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Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all. 

Happy Most Confusing Day in Lawrence Day – AKA “which one y’all forgot to send that child support day?” For tonight’s episode of Turtleboy Live we have three baby daddies for you – Uncle Turtleboy, Brett Killoran, and Matty Mo. We will be broadcasting at 9:30 from the Clarence Woods Emerson fan page which you can follow by clicking here. Seriously, follow Clarence, it’s better than the regular pages because Facebook algorithms give priority to personal pages, and Clarence posts always get way more interaction than our community pages.

As usual, anyone featured in a Turtleboy blog this week that wants to give us a piece of their mind, or tell their side of the story, is more than welcome to call in by adding Uncle Turtleboy on Skype. This includes Lynch, Chris Caesar, or the Stoughton sext messager.  You can literally say anything. No rules. You won’t do it.

Don’t forget to bring your ratchet Bingo cards, because here’s what’s on the agenda:

Worcester’s Finest Coke Dealing, Chair Throwing, Account Sharing Deep Fried Crotch Nuggets Defend Shitheads Who Got Punched After Assaulting Cops And Resisting Arrest

Stoughton Salami Slinger Offering Half The Women On The South Shore Money, Free Rent, And Lube Jobs If They Take A Ride On His Spam Javelin, Then Calls Them Drug Addicted Crackwhores When They Turn Him Down

Fien Laqueefa Goes Full Crackopotamus On Boston Police For Being In Murder Central JP Projects, Claims To Be A Lawyer Who Wants To Do Her Homework, Says She Reps Jesus In Most Ratchet Video Of All Time

Boy Who Competed In Boy’s Winter Track Becomes A Girl, Wins 2 Connecticut State Track Championships, Smashes State Records, Alters Team State Champion, Because….Progress

Meet Slop Queef #2: Rockelle “Rocky” Gardner, Who Shares A Piss Corner With Her Hog Gobblin Mom/Ratchet In Crime Sherry Gardner

Speech Nazi Bob Murchison Has Been Emailing And Harassing WEEI’s Kirk & Callahan Advertisers For Months And Here’s The Insane Things He’s Demanding From Them

Grafton High School Teacher Under Fire For Sending Noodz To Senior Who Just Graduated, Didn’t See Anything Wrong With It, And I Kind Of Feel Bad For Her

Skag Who Provoked Vicious Red Line Assault By Lying About Upskirting Gave The Most Insane Interview On The News, Tells Reporter He’s A Creep Too For Pointing Out The Victim Has Broken Ribs

“Reformed” Killer Kevin Lynch Was Arrested Again For Disorderly Conduct And Resisting Arrest, Because People Who Murder Other People Cannot Be Fixed