Oh man. We’ve got another Track Mark Betty out of the Connecticut corridor. This one is a doozy.
y Getting Drunk On Cinco De Mayor And Tweeting Jokes About Trump

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This has to be one of the more amusing announcements I’ve seen from Connecticut. Constant entertainment down there. Lemme tell ya…

So let me get this straight, Lynn has become so well known at this point that the officers just call her up on her cell instead of chasing her? That’s gold.

“Sup bae, this be the police. We’re gonna need you to meet us at our spot.”

“Aight Fam, I didn’t mean to do y’all dirty, but i’ll only come if you buying me an M&M McFlurry.”

“I gotchoo.”

-She gets so excited about the idea of a free McFlurry that she speeds off and forgets the drugs in her purse.-

What’s even better is that Homegirl agreed to meet them at McDicks and had forgotten to take the bags of black tar out of her purse. I know the last time I got a McBooty call from the PO-PO I dumped my Ronald McDiesels and replaced them with honey mustard for my delicious McNuggets. Girl gotta be prepared, y’all.

(I don’t really think the police were after her for a booty call. I was using my artistic license for a giggle. Creatively paraphrasing, if you will.) 

So, someone sent this to us with a note saying that her Facebook was straight gold and oh my dear Jesus were they right.

This chick also has three pages of google results for being pulled over for heroin. I posted the top few. It’s pretty bad when random folk on the internet respond like this every time you get arrested:

I’m amazed we haven’t heard of her before now.

When she’s not taking lazy-eyed/wonky brow selfies, she’s showing off her weird boobs and boxing jowls. Everything she posts screams backpage.

I’m guessing she doesn’t shoot yo with her selfie arm.

Are the fake eyebrows the cause of the crazy eyes? We may never know.

She also enjoys broadcasting every aspect of her personal business on there. Like, her kids being taken away because she was shooting up in front of them. How her brother and sister in-law have custody of them. Instead of seeing that the guardians are doing their best to give the kids some stability, Lynn makes herself the victim.

Let’s take a walk through the Facebook forest of Junkie Lynn, shall we?

*ditto, you ratchets. Dido is that bitch that did that track with Eminem a while back.

There is nothing more strict than an ex-junkie and Megan here will prove that. She throws in her hair tox-screen knowledge like that’s a normal thing.

But Lynn is so concerned with her kids and yet she finds that buying puppies and make-up are more important than paying child support for them.

Let’s continue shall we?

It seems to me that the people taking care of these kids have their head on straight. They don’t want Lynn, or her ratchet druggie-sympathizing momma, near the impressionable young girls. It’s a smart move. Instead of seeing that, Lynn just plays the pity train for Facebook, writing passive aggressive letters to her kid.

However, it’s pretty clear that she hasn’t cleaned up.

I’m always talking about kicking methadone on my Facebook page. Always.

You’re kidding me right? All of you crack muppets say you’re sober, bitch about DCF, talk about the clinic, and post cute things like “shoot your local drug dealer.” You could be doped-out cookie cutters. No one is buying it. That’s probably why the cops have you on speed dial.

P.s. Before I finish up I would like to touch on one quick point. Since when did the meaning of Karma become some talking point for ghetto revenge? That’s not how Karma works you fucking dumpster fires. You won’t see your revenge in this life. You don’t get to watch it come full-frickan-circle. Citing Karma in your ghetto Facebook posts is almost becoming the new Bulls hat and dog filter. Knock it off. 

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