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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
30. Trigglypuff has a name – 36,626 page views
Has Exposed Many A Muff
But none of them compare
To the legend of Trigglypuff
29. Mom of kid who got Harambe killed gets destroyed by the Internet – 36,775 page views
When you go to the zoo
And your son’s a bad hombre
He may find himself
Face to face with Harambe
28. Bay Path girls say they almost died from brownies they didn’t know had weed in them – 37,563 page views
When you eat pot brownies
And you start geeking out
You say you almost died
But you’re really just burnt out
27. GoFundMe birthday scam foiled by legendary mugshots – 38,270 page views
A 29 year old woman
Wants a GoFundMe birthday
But these mugshots weren’t kind
To Ashley Auger
26. Infamous Plymouth ratchets get busted by Turtlegirl – 38,628 page views
When your lies get exposed
And start to unfurl
You end up getting exposed
By SS turtlegirl
25. Southbridge ratchet tries burning down Sturbridge Wal-Mart 39,566 page views
When you stand next to propane
And you unleash a fart
And you start a fire
And burn down Wal-Mart
24. David Njuguna’s Facebook page is full of confessions – 39,783 page views
Thinks life is a party
Why couldn’t he die
Instead of Trooper Clardy?
23. Worcester summed up in one picture – 40,000 page views
When you look at this picture
You might think it’s funny
But don’t cross a Woo chick
And her sexy snow bunny
22. 40,391 page views
You can speed all you want
In your little hybrid car
Rules don’t apply to you
Cuz you’re a fake movie star
21. Woman leaves negative review for Mac’s Diner and gets annihilated by her waitress – 42,763 page views
Leave a bad review for Mac’s
And you think it will pass
Until your waitress shows up
With a side dish of sass
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