Turtleboy

Worcester Renaissance Continues: Ratchet Rugby Scrum For The Last Crack Rock Blocks Traffic At Worst Red Light In Worcester As Phillip Seymour Slothman Crawls To Junkie Freedom

Uncle Turtleboy / November 6, 2018

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Turtleboy Investigates

I Could Pick Any Person I Want To And Vote In Their Place Because Our Elections Are A Joke, My Grandmother Is Running The Polls, And Voter ID Laws Are Racist

Uncle Turtleboy / November 6, 2018

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Politics

The “Geoff Diehl Has A Shot” People Are So Stupid They Are Going To Make My Goddamn Head Explode

Uncle Turtleboy / November 6, 2018

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Politics

Introducing The 2018 Turtleboy Ticket, Please Write In Turtleboy For Governor, Blake Rubin, Tracy Lovvorn, Jay McMahon, John Cruz, And All These Other People

Uncle Turtleboy / November 5, 2018

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Politics

Governor’s Council Candidate Dan Depalo Wants More Judges Who Will Keep Criminals Out Of Jail, So Please Vote For Jen Caissie Because She’s Normal

Uncle Turtleboy / November 5, 2018

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Hoodrat Heroes

Turkey Chub Slamwich Arrested For Robbing Mom’s House During Mom’s Funeral Gets Out Of Jail And Unleashes On Turtleboy’s Facebook Page, Claims Mom Wasn’t At Funeral Either

Uncle Turtleboy / November 5, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

Woonsocket Womb Raider Holds Up Convenience Store With Girlfriend’s 12 Year Old Brother, Whose Mother Got A 12 Year Old Girl Drunk So Her ChudStuffer Boyfriend Could Rape Her In The Shower, Because Woonsocket Is The Crown Jewel Of New England’s Salty Armpit

Uncle Turtleboy / November 5, 2018

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Woonsocket Womb Raider Holds Up Convenience Store With Girlfriend’s 12 Year Old Brother, Whose Mother Got A 12 Year Old…

Turtleboy Investigates

School Choice Shepherd Hill Football Moms Make Fake Twitter Account To Smear Their Kid’s Coach, One Left Bartlett After Trying To Get Basketball Coach Fired, Now Claim Teachers Are Bullying Them Too

Uncle Turtleboy / November 5, 2018

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Hoodrat Heroes

Woonsocket RIPTA Rascal Vows To Kill Whoever Put This AIDS Filled Sewing Needle In His Kid’s Now And Later After Trick Or Treating In Cumberland

Uncle Turtleboy / November 4, 2018

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Podcasts

Douchequeef Who Told Billerica Girls To Smack Bullying Victim In Locker Room For Following Him On IG Calls Into Turtleboy Live To Blame The Victim And Fight Bret Killoran

Uncle Turtleboy / November 4, 2018

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Smiles And Sunshine

Billerica, Marshfield, Shepherd Hill, Firefighter’s Union, Apple Daddy And Trick Or Treatin Are On The Agenda For Turtleboy Live Tonight

Uncle Turtleboy / November 3, 2018

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Turtleboy Investigates

Turtlegram And Gazette Runs Hit Piece On Well-Liked, Successful Shepherd Hill Football Coach After Whiny Parents Complained He Said Mean Things During Practice

Uncle Turtleboy / November 2, 2018

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Nudniks

We Are Sick And Tired Of The Pumpkin Spice Mafia’s Lies And Attention Seeking Bullshit, Perhaps Y’all Really DO Need Jesus

Uncle Turtleboy / November 2, 2018

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Turtleboy Investigates

Marshfield BLT-123 Says Her Boston Cop Sister Found Needle In Her Kid’s Halloween Twizzlers, Except Her Sister’s Not A Cop And The Whole Thing Was A Viral Hoax From New York Last Year

Uncle Turtleboy / November 2, 2018

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Nudniks

The MSM Stole Another Story From Us, But I’m Actually Not That Mad, Because Mike Cadena Is Losing His Mind, And Making Up Internet Lawsuits Like Every Other Ratchet We Expose

Uncle Turtleboy / November 2, 2018

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The MSM Stole Another Story From Us, But I’m Actually Not That Mad, Because Mike Cadena Is Losing His Mind,…

Hoodrat Heroes

Rockland Sex Scandal Is Back: Bobbin For Boners Might’ve Given Town Manager Allan Chiocca A $5.6 Million Slobjob To Get Revenge On Eddie Porkchops’ Wife

Uncle Turtleboy / November 2, 2018

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Politics

Just When You Thought The Professional Firefighter’s Of Massachusetts Couldn’t Get Any Lower They Endorse Michelle Dubois, Who Urged Brockton Resident Not To Open Doors For First Responders

Uncle Turtleboy / November 1, 2018

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WTF

If Your Kids Go Trick Or Treating In Pepperell Dressed As Trump And A Mexican Jumping Over A Wall, Don’t Be Surprised When They Get Shitty Candy

Uncle Turtleboy / November 1, 2018

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Worcester Renaissance Continues: Ratchet Rugby Scrum For The Last Crack Rock Blocks Traffic At Worst Red Light In Worcester As Phillip Seymour Slothman Crawls To Junkie Freedom

I Could Pick Any Person I Want To And Vote In Their Place Because Our Elections Are A Joke, My Grandmother Is Running The Polls, And Voter ID Laws Are Racist

The “Geoff Diehl Has A Shot” People Are So Stupid They Are Going To Make My Goddamn Head Explode

Introducing The 2018 Turtleboy Ticket, Please Write In Turtleboy For Governor, Blake Rubin, Tracy Lovvorn, Jay McMahon, John Cruz, And All These Other People

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Governor’s Council Candidate Dan Depalo Wants More Judges Who Will Keep Criminals Out Of Jail, So Please Vote For Jen Caissie Because She’s Normal

Turkey Chub Slamwich Arrested For Robbing Mom’s House During Mom’s Funeral Gets Out Of Jail And Unleashes On Turtleboy’s Facebook Page, Claims Mom Wasn’t At Funeral Either

Woonsocket Womb Raider Holds Up Convenience Store With Girlfriend’s 12 Year Old Brother, Whose Mother Got A 12 Year Old Girl Drunk So Her ChudStuffer Boyfriend Could Rape Her In The Shower, Because Woonsocket Is The Crown Jewel Of New England’s Salty Armpit

School Choice Shepherd Hill Football Moms Make Fake Twitter Account To Smear Their Kid’s Coach, One Left Bartlett After Trying To Get Basketball Coach Fired, Now Claim Teachers Are Bullying Them Too

Woonsocket RIPTA Rascal Vows To Kill Whoever Put This AIDS Filled Sewing Needle In His Kid’s Now And Later After Trick Or Treating In Cumberland

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Douchequeef Who Told Billerica Girls To Smack Bullying Victim In Locker Room For Following Him On IG Calls Into Turtleboy Live To Blame The Victim And Fight Bret Killoran

Billerica, Marshfield, Shepherd Hill, Firefighter’s Union, Apple Daddy And Trick Or Treatin Are On The Agenda For Turtleboy Live Tonight

Turtlegram And Gazette Runs Hit Piece On Well-Liked, Successful Shepherd Hill Football Coach After Whiny Parents Complained He Said Mean Things During Practice

We Are Sick And Tired Of The Pumpkin Spice Mafia’s Lies And Attention Seeking Bullshit, Perhaps Y’all Really DO Need Jesus

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Marshfield BLT-123 Says Her Boston Cop Sister Found Needle In Her Kid’s Halloween Twizzlers, Except Her Sister’s Not A Cop And The Whole Thing Was A Viral Hoax From New York Last Year

The MSM Stole Another Story From Us, But I’m Actually Not That Mad, Because Mike Cadena Is Losing His Mind, And Making Up Internet Lawsuits Like Every Other Ratchet We Expose

Rockland Sex Scandal Is Back: Bobbin For Boners Might’ve Given Town Manager Allan Chiocca A $5.6 Million Slobjob To Get Revenge On Eddie Porkchops’ Wife

Just When You Thought The Professional Firefighter’s Of Massachusetts Couldn’t Get Any Lower They Endorse Michelle Dubois, Who Urged Brockton Resident Not To Open Doors For First Responders

If Your Kids Go Trick Or Treating In Pepperell Dressed As Trump And A Mexican Jumping Over A Wall, Don’t Be Surprised When They Get Shitty Candy

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