Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy’s Top 100 Most Popular Blogs Of The Year: #20-11

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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.

So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.

  • We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
  • We were the first to announce when he was killed.
  • We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
  • We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
  • We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.

We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.

With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……


20. The MIAA and Holy Name won’t let an eligible high school student play football because he’s too good – 44,543 page views

A bunch of adults

Won’t let a kid play

More useless bullshit

From the MIAA


Shepherd Hill Football Player Kevin Mensah Can’t Play All Season, Losing D1 Scholarship Offers Because Holy Name Administrators, MIAA Don’t Care About Kids


19. Remembering the Uxbridge cult, the Church of End Times 44,554 page views

They banged teenage girls

And got them real tipsy

We expected nothing less

From two Uxbridge gypsies

What Ever Happened To The Church Of End Times In Uxbridge – The Greatest Gypsy Cult Worcester Country Has Ever Seen?


18. This guy deserved to get his ass beat – 46,653 page views

When you run from the cops

Your bones they will break

But that’s what you get 

For being a slug rake

Quit Whining About This Career Criminal Getting Punched By State Troopers Because He Earned That Ass Whooping

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17. Misti Iorio capitalizes off the deaths of two girls in Orange –  47,295 page views

Two little girls died

And she pocketed the cash

We expected nothing less

From Athol white trash

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Local Woman Profiting Off Of Death Of Little Girls In Orange Fire By Selling Bows In Their “Honor,” Donating Proceeds To Nonexistent Charity



16. Webster ratchets try to fight cops, lose miserably – 47,379 page views

Poor life decisions

By these ratchets from Webster

A couple of them look

Like child molesters 

All-Star Webster Hoodrats Attack Webster Cops, Get Their Asses Beat, Write Historically Moronic Things On Facebook



15. Oxford High School student records his teacher, sends to Turtleboy, backfires on him – 48,155 page views

When you’re in school

Please respect your teacher

Or else you’ll end up

As a Turtleboy feature

Kid From Oxford High School Secretly Records Teacher, Sends Video To Turtleboy To Try To Get Him Fired, Backfires Completely


14. West Warwick family celebrates the APB for their white trash son –  48,671 page views

West Warwick ginger

Involved in hit and run

Mom and Dad’s Facebook 

Was tons of turtle fun

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West Warwick Police Facebook APB For Ghettofabulous Ginger Brings Out Greatest Facebook Commentary Of All Time

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13. Hillary Clinton stages a photograph a couple days after getting her ass beat by Trump – 50,209 page views

To fall for this hoax

You’d have to be a chump

She couldn’t stop lying

After losing to Trump

Media Loves Story About Woman Who Goes For Walk And Randomly Runs Into Hillary And Bill, Turns She Worked For Her Campaign And It Was All Staged



12. The Greenfield Recorder interviews two idiots who blame Orange FD for letting two girls die in a fire –  50,672 page views

The Greenfield Recorder

Always seems to be wrong

That’s what you get

For trusting ding-dongs


Greenfield Recorder Quotes Morons Who Blamed Orange Firefighters For Not Saving Two Young Girls From Fire



11. The Rochdale standoff with Jorge Zambrano was the most intense day since Watertown – 53,972 page views

The hunt for Zambrano

Sure was a thriller

No better ending

For a bitch ass cop killer

Video From Standoff In Rochdale Made Sunday The Most Intense Day Ever, And Ended With Dead Cop Killer And Injured State Trooper



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1 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    December 31, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Too bad. I expected those Webster ratchets fighting the cops to crack the top 10.

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