious son was just the passenger, therefore, no big deal. But if you hang out with shit for too long:

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Then you start to stink like it. Just sayin.

Apparently these two geniuses went looking for trouble too. They stole a car and began driving around the Plainfield Police Station flipping off the cops, because they apparently had no intention of living to see tomorrow.

Newsflash – no one wants to hear about how your son wasn’t the driver. No one believes that he was just some innocent bystander actively trying to convince his asshole friend to do the right thing and stop the car. No one can relate to being in a situation like that, because no normal person would ever befriend someone like Chad Barrett.

The lesson here is simple – if you or your loved one gets arrested in an incident where a cop or innocent civilian could easily have been killed, stay far, far away from the Facebook machine. No one wants to hear about what a good kid your son is. No one cares that he volunteered at the old folks home that one time. No one cares that no one else is perfect. Because although many of us have returned a library book late, or driven 10 mph above the speed limit, these are not in the same ballpark as what junior and his buddy did.


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23 Comment(s)
  • Mailboxless
    March 28, 2017 at 10:46 am

    So is my mailbox going to get fixed by the state or?

  • Independent Thinker
    March 27, 2017 at 9:32 am

    I’m not going to judge anyone here. I’m just going to speak in very general terms that could apply to anyone.

    Never try to steal someone’s car or break into their home. You never know if that person might be carrying, although in states like Massachusetts and Connecticut, the chances are high that the victim is not carrying. But if he is carrying, you just might find yourself becoming the victim of a well-deserved gunshot to the head.

    Everyone needs to think about these things before deciding to do something which could cause harm to another human being. Unfortunately, too many people have their judgement clouded by heroin, which is why I favor the death penalty for all drug dealers. Remember, unlike other drugs, there is no cure for heroin addiction. Treatment consists of substituting heroin for a synthetic form, which keeps you from going completely crazy and overdosing, but you are still addicted to this synthetic heroin (methadone) and it will impact your ability to work and to function normally.

  • Paul Larson
    March 27, 2017 at 9:24 am

    For other traditions of celebrating the Lunar New Year, see Lunar New Year. For the 1991 Chinese film, see The Spring Festival.
    Chinese New Year
    Official name Ancient Chinese: 歲首; literally: “year’s start”
    Also called Lunar New Year, Spring Festival
    Observed by The Chinese[1]
    Mainland China
    Hong Kong
    Type Cultural, religious
    (Chinese folk religion, Buddhist, Christian, Confucian, Daoism)
    Celebrations Lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gathering, family meal, visiting friends and relatives (拜年, bàinián), giving red envelopes, decorating with chunlian
    Date Chinese lunar new year
    2016 date Monday, 8 February, Monkey
    2017 date Saturday, 28 January, Rooster
    2018 date Friday, 16 February, Dog
    Frequency Annual
    Related to Lantern Festival, which concludes the celebration of the Chinese New Year.
    Mongol New Year (Tsagaan Sar), Tibetan New Year (Losar), Japanese New Year (Shōgatsu), Korean New Year (Seollal), Vietnamese New Year (Tết)
    Chinese New Year
    Spring Festival (Chinese characters).svg
    “Spring Festival (Chinese New Year)” in Traditional (top) and Simplified (bottom) Chinese characters
    Traditional Chinese 春節
    Simplified Chinese 春节
    Literal meaning “Spring Festival”

    Chinese New Year,[2] also known as the “Spring Festival” (simplified Chinese 春节; traditional Chinese 春節; Pinyin: Chūn Jié) in modern Mainland China, is an important Chinese festival celebrated at the turn of the traditional lunisolar Chinese calendar. Celebrations traditionally run from the evening preceding the first day, to the Lantern Festival on the 15th day of the first calendar month. The first day of the New Year falls on the new moon between 21 January and 20 February.[3] In 2017, the first day of the Chinese New Year was on Saturday, 28 January, initiating the year of the Rooster.[4]

    The New Year festival is centuries old and gains significance because of several myths and customs. Traditionally, the festival was a time to honor deities as well as ancestors.[5] Chinese New Year is celebrated in countries and territories with significant Chinese populations, including Mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau, Singapore,[6] Taiwan, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Mauritius and Australia,[7] and the Philippines.[8][9] Chinese New Year is considered a major holiday for the Chinese and has had influence on the lunar new year celebrations of its geographic neighbors.

    Within China, regional customs and traditions concerning the celebration of the Chinese New Year vary widely. Often, the evening preceding Chinese New Year’s Day is an occasion for Chinese families to gather for the annual reunion dinner. It is also traditional for every family to thoroughly clean the house, in order to sweep away any ill-fortune and to make way for incoming good luck. Windows and doors are decorated with red color paper-cuts and couplets with popular themes of “good fortune” or “happiness”, “wealth”, and “longevity”. Other activities include lighting firecrackers and giving money in red paper envelopes. In about one third of the Mainland population, or 500 million Northerners, dumplings (especially those of vegetarian fillings) feature prominently in the meals celebrating the festival.

    It is one of the world’s most prominent and celebrated festivals, with the “largest annual mass human migration in the world”.

    Paul Larson
    Recipient of the coveted T&G pen award

  • James
    March 27, 2017 at 6:39 am

    TurtleBoySports is a perfect example of a mediocre satire website that brings good peoples names into a hole because one person who works at Wal Mart in Putnam as a Customer Service Manager decided to ruin the lives of family members everywhere who are involved in the legal battles of their children, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters, based off of public information that is posted to various news sources everywhere. Just because the information is made public, doesnt mean that it makes it justifiable for punk kids like you, who assist old people with their shopping carts, who think they have beginner journalism skills at best, to even further publicate this information and self deprecate the lives of loved ones surrounding these people. Oh wow, you can trolls peoples Facebook and Instagram pages and dig up dirt on them, that you could probably ask them in person but dont possess the intestinal fortitude to do so to begin with. Before you start tarnishing the legacy of the people who protect your home from burning down and potentially saving your future wasteful children’s lives, how about thinking very carefully next time about the people you want to bring into your articles just so you can get publicity and a little bit of internet fame. – Sincerely, a very concerned reader.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Mirror Mirror
      March 27, 2017 at 8:19 am

      Hi Dad! That first sentence is a whopper. And multi-syllabic words, too. You obviously missed your calling – but I hear HuffPo is always looking for more staff that aren’t qualified to work at McDonalds but have a knack for writing enabling/apologist stories about “misunderstood” yutes.

      • Wabbitt
        March 27, 2017 at 9:54 am

        Were there two yutes?

    • March 27, 2017 at 8:23 am

      Way too long to read especially when it’s written by a brain dead moron.

    • Jack Mehoff
      March 27, 2017 at 8:49 am

      Go get a copy of “The Elements of Style” by Strunk & White. Excellent resource on English Grammar. You might have to give up a six pack of Bud Light for breakfast to afford it but it will make your written communications intelligible.

      • James
        March 30, 2017 at 8:16 am

        Your vocal lexicon is weak.

    • TurtleBiach
      March 27, 2017 at 9:13 am

      ” to even further publicate this information and self deprecate the lives of loved ones surrounding these people. ”

      I read this 9x. Still baffled.

      Guy is even more of a dummy than originally thought…

      How is that even possible?

      • James
        March 30, 2017 at 8:10 am

        Picks one comment out of an entire statement, cant back up why he/she is dumbfounded. Has no evidence to support his/her theory. Pfftt coming from you your words dont mean shit.

    • MrSmiley
      March 27, 2017 at 10:15 am

      Everyone loves a ding ding! Just like police, corrections, etc. If you have a job in public safety, you can be damn sure if you fuck up you’re gonna make the paper! Legacy? This kid cant even buy beer yet…

    • Turd Burglestein
      March 27, 2017 at 11:59 am

      James…please feel free to write your opinion down on a piece of paper, then carefully fold it 6 times until it is approximately a 3″ square, then gently spread your cheeks and stick it straight up your candy ass. We don’t anticipate you needing lube since with your level of existing butthurt that ass is probably gaping wide at this point. However if you do experience any technical difficulties with these directions, please call 1-800-FUCK-OFF and if we are not able to resolve this issue over the phone we will dispatch a technician who will assist you in the spreading of your cheeks and placement of your opinion.

      Hope this helps.

      • James
        March 30, 2017 at 8:07 am

        Says the sheep that follows the stories of a rookie journalist.

    March 26, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    I went to high school with the mom. Her year book pic says MOST LIKELY TO SUCK YOUR DICK

  • Dentists Without Borders
    March 26, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    We’re two weeks behind as it is. From the looks of it, he’ll have to be brought back to the office.

  • DJ ZephyrCat
    March 26, 2017 at 6:11 pm

  • ZephyrCat
    March 26, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    What a total fox!!!! The wife isn’t bad looking either

  • ZephyrCat
    March 26, 2017 at 6:00 pm


  • ZephyrCat
    March 26, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    Jesus! What the hell is wrong with the old man?!?! Looks like he was beaten about the face with a bag of quarters. What in the hell does his wife see in him? Looks like he’s sucking out her soul in the kiss photo. And junior sure looks sad as shit in his mugshot. Then again mugshots aren’t supposed to be glamour photos. Lord knows I’ve always felt I should have smiled for mine. Or at least combed my hair.

    • Thug Banker
      March 26, 2017 at 7:51 pm

      I’ve been beaten around the face with a bag of quarters and beaten around the face with a bag of dicks and from my experience I’ll take the bag of dicks any day.

    • Not one huh
      March 27, 2017 at 7:39 am

      Wonder if Ren Ren Jones aka Serenity Jones who is a regular commenter on this site smiled for her mugshots (plural) too…and many of her fb friends lists as well.

      • Not one huh
        March 27, 2017 at 7:50 am

        Don’t forget to look up her 2007 thefts…really nice. Nice.

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