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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
90. Jennie Chenkin’s 2,000 word email threatening to sue Turtleboy and many others gets linked to Breitbart and Barstool – 19,377 page views
When SJW’s get triggered
They go kind of nuts
That’s why so many of them
Have little boy haircuts
89. Fitchburg crackfight on Main Street in broad daylight – 19,616 views
If this happened in your town
You’ll hear things you’ve never heard
But crackfights like this
Are pretty standard in the Burg
88. Plainfield sex offenders trying to score a free baby on Facebook yard sales – 19,713 page views
A couple skags looking for a baby
Doesn’t matter the gender
As long as they don’t mind living
With a Level 3 sex offender
87. Oakmont High School gets rid of golf and cheerleading – 19,952 page views
High school sports
Are always fun
So when you get rid of cheerleading
It seems pretty dumb
— Paula Owen (@PaulaOwenTG) April 6, 2016
86. Terrible SJW Zarna Joshi goes nuts on guy for sexual harassment because he said his name was Hugh Mungus – 20,013 page views
When it comes to SJW’s
This chick is a fungus
And she lost her mind
When she ran into Hugh Mungus
85. Woman pretends to be Charlton cop and close friends with deceased police officers – 20,138 page views
Dumbass Spencer woman
Thinks she’s a Charlton cop
With those kind of fables
They should call her Aesop
84. Everyone believes this obviously fake story about a white SJW saving black children from racist cops on the MBTA – 20,193 page views
Is so full of shit
Bet you a million dollars
She doesn’t shave armpits
83. Snoop Dog proudly shares article about Charlton drive by rappers – 20,279 page views
When someone called the cops
That shit was whack
Luckily for the rappers
Snoop Dogg has their back
82. Ratchet Mom makes kid cry for voting for Trump in school election – 20,334 page views
Little boy cries
Cuz he voted for Trump
That’s cuz his mother
Is a ratchet slugpump
81. He who shall not be named gets our Facebook page shut down for a week – 20,394 page views
When he’s not shoveling his walk
He plays the skinflute
And builds up screenshots
For his massive lawsuit
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