Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Sweet 16: Trap Queen Region

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The voting is completed for the two Sweet 16 matchups in the Cheesehog region, which thus far has been the only region that’s been relatively upset free. And true to form the 1 and 2 seeds have advanced to the Elite 8….

RIP Claremont Lynch Mom and the South Shore Sausage Queen. You were ratchet, but not the most ratchet of them all. It sets up one hell of an Elite 8 matchup though, since Ashley Brady was right on the 1-2 line going into the seeding.

Time to move onto the Trap Queen Region, which looks like this:

As usual we will provide you with highlights from each ratchet’s resume, as well as links to blogs about them so that you can make an informed decision.


9. Chicopee DCF Grundle Queen vs. 5. Fall River Trap Queen Gladiators

Chicopee DCF Grundle Queen

  • On rare visitation with kids she got into a fender bender and pulled a knife on the other guy
  • Went back home, dropped kids off, came back to scene of crime to knife the guy and got arrested
  • Went on Facebook and bragged about pulling knife on dude
  • Sent herself letters she claimed were from Turtleboy, went on Facebook and posted video of herself opening threatening letters she sent herself and claimed were from Turtleboy
  • Sent Turtleboy graphic images of women giving felatio



Fall River Trap Queen Gladiators

  • Fought not once, not twice, but three separate times over incarcerated, dirty dick, mutual baby Daddy
  • Filmed themselves driving around Fall River on Facebook Live, calling each other out while on the hunt
  • Both bragged about visiting him more recently in prison
  • Both had recently given birth and had kids take by DCF
  • Wrote series of most ghettotastic Facebook posts back and forth calling each other out for being more ratchet
  • Bigger one claimed that thick girls have better pussy
  • Skinny one claimed that she tells baby daddy that this is his pussy during doggystyle
  • Went back and forth with each other on mother’s day, in which neither saw their childre





14. Woonsocket Juicehead Ex-Cop vs. 10. West Warwick Trash Princess

Woonsocket Juicehead Ex-Cop

  • Former Woonsocket cop, suspended for a series of major fuck ups before being fired
  • Started dealing drugs and become huge juicehead after cop life
  • Pulled over by former colleagues with drugs in car, refused to comply, ended up getting tazed after trying to fight them
  • Went to benefit for man who died from drug addiction, ended up fighting several men and was tossed out
  • Went home, posted racially charged threats over and over and over again, including messages towards the dead man’s family who she fought
  • Adapts her vernacular based on race of guys she’s currently banging



West Warwick Trash Princess

  • Previously got into fight at Cranston carnival where she was collateral damage, went home, smeared blood on face, claimed she was assaulted by male, trashbag father led campaign to hunt down alleged assailant
  • Did a bunch of acid, posted it on snapchat
  • Set up other girl in marijuana deal
  • Threw objects at car driven by people she just ripped off on highway, leading to major car accident and near death of driver
  • Called out Coventry PD for lying about frequent OD’s
  • Frequent user of dog filters

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 9.20.57 PM



You have 24 hours to vote…….

1 Comment(s)
  • NJ Turtlebacker
    April 22, 2018 at 12:37 pm

    This round is getting intense. All the remaining seeds are incredibly deserving Even though there can be only one true champion, they’re all deserving losers.

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