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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
100. Mambo Drinks 100 person brawl – 18,561 page views
Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you like a big fat ass
Then Mambo Drink is for you
99. Ron Tarentino’s kid surprises his Mom by coming from from Fort Bragg dressed in his high school football uniform – 18,578 page views
Roses are red
Some chicks are bi
Colin Kaepernick is a bitch
But this made us cry
98. Twenty State Senators vote against funding for bulletproof vests for police officers on the day of Ron Tarentino’s wake – 18,726 page views
The death of an officer
Left plenty of blame
These 20 Senators
Should bow their heads in shame
20 State Senators Voted Against Money For Bullet Proof Vests Day Before Ron Tarentino Will Be Buried
97. Liz Costa’s Bootleg GoFundMe – 18,763 page views
When DCF takes your kids
Cuz you can’t stay clean
And you start a GoFundMe
You’re a grimy trap queen
96. Jerell Sciarra exposed – 18,938 page views
Somehow this ogre
Is still in high school
He thinks he’s a bad ass
But he’s really a tool
95. Dumb parents sue school for disciplining their kid – 19,015 page views
When your kid goes nuts
And gets a timeout
You should probably quit bitching
And chill the fuck out
94. Top 5 Biggest Dump towns in Rhode Island – 19,063 views
Pawtucket’s a dump
Cohasett sucks balls
But nothing compares
To that shithole Central Falls
93. Coach pretends to be a kid and plays against kids in football game – 19,098 page views
His team was getting beat
So he jumped in the game
But the kids still beat his ass
And the result was the same
92. Grafton Hill hoodrats react after one gets arrested with gun – 19,187 page views
Hoodrats are hoodrats
They think guns are a toy
And when they nab one on G Hill
They scream “free my boi”
91. Spencer trashbag tells Spencer Police she will not be helping them catch her criminal friend – 19,270 page views
Some people are dumb
But it doesn’t get much denser
Than a failed liquor store robber
And a ratchet from Spencer
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2 Comment(s)
I demand MOAR!!!! this is such a tease!
Firsties!! Just so you know I was in a car accident! Now I have nerve damage and have to smoke pot and heroin all day for the pain. That’s why I can’t get a job.