Turtleboy Justice Identifies MBTA Hooligans, Dante Comparetto Goes In The Turtleboy Graveyard, New Lawsuit
This episode of Uncle Turtleboy’s late night garage podcast is brought to you by our newest advertiser Beard Justice…
Misogynist Jeremey Comeau And Mass Democratic Party Twitter Account Accuse 16 Year Old Girl Of Being Bigoted Because She Doesn’t Like Losing To Boys In Track
Last week we published a blog about Selina Soule, a Glastonbury High School junior who bravely came forward and…
Holliston Hoobaskank Loses Her Shit When She Sees Blue Lives Matter Flag In Town, Summons Didi Delgado And Dumb Woke White Women To Kiss Her Ass
This is Francesca Douyon from the mean streets of Holliston. Apparently blue lives matter signs have been hung up in…
Here Are The 5 Scrotum Poles The MBTA Are Looking For In Connection With The Vicious 5 on 1 Beating In Quincy
Yesterday we asked for the assistance of turtle riders to help identify the 5 scrotum poles who kicked the…
Dumb White Guilt Laden Milton People Blindly Believe Woman Who Names And Smears Well Respected Officer For Nearly Killing Her 14 Year Old Son
This is Milton Police K-9 Officer Kristen Chipman. She’s been on the force for many years and has earned…
Five Quincy Scrotum Poles Fracture Guys Face On MBTA And We’d Love To Make Them Turtleboy Famous
After the Bruins Game 1 victory of the Hurricanes last week some hooligans did what they do this time…
Momma Dindu Whines On The News Because Her Bratty Crotch Fruit Is Suspended For Assaulting Principal Of Gardner Alternative School Who Was Restraining His Friend
We got another viral video of a dindu nuffin teenager from an alternative school whining about being restrained for…
Yarmouth Schizo Hippie Arrested For Killing Hiker On Appalachian Trail Announced He Was Going To Kill Someone In April Facebook Post And His Hippie Friends Did Nothing
ABC: Chilling new details have emerged detailing how a Massachusetts man allegedly attacked a pair of hikers with a machete on the…
Upping The Internet Panhandling Game: Sleazy Skankatron Needs $500 For “Life Or Death” Situation She Cannot Disclose Because It Obviously Does Not Exist
The internet is rife with bullshit sob-story fundraisers created by lazy, entitled slags. There is a preternatural abundance of victims…
State Police Are Still Pimping Out Disgraced Drunken Trooper Angela Guerrera As A Diversity Recruiting Tool On Social Media, Juror Emails Turtleboy And Says She Changed Her Mind
I’ve been been slacking on the story I began last month about former State Trooper Robert Sundberg’s recent rape conviction…
The Whitinsville Crack Donkey Responded To Turtleboy Blog By Posting Selfies From Meeting With Caseworkers On Facebook Against Their Will
Earlier today I published this blog about a crack donkey from Whitinsville who was threatening to merk her DCF caseworker after…
Section 8 Stuffed Clam Isn’t Happy People Are Assuming Her Arrest In Tewksbury For Selling Fentanyl Means She’s A Drug Dealer
WHDH: A drug investigation in Tewksbury led to the arrests of three suspects and the seizure of 14 grams of…
Whitinsville Crack Donkey Says She’s Killing DCF Caseworker Who Done Stole Her 4 Crotch Fruits, Also Feelin Cute, Might Go To Worcester To Murder More People
This is Sheranda Toney from Whitinsville. She lists herself as a CNA. So you know this is gonna be…
Beckiest Becky Who Ever Beckied Cries Racism After Her Adopted Drunken Son Gets Kicked Out Of School Event, Urinates In Public, Assaults A Cop, Runs Into Traffic
WTNH: A rally was held on Saturday in response to an incident involving a Black college student and Fairfield Police….
Providence Penitoris Brags About Getting High On Lunch Break While Working At Hospital On Snapchat
I have no idea how Snapface works and I don’t waste time on it because I’m old enough to…
Chris Martin Is A Homeless Unemployed Assmunch Who Doesn’t Wake Up At 4 AM, Never Had Anything Stolen From Him, And Has Been Arrested For Stealing From Others
I’ve never been taken to task by angry turtle riders than I was after I published this blog because I didn’t…
Turtleboy Murdered Dante Comparetto’s Soul: Disgraced Junkbox Says He’s Quitting School Committee, Calls “White Teachers Union” Racist, Because Superintendent Maureen Binienda Got A New Contract
The ragtag patrol in Worcester is having a meltdown because their campaign to destroy and fire overly qualified superintendent…
Wokey Pokey Virtue Signals Outrage About “Disgusting” White Cops Working Detail At Bruins Game, Gets Ratioed Harder Than A Stripper On A Conjugal Visit
This is Michal Zahler from Boston. She currently works for Oxfam, a multi-million dollar SJW non-profit that employs trust…
The Alleged Teenage Bike Thief Who Was Forced To Roll In the Mud And Assaulted By A Junkie Did An Interview With Me, And I Think He’s Completely Innocent
I invited Zach, the kid who was forced to roll around in the mud and was then assaulted by a…
Who Should Be This Year’s Ratchet Madness Champion – Franklin Baxley Or Rian Waters?
I apologize for the delay in Ratchet Madness, but voting is finally completed in the Final 4, and we…
