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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
20. The MIAA and Holy Name won’t let an eligible high school student play football because he’s too good – 44,543 page views
A bunch of adults
Won’t let a kid play
More useless bullshit
From the MIAA
19. Remembering the Uxbridge cult, the Church of End Times 44,554 page views
They banged teenage girls
And got them real tipsy
We expected nothing less
From two Uxbridge gypsies
18. This guy deserved to get his ass beat – 46,653 page views
When you run from the cops
Your bones they will break
But that’s what you get
For being a slug rake
— Boston 25 News (@boston25) May 11, 2016
17. Misti Iorio capitalizes off the deaths of two girls in Orange – 47,295 page views
Two little girls died
And she pocketed the cash
We expected nothing less
From Athol white trash
16. Webster ratchets try to fight cops, lose miserably – 47,379 page views
Poor life decisions
By these ratchets from Webster
A couple of them look
Like child molesters
15. Oxford High School student records his teacher, sends to Turtleboy, backfires on him – 48,155 page views
When you’re in school
Please respect your teacher
Or else you’ll end up
As a Turtleboy feature
14. West Warwick family celebrates the APB for their white trash son – 48,671 page views
West Warwick ginger
Involved in hit and run
Mom and Dad’s Facebook
Was tons of turtle fun
13. Hillary Clinton stages a photograph a couple days after getting her ass beat by Trump – 50,209 page views
To fall for this hoax
You’d have to be a chump
She couldn’t stop lying
After losing to Trump
— Michael Cappetta (@MCappetta) November 10, 2016
12. The Greenfield Recorder interviews two idiots who blame Orange FD for letting two girls die in a fire – 50,672 page views
The Greenfield Recorder
Always seems to be wrong
That’s what you get
For trusting ding-dongs
11. The Rochdale standoff with Jorge Zambrano was the most intense day since Watertown – 53,972 page views
The hunt for Zambrano
Sure was a thriller
No better ending
For a bitch ass cop killer
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