All-Star Criminals

The Boston Cop Who Had His Gun Stolen By 2 Providence Instaslampig Stripper He Was “Hanging Out” With Paid Way Too Much ($2,500), Got Played By The Pimp


This is Emanuel Brandao – the Boston cop who had his gun stolen by two unemployed Providence hookers at motel in Pawtucket known for prostitution, even though they were just “hanging out.”

Obviously I have respect for anyone who has served our country, but it’s not a license to break the law. Personally, I think it’s a little messed up that only the Instaslampigs take the fall on this one. Don’t get me wrong, we all enjoy a good hooker mugshot.

But the fact of the matter is that the guy who was meeting them there was breaking the law too, and just because he’s a cop doesn’t make him any better than them. NBC is covering for him, as are the BPD, but the Providence Journal doesn’t have a problem naming and shaming. Here’s what really happened:

Two Providence women accused of stealing a Boston police officer’s gun said that he paid them $2,500 for sex in a Pawtucket hotel room, according to police and court records. Boston officer Emanuel Brandao had arranged the “date” with “Melissa” and “Natalia” last weekend, with drinks at a Providence hookah bar and entertainment at the Cadillac Lounge strip club, and ending up in his room at the Hampton Inn, a half-mile from the Pawtucket Police Department. Brandao, who was identified in the records, told Pawtucket police that he and the women were just “hanging out” in his room early last Saturday morning. Around 2:30 a.m., after the women left, Brandao told police, he realized his gun had been stolen out of the glove box of his BMW. However, Melissa Dacier, 22, and Neish Rivera, 25, told police that Brandao had arranged a “date” with them and paid $2,500 for their time, including sex, according to the records.

Brandao called Pawtucket police as soon as he realized his gun was missing. By afternoon, Pawtucket police had figured out who the women were. Pawtucket police detective Lt. Timothy Graham said Detective Justin Gould spoke with Rivera by phone, and she directed them to a Providence fire station. The .40-caliber Glock was right where she said it would be — wrapped in a plastic Walmart bag and stuffed in a mail slot at the fire station at 489 Hartford Ave., Graham said. As Providence criminal investigators seized the gun and turned it over to Pawtucket detectives, Rivera pulled up in an Uber to meet with them, he said.

LOL. Who would’ve ever thought that you couldn’t trust a face like this not to dime you out:

She seems so principled and virtuous.

The most egregious part about this story is that he had $2,500 to blow on creaming the Twinkie and he spent it on this:

His taste alone should be a felony.

He was initially only gonna pay $1,000 to the one who lost her job at the Foxy Lady after offering an undercover cop $300 to polish the porpoise. Then somehow he got roped into the Valentine’s Day special.

The Boston Police Department also did not respond to questions about the $2,500 that the women said Brandao paid them for sex. Rivera, who was charged with prostitution during a sting at the Foxy Lady strip club in December, goes by “Miss Magic” on Instagram: “Strictly bussniess always paid 100.” That’s where Brandao contacted her for a “date” last Friday evening, later telling police that he knew her as “Natalia.” Their “date” was going to cost $1,000 for Rivera’s time, according to the records, and when the Boston officer asked if she had any friends, the price went up another $1,000. Dacier met them at Nara Lounge, where they had drinks, and then went to the Cadillac Lounge, according to police records.

What kind of deal is that? Buy one, get one full price, plus $500? Does Officer Dipshit not understand how buying in bulk works? Paying $1,000 for one is criminal enough as it is, but shelling out $1,000 for her crackmuppet friend, and then giving them $500 for absolutely no reason, should be grounds for dismissal. Well, there’s actually lots of reasons this guy should never be a cop again:

  1. He was knowingly breaking the law
  2. His job is to arrest people who were doing the same thing he did
  3. He can never arrest anyone again, because he’d be a nightmare on the witness stand
  4. He’s only been on the job for less than 2 years
  5. He’s so devoid of street smarts that he gave a hooker the keys to his car, knowing his gun was inside of it

I also had no idea that IG is where you go to get hookers now that Backpage is closed. And Miss Magic’s IG might be the most misleading page I’ve ever seen.

“Always paid 100.” More like, $2,500. And I steal your gun. She’s not exactly hiding what she does for a living, nor could she be more direct. You give me money. I sheath the meat dagger.

Her profile picture should be reported to consumer affairs.


Just no.

Oh, and in case he tries to play the “I didn’t realize they were hookers” card…..

The officer said he’d locked his service weapon with a cable lock inside the glove box of his BMW 328i before going into the strip club. Rivera said the club threw her out when they recognized her from the Foxy Lady sting, according to the records. So, they went back to the Hampton Inn. The women said Brandao had sex with them and decided to pay through Cash App, a mobile payment service that transfers money. He sent Dacier to his car to get his phone charger, according to the reports. Soon after, the women were gone, and so was his gun.

They got kicked out of another strip club because she’s been blacklisted at every titty bar in the state. He knew exactly what he was there to do.

They also had a pimp with them who likely told them to steal his gun when they found out he was a cop. This is career criminal Kyle Benford.

He was in the elevator with the cop and the smash sisters when he got into a fight with them, because sometimes a pimp has to keep his hoes in line.

The theft of Brandao’s service weapon may have stemmed from an argument between the women and Benford at the Hampton Inn in Pawtucket, according to police and court records. The Pawtucket police say that Benford was in the elevator with them and got into an argument. Brandao told the police that he broke up the argument; one of the women said Brandao announced he was a cop and had a gun in his car, according to the records.

As leader of the poon-tang clan, what did you think the pimp was gonna do when you volunteered that you were a cop and had a gun in the car? Of course he’s immediately thinking about a way to steal your gun. He knows he’s got you by the balls because you’re a cop. What are you gonna do? Admit that you found an Instaslampig, offered her way too much money for rumpy-pumpy, and then idiotically gave one of them the keys to your car so she could steal your service weapon? What an maroon. Just drive around Pawtucket until you find them, give them a couple bags of H, and get your gun back. That’s what a real corrupt cop would do. Act like you’ve been there before.



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54 Comment(s)
  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    February 11, 2019 at 4:40 pm

    i think that article has a typo, they added two zeros to the $25. christ, this moron is unreal i bet when he was deployed he spent bank banging hookers with bleeding eyes and feet.

  • MrSmiley
    February 11, 2019 at 3:01 pm

    I’ll tell you what. The real winner in this case? Makeup… Amazing how scarface can get IG gorgeous and looks like a 1k per sesh hooker. Fucking clown needs to get shitcanned MP or not. No idea why they tried to hide his identity to begin with. Flip the script, he would absolutely be naming and parading the name of a civillian using their services.

  • Buford Pussee
    February 11, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    For $2,500 I expect Kink Mansion type antics with a European model involving leather hoods, motorized pulleys and rubber phalluses attached to broom handles, not a pair of hard 3’s in a crusty, vomit covered Rhode Island hellhole

  • Viva Cabo Verde
    February 11, 2019 at 2:51 pm

    Isn’t diversity/vet preference great? A thank you is in order to the Pawtucket PD for not brooming this for their “brother in blue”. This idiot lacks the requisite judgement required to work at McDonald’s, let alone be a cop.

    • No comparison!
      February 12, 2019 at 12:12 am

      Hey, fuck you for putting vet preference on the same level as minority hiring.
      There is a huge difference, even though they are both considered “protected classes”.
      For gender/minority, you only need to be born dark or with a vag.
      For Veterans, the preference is given because that individual made a CONSCIOUS DECISION to sign a contract and potentially offer up his life in service to his country. (his/her)
      One category is circumstantial, the other is choice, get it?
      I’ll keep my personal feelings about the CV crowd to myself.

      • Now that you mention it
        February 12, 2019 at 9:17 am

        Sure, I support the military but its a fucking job. You sign up for it and get paid. Dangerous? Yes but so aren’t a lot of other jobs. I’ve met 180 day National Guard “vets” and even full time guys who were literally dumber than a fucking brick. Giving someone a desired and well-paying job just because they “served” is bullshit. Hiring should be solely on merit. Just because someone sent 4 years mowing the parade ground doesn’t make them better qualified.

        • Hey jealousy
          February 13, 2019 at 3:57 am

          The only thing the vet preference does is move them up on the audition roster.
          Still have to interview like everyone else, still have to pass the background checks like everyone else.
          You obviously were never in the service and you’re just jealous as fuck because you didn’t measure up or you never stepped up at all.
          I’ts not just a job, either.
          They own you 24/7 and you’re subject to more laws and regulations than any civilian.
          They can send you to the other side of the world as they wish.
          You can’t give your two weeks notice and walk away.
          Show me a “job” that has all of that going on.

          • FU
            February 13, 2019 at 7:06 pm

            It most certainly is a job and one that attracts it’s fair share of dipshits and those with small penises (such as yourself). You’re right, I never “served”. I applied myself, wasn’t lazy, got an education, good job, etc. Having “served” doesn’t excuse criminal behavior nor should it bring leniency. You must be one those annoying pricks with their fucking hand out constantly and lecturing everyone else about how you “served” and how everyone should kiss your ass and give you free shit all day long because of it. Your sense of entitlement makes real heroes look bad. Fuck off.

  • Iraqistan Vet
    February 11, 2019 at 2:50 pm

    The yankee division must be so proud. When the news reports first came out and they didn’t give his name We already knew why….. Pathetic media. Thanks for existing Turtleboy

  • Rats Nest
    February 11, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    Stuttering Mmmm Mahty Wwwwalsh will fix this.

  • No Future AT ALL!!!
    February 11, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    You have NO FUTURE, at all, as any sort of cop (well, maybe, in the MSP! Remember, Leigha!)

    So, your best bet would be bagging groceries at Walmart; picking up trash along I-90 (west and east: can’t discriminate!); or scrubbing toilets! Take your pick!

    You did this to yourself, Ace!!! Get used to menial work!!!

  • Fake is foul
    February 11, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    Any picture that someone uses a filter on it, chances are they are ugly as hell. That looked like two different people. And they use those photo filters cause even they know they are ugly as fuck.

  • HR Is a Disaster
    February 11, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    Perhaps they are hiring cops in Brazil. I think I’ll go apply. I get special treatment right?

    • Deputy Commissioner Gross
      February 11, 2019 at 2:00 pm

      I think the pimp is number 3 on Boston’s recent civil service list for non white felons.

  • bill fleming
    February 11, 2019 at 1:17 pm

    Wasn’t the former head of the National Guard General Joe Carter a Boston Police Officer forced to resign because he raped and beat a female soldier.

    • A
      February 11, 2019 at 1:41 pm

      Wasn’t he a diversity hire?

    • Y
      February 11, 2019 at 2:53 pm

      T pd chief….the 4 star general we called that cock smooch

    • MrSmiley
      February 11, 2019 at 2:56 pm

      MBTA commandant. Not the only shiiittbaaag from the 211th good ol boys club battalion. Way to be 972!!

  • No I’m Not
    February 11, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    I’m shocked a new special list hire would do this

  • Directed at "Officer (HA! HA!) Brandao
    February 11, 2019 at 11:35 am

    At least you’re “hanging out” with “ladies”!

    Would hate to think that you were “hanging out” with trannies! (although they look like it!)

    If not trannies, then pretty disgusting “ladies of the night”. (and using the term “ladies” is a FAR reach from the true term)

    Just sayin’!

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      February 11, 2019 at 1:28 pm

      The hookers being trannies, or even just one, would have been icing on the cake.

  • juror seven esq.
    February 11, 2019 at 11:33 am

    Looking at his National Guard picture, can anyone tell me what the medal around his neck is for? I doubt it is a military award in the traditional sense. It hides his rank badge on the uniform front but I’m guessing he’s a spec 4.

    The democratic city machine in working overtime to spin all of this for mayor Marty. The new police commissioner’s head is about to explode knowing mayor Marty is attempting to “fix” this. Perhaps he’ll call the new Boston College head of security to see if he has any open positions. After all this special hire came on his watch.

    • Officer Brendao
      February 11, 2019 at 11:39 am

      The ribbon is to wrap around their necks so that they don’t get away!

      If they suffocate from it, then so much the better!

    • Anthony Grossi
      February 11, 2019 at 1:26 pm

      yeah, he’s a specialist all right.

      The medal he’s wearing is probably a “challenge coin” or “challenge medal”. Various military units give them out for participating in a successful project. As you said, not a “traditional” medal given for individual achievement/recognition.

      • Everyone Gets a Fucking Medal!!! UGH!!!
        February 11, 2019 at 2:27 pm

        “Everyone Gets a Medal”, even in the military?

        What has this world fucking come to?

    • The Skipper
      February 11, 2019 at 1:28 pm

      Special Olympics.

  • Big Wick
    February 11, 2019 at 11:27 am

    She looks like she got hit in the face with a bag full of nickels.

  • vic
    February 11, 2019 at 11:25 am

    Shouldn’t Pawtucket police just have used the recovered Glock to stage a murder suicide?
    Two RI prostitutes shot by a BPD cop who then took his own life with a service revolver!

    Saves taxpayers a lot of money 🙂 [At least a couple of million over a lifetime of EBT cards, fake details etc etc]

    • True Reality Speaks
      Jerry Miculek
      February 11, 2019 at 8:26 pm

      Glock doesn’t make a revolver – only polymer semi-auto pistols. Gotta go to Colt, Smith & Wesson, or Ruger for a cowboy gun.

  • Pathetic Wretch!
    February 11, 2019 at 11:23 am

    WOW! Hanging out with these two “masterpieces”???

    Are you actually serious? Do you REALLY want to stick your dick in those “holes”?

    Are you that FUCKING desperate?

    There is no hope for you! The only thing you can do is go back to the military, and maybe someone will bend over for you!

  • Dave Ramsey
    February 11, 2019 at 11:19 am

    Money saving tip. You can jack off for free…

  • White Lives Matter
    February 11, 2019 at 11:16 am

    Affirmative action hire, no question. I bet 90-95% of non-white cops aren’t qualified to wear a badge. This is what happens when you try to “diversify” rather than just stick to the master race.

    • A
      February 11, 2019 at 1:20 pm

      Got that right!

      That applies to all diversity hires, too!

      • Rear Admiral Fingerblaster
        February 11, 2019 at 1:44 pm

        You can throw females on that list too. Very rare to find a decent one

        • Tom Blackburn
          February 11, 2019 at 6:45 pm

          Yup. Females, blacks, hispanics, gays, muslims… zero of these should be cops. Keep it to white men, it’s worked for literally centuries.

  • Nice work if you can get it
    February 11, 2019 at 11:02 am

    Let’s see…the dude has a BMW and $2,500 to blow on two hookies in the lowest of low class sex romps, and he’s a regular old Boston cop with less than two years on the job. What in God’s holy name is the starting salary for a Boston cop?

    • z
      February 11, 2019 at 11:49 am

      2 years in? I’d be looking at everything he’s been involved in as a cop.

      I doubt these young ladies take cash or a credit card.
      The woman say $100 so you bring $2500?

      Where’s the cop ball lickers with their posts today who refuse to separate good cops from bad cops?

      • z
        February 11, 2019 at 12:54 pm

        1 down vote!!!
        Come on bad cop ball lickers!!!!!!
        You wish it was you with him in the motel room. Admit it. It’s ok. This is a judgement free zone.

        I feel like Jerry Lewis at his Telethon.
        “Ed!!!! What’s the total?”

        • Just Wondering
          February 11, 2019 at 1:46 pm

          Why the hatred for the police?

    • juror seven esq.
      February 11, 2019 at 2:24 pm

      According to another article about this guy and his romp in RI he stated that he just got back from a deployment, so I assume his guard unit was activated. He would have both heavy balls and a fat wallet if that is the case.

      He’s been on the force in Boston for 2 years, at 36 years old that’s a pretty late start for a law enforcement career. Don’t know if he might have been a summer cop down on the cape someplace.

  • WOW! What a Fucking Mess
    February 11, 2019 at 11:01 am

    So, when I’m driving out of Logan, after picking up a family member, I can expect to see Officer(?) Brandao’s car sitting on the side of the road with an A.I.D.S.-filled hooker?

    I’ll be sure to point “them” out, as we drive away from cesspool!

  • Sgt. Truth Meter
    February 11, 2019 at 10:41 am

    I was a detective for way too long and this cop needs a new line of work.
    1. Too many lies to count and it hasn’t even hit the courts.
    2. I hate the smell of a cover up in the morning.

  • WeRFuked
    February 11, 2019 at 10:32 am

    No big deal. It ain’t over Brandao. You can still be a Mass state trooper.

  • Fake cop, real asshole
    February 11, 2019 at 10:16 am

    That fucking crack head piece of shit is no cop in my book

  • R Lee Ermey
    February 11, 2019 at 10:15 am

    Thank you for your service…revolver.

  • eugene
    February 11, 2019 at 10:04 am

    My first thought on why this guy wasn’t named seems to be right.He’s not white.Not a good look for the leftist traitors.

  • WTF
    February 11, 2019 at 9:50 am

    Why isn’t he arrested?

  • EmfnT
    February 11, 2019 at 9:49 am

    “Just drive around Pawtucket until you find them, give them a couple bags of H, and get your gun back. That’s what a real corrupt cop would do. Act like you’ve been there before.”

    We’re not talking about Harvey Keitel in The Bad Lieutenant here. This guy is obviously a moron. I’m just happy he did the right thing and reported it to local po-po right away so they could recover the gun. Obviously, this chud should lose his job. Let’s hope BPD does the right thing.

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    February 11, 2019 at 9:44 am

    Gotta respect her upsell game.

    And what kind of cop cant wrangle a free blowie out of a working girl.

    Weak game soldier. Best of luck in your bouncer or security guard gig.

  • z
    February 11, 2019 at 9:41 am


    Great googly-moogly!!!!!

    For 2500 take a long weekend, fly to the DR and hire some locals.
    Or Haiti.
    Or Nevada.

    Or as Ann said below, hit on the locals that will do it for free.
    Just be careful, some may want to use your baton.
    He may be into that. I’m not judging.

  • Rusty Trombone
    February 11, 2019 at 9:36 am

    This is what happens when police departments relax their hiring standards in the name of diversity. Guaranteed this guy is an idiot who was greased through the academy because he’s a minority but in reality he should be delivering pizzas. 

    Yay diversity!!

  • mcf1122
    Ann Flaherty
    February 11, 2019 at 9:34 am

    A Boston cop doesn’t know where the cop groupies hang out to get it for free?

    • z
      February 11, 2019 at 12:49 pm

      Worked with a woman who “Liked” cops. From what I hear she went through the whole small town police force outside of Hartford CT. Ended up marrying one.

      Must have been a fun wedding. You’re getting married and you invite your fellow-officers to the ceremony and they are all giggling like 12 year olds looking at a Playboy magazine.

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