The 2017 Turtleboy Naughty List #20-11
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Merry Christmas Turtle Riders!! For a special Christmas treat we’re counting down the 100 naughtiest Turtleboy famous slugpumps, fupasloths, and cheesehogs from 2017. Here’s #20-11
Generally it is frowned upon when you are a first responder and you go on the world’s most highly trafficked social media site and call the reigning Super Bowl Champs a bunch of “porch monkeys.” That’ll put you in timeout.
Naughty married firefighters in the Icky can’t help but get a little sticky. She’d say me too, but I’m pretty sure they all enjoyed themselves thoroughly.
Don’t be surprised if your weekend trip to a tiki torch white nationalist parade ends up with you in the unemployment line. Or even worse – on Turtleboy.
This waddling heart attack is such a hardo because he owns guns that he felt threatened by a harmless golden retriever who was on his property without a leash to the point where he needed to murder the dog.
Sex on the beach is one thing. Sex in the ocean in front of hundreds of children at 1 PM is something completely different. The best part? The lifeguards could not break them up and they had to bust out the jaws of life.
Not sure who was naughtier in this situation – Clyde the wheelchair bound blowee, or Renee Sturgeon, who has reached the point in life where she’s handing out knobjobs to dudes in wheelchairs in dowtown New Bedford for heroin.
14. Quincy Savages
I don’t care how old they are – they all need to go to jail. Just a vicious and terrible assault in which six were arrested after we blogged about a group of shitheads beating up four kids who refused to hit back.
This is why people leave teaching and coaching. Because loser parents of loser kids complain that their state championship coach doesn’t know what she’s doing.
The most infamous panhandler in all of New England. It takes a special kind of talent to fall asleep while standing up with a medium iced coffee in your gerber servers. Don’t be fooled by her or her maggot boyfriend’s signs though – they don’t have any kids. Thank God.
11. Mary Louise Hill
Cheating on your boyfriend by banging your drug dealer for free heroin is naughty as hell. But when your boyfriend walks in midthrust and you tell him that you’re being raped and he ends up murdering the drug dealer, you’re going straight to Hell. Just sayin.