The 2017 Turtleboy Naughty List #70-61
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Merry Christmas Turtle Riders!! For a special Christmas treat we’re counting down the 100 naughtiest Turtleboy famous slugpumps, fupasloths, and cheesehogs from 2017. Here’s #70-61…..
It’s bad enough if you regularly carry around Narcan with you and get woken up in your car during the middle of a bad trip. It’s even more pathetic when you then comment on the viral video and pat yourself on the back for being a hero.
One guy goes to prison for being a multi-million dollar heroin dealer, and his partner in crime starts fingerblasting his wife while he’s gone and coercing them into threesomes with his haram of Hooter’s employees.
68. Pawtucket Junkbunnies mistake Turtleboy for Xanax dealer
If you post that you’re looking to buy zannies, and someone tags Turtleboy, that doesn’t mean we’re the zannie dealer. It means we’re going to blog about you.
67. Chelsea Allen
What are the odds that a professional con artist wedding photographer would bring her children around her drug dealing failed rapper boyfriend?
66. Deanna Brogna
When you’ve raised a child who sees nothing wrong with putting a baby in a fridge and then posting a video of it to social media, you done fucked up as a mother.
65. Cambridge Anti-Dr. Seuss Librarian
If your response to getting a bunch of free Dr. Seuss books from the first lady is to reject them and write her a letter explaining why Dr. Seuss is a racist, then you’re naughty level is 100 emoji frfr. Just make sure there aren’t pictures of you everywhere supporting Dr. Seuss before Trump got elected.
Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss! K and 1 celebrated with a green egg breakfast! @Cport_School @cambridge_cpsd pic.twitter.com/9st5TmSmpi
— CPORT | Specialists (@Cport_Special) March 3, 2015
64. Walter Bird
The media is supposed to report on what women leaders are doing in the community. Not try to bang them all.
If you are so ravaged with white guilt that you feel the need to accuse an entire baseball stadium of supporting racism, then at least come up wit a sign that makes sense and can’t be misinterpreted by the masses.
If you dress your daughter like a freak and teach her that it’s OK to trespass on other people’s property, then don’t whine when the neighbors finally say enough is enough.
It’s OK if you’re a failed columnist working for a dying newspaper, who hasn’t gotten a raise in 30 years and constantly writes about how offended she is by Trump and sexism in general. But if you think it’s OK to post pictures of your tow driver’s ass on Facebook for the purpose of public humiliation after he fixed your tire even though you don’t have Triple A, then you’re naughty to the max.
