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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
10. Brockton chick with no tipping policy – 54,396 page views
The waitress who gets her
Is probably gonna flip
Cuz dumpster slugs like this
Don’t like to tip
9. The Ware Vibrator Bandits are identified – 55,887 page views
These ratchets from Ware
Needed a dildo for jerking
Cuz the guy with the chinstrap
Has a dick that’s not working
Three Of Ware’s Finest Rob West Springfield CVS Of KY Lube And Vibrators For Wild Night In The 413
8. The people who lied about the Orange FD not saving two deceased girls also faked a pregnancy – 60,900 page views
Although we can assume
That the clambox was loose
We can all rest easier
Since they won’t reproduce
7. Legendary Auburn Mall gravy dumpster donnybrook – 73,508 page views
Santa was watching
All this gyrating blubber
Unfortunately for us
They don’t like to use rubbers
6. Cop killer’s twin brother is dating the daughter of a Judge (Trashley LosapiHo) who was previously investigated for giving up state’s witnesses to gangsters – 106,761 page views
A cop killer’s brother
Is a judge’s daughter’s hubby
Giancarlo takes her jogging
Cuz he don’t like em chubby
5. Some guy jumped from the 3rd floor of the courthouse – 112,367 page views
Judge says to tuck shirt in
Guy says “fuck that”
He thought he could fly
But he really went splat
Some Guy Just Jumped From The Third Floor Of Worcester Courthouse
4. Mel Taylor’s trashbag daughter starts fight at Cranston Carnival, so he sent a lynch mob after the guy she attacked – 137,069 page views
Turns out his daughter
Should be the defendant
Only a matter of time
Till she comes home pregnant
3. Turtleboy identifies Ron Tarentino’s murderer – 147,308 page views
Turtleboy reveals the killer
Put a bounty on his head
A few hours later
This trashbag was dead
These Are The People Who Owned The Car Driven By Auburn Cop’s Murderer
2. Plus-sized model celebrates the death of five Dallas cops – 197,005 page views
Public humiliation
For this stupid brat
When they say plus sized model
They really mean fat
1. Failed actress complains about that time Trooper Clardy made her late to her 30th birthday party – 224,954 page views
Her boss fired her
And soon she was squaling
That’s what you get
For having mixed feelings
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31 Comment(s)
This in no joke . You filthy preverts will face court wrath soon! I know what court is like as I murdered another human being and have spent most of my adult life as a convicted murderer! I’m court savvy!! SAVVY!
Kevin… Please stop contacting me in regard to internet lawsuits… You’re a fucking retard. If only you hadn’t murdered that poor young man, You could have almost made something of yourself. Now you’re a convicted leeching member of society who spends all day finding ways to be offended by words. Get over yourself. In other news, I have procured a new client.
A member of your close family that has proof that you did unspeakable things to an underage person in the family.. The office will be in touch soon! Toodelooo Fuck stik!
Matthew Pervier, Brett Killoran and Brian Daoust will be co-defendants this week.
You 3 crossed the line way too many times and I kept telling you to stop your pedophile ways.
Finally get to meet you freaks. Aiden Kearney has it coming as well as owner and operator of turtlebitch blog
Shut up.. You stink of Vaseline and ya mothers basement.
Your lines are about as meaningful as 0bama’s red lines…PUSSY!
This week??? Who do you know at internet court to get a court date that quickly? You must be the cream of the crop, top dog. Keep on being crazy, Kevin!!
It is on. Turtleboy will now have real deal civil action to blog about. Coming for you freaks. Criminal charges are coming also.
How many Monday’s are they going to have to wait on said civil suit?
Kevin, it’s me, your conscience. I know we haven’t talked in a long time. Ever actually. If we had, you’d have hung yourself in prison for killing Andy. I really can’t stand being inside your empty melon, it’s so lonely here. Well, except for your murderous impulses, raging anger and tendencies towards relative humidity, if ya know what I mean. Anywho, just thought I pop out and ask you to self correct, you ginger haired fuck knob. You’re much too dangerous to have a gun. Why not go out and take a nap on Route 2 at midnight on a Friday?
Fuck you
Hey KEVIN LYNCH, you are a loser and we all know you touch you underage relatives ! Your a pervert and child molester. You should be shot in the face for touching babies. Come on out of the basement and let’s see you defend yourself. Little bitch .
Emily told me what you did to her Va-Jay-Jay and that’s gross . 10 years old dude, really ? You touched a 10years old ? Disgusting fuck. Hey turtleboy is still up so we will just call that ANOTHER of your many many failures !
I will smash all your chicklets into your lungs for disrespecting my family like you just did.
Bringing minor children into turtleboy stories???
You may get what you want you pos.
It’s the New Year Kevin and the page is still up! You lied yet again! Nothing new to you though.
Hey Kevin, I called you out ! Yet your still home typing as fast as those child molesting fingers will let you type, you are gods version of a JOKE. We all know what you did to the poor little girl and one of your family members has told us everything. She also said this isn’t your first time or second – is that how you became a pro molester ? Admit your mistakes here and now and the pain you get will be a tiny bit less . Your family ALSO told me/us you have had MULTIPLE encounters with men down on Portland st I’m Worcester . Why Kevin Lynch WHY ?????????????
You are a fat lard of OBAMA shit and your nothing better than that. NOW, what the fuck you gonna do BITCH
What’s happening with Trashley and the judge? Hopefully turtleriders are keeping tabs on them.
Happy new Year son! Here’s hoping I die ASAP! Can’t live through another year of you basement dwelling in my house! Emily texted me that she’s very uncomfortable with your relentless inquiries of pics of her male friends… God Bless you son.. I hope you fing peace this year.
It is 11:18pm and as I promised Turtlebitch would be suspended by New Years.
This is the beginning as 2017 will bring the Turtleboy down in the disgrace they earned.
We the people will shut this mother fucker down.
We have had enough of Turtlebitches and their little demon riders. We have watched you over and over poke fun at those individuals sufferring with mental illness. We have watched you people attack the homeless and economically struggling over and over.
You people are spineless hipocrites. You have unlawfully threatened sexual assault of minor children in my family. Step forward in such threats and you and your conspirators will lay slain.
You, have stepped over the line Turtleboy and now are all done. Stay away from my family or pay serious consequences. I told you in the beginning that you fucked with the wrong guy.
Happy New Year Turtlebitches.
Oh Kevy you have been up to no good. Posting on the Telegram, The Sentinal and Worcester Magazine. You are unbelievable.
Is that the royal “we” you’re using there Kevin?? Or is it you and the multiple voice in your head? How much time a day do you spend on this site?? I mean don’t stop because obviously its hilarious to everyone who loves this blog.
Hi Kevin I really liked your post. It’s always nice having new girls on my blog. Do you want to get a private chatroom sometime?
And then you have to give yourself 6 thumbs up? How fucking desperate are you?
Yeah…and on Dec 31, 2017 your posts will be claiming how you’re gonna have Turtleboy shut down before 2018. YADA YADA YADA.
It is 1:23 pm on New Year’s Day and as we all knew would be the case, Turtleboy is not suspended. Your niece is not a minor, she was born in 1996. It’s 2017. Do the math. You’re insane, not retarded. You went to jail for murder. You were arrested for assaulting and stalking a police officer. You’ve been ranting and raving online for years and years, most recently about Turtleboy, and none of it has resulted in any arrests, lawsuits, or anything that you promise. Everything you say is pure nonsense. Everything you just read are facts.
The only way anyone is getting slain is if you get your hands on a 9 iron.
Fuck off, you burg redneck. Bring it on, motherfucker! Turtleriders RULE, you piece of white trash.
Tick Tock Tick Tock…. It’s February 22, 2017 and the turtle is almost 50K strong. …
Before my crazy murdering childpeeping uncle comes ranting, I just wanted to say that I’m 19, and love the cock!!!!
Xoxo
Wear something slutty for me. I’ll be home late.
This is what Aiden, Matty Mo, Brett and other pos turtleriders have caused.
My niece is a minor. Turtleboy had her face and name blasted all over facebook for sex offenders to see.
He legitimized the threat that Maty Pervier, Brett Killoran began and Aiden allowed to be published on his blog.
I contacted everyone of them, authorities to remove these peoples post.
Turtleboy is an unlawful social media site and will be shut down for good in 2017.
Why just the other day you were bragging that Turtleboy would be shut down before New Years….what was that word you used…GUARANTEED. Just shows you’re full of empty promises and a lot of hot air, probably from being dutch ovened while sucking dicks under the covers.
Murderer says what?