Turtleboy

WTF

Fitchburg Had An Easter Egg Drop And It Went Smoothly, Just Kidding, It Turned Into The Mogadishu Moshpit We All Knew It Would Be

Uncle Turtleboy / March 26, 2018

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Podcasts

Uncle Turtleboy Talks Hogg, Facebook, Guns With Kyle Reyes, CEO Of Silent Partner Marketing And Inventor Of The Snowflake Test

Uncle Turtleboy / March 26, 2018

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Hoodrat Heroes

Queen City Queeflatifah Starts GoFundMe To Find Missing Fugitive Husband In NYC, Turns Out He Was Just Skipping Court Again

Uncle Turtleboy / March 26, 2018

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Politics

David Hogg And Students Leading March For Our Lives Are Dumbass Teenagers And I Won’t Pretend They’re Enlightened Or Brave Because You Say I Have To

Uncle Turtleboy / March 26, 2018

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Hoodrat Heroes

Drug Dealing Kingston Mother Of 3 Who Just Shot A Tax Credit Out Of Her Baby Cannon Starts GoFundMe For New Teeth Because She Likes To Smile

Uncle Turtleboy / March 26, 2018

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Podcasts

Turtleboy Live Featuring Merrimack Valley Turtlebae And A Never Ending Source Of Material

Uncle Turtleboy / March 26, 2018

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Hoodrat Heroes

Somerset Slambox And Douche Donkey Post Video Of Themselves Fighting Grandparents They’re Living With On Threw Up In Fall River, Challenge All The Haters To Exchange Fisticuffs

Uncle Turtleboy / March 26, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

87 Year Old Savage Busted In Worcester Main South Hooker Sting With 18 Year Old And Randomest Crew Of Poontang Deprived Meat Monsters

Uncle Turtleboy / March 24, 2018

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WTF

If This Middleboro Thai Massage Parlor Isn’t A Rub And Tug They Should Probably Reconsider Their Marketing Strategy

Uncle Turtleboy / March 24, 2018

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Turtleboy Tryout

Merrimack Meth Monkeys Get Busted With Drugs After Wisely Setting Off Fire Alarm In Hotel Room

Uncle Turtleboy / March 24, 2018

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Smiles And Sunshine

Make Sure You’re Following Clarence Woods Emerson For Our Facebook Live Show Featuring Mommygyver Tonight At 10 PM

Uncle Turtleboy / March 24, 2018

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Smiles And Sunshine

Last Night Turtleboy Was Honored To Accept The Valley Patriot’s First Amendment Award For Our Tireless Defense Of Free Speech And Demanding Accountability

Uncle Turtleboy / March 24, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

Gronk’s Hardo Entourage Doppleganger Roommate Is On The War Path Looking For These Cock Biscuits Who Robbed Their Home During The Super Bowl

Uncle Turtleboy / March 23, 2018

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Smiles And Sunshine

That Time Of The Year: Turtleboy Is Nominated For Best Local News Source And We Like To Think We Have Earned Your Vote

Uncle Turtleboy / March 23, 2018

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Podcasts

Ratchet Madness Preview Podcast: Random Turtle Rider And Uncle Turtleboy Discuss Who Will Be Dominating This Year’s Bracket

Uncle Turtleboy / March 23, 2018

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Hoodrat Heroes

Fitchburg’s Finest Rush To Defend Honor Of Heroin Dealing Rapper/Barber Busted With $600K In Drugs In New Jersey

Western Mass Turtlegirl / March 23, 2018

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Nudniks

Brockton Hub Is On Fire After Most Despised Commenter Of All Time Turns Out To Be State Police Dispatcher Who Attacked Grieving Father After Son Died And Posted Classified Evidence

Uncle Turtleboy / March 23, 2018

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Reader Emails

Turns Out The Person Leigha Genduso Illegally Ran 3 Background Checks On Was Her Ex-Boyfriend Disgraced Lt. Colonel Dan Risteen

Uncle Turtleboy / March 22, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

Hepatitis Hefalump Uses Rival Skagbag’s Name To Work Her Way Into Cranston Salon In Order To Rob Them, Lost 2 Kids To DCYF For Sexual Abuse

Uncle Turtleboy / March 22, 2018

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Turtleboy Investigates

Leigha Genduso Admitted To Illegally Running Backgrounds On Unnamed Person 3 Times In Same Year Sean Bucci Was Released, Received No Discipline, MSP Refuse To Release Hiring Information

Uncle Turtleboy / March 22, 2018

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Fitchburg Had An Easter Egg Drop And It Went Smoothly, Just Kidding, It Turned Into The Mogadishu Moshpit We All Knew It Would Be

Uncle Turtleboy Talks Hogg, Facebook, Guns With Kyle Reyes, CEO Of Silent Partner Marketing And Inventor Of The Snowflake Test

Queen City Queeflatifah Starts GoFundMe To Find Missing Fugitive Husband In NYC, Turns Out He Was Just Skipping Court Again

David Hogg And Students Leading March For Our Lives Are Dumbass Teenagers And I Won’t Pretend They’re Enlightened Or Brave Because You Say I Have To

Drug Dealing Kingston Mother Of 3 Who Just Shot A Tax Credit Out Of Her Baby Cannon Starts GoFundMe For New Teeth Because She Likes To Smile

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Turtleboy Live Featuring Merrimack Valley Turtlebae And A Never Ending Source Of Material

Somerset Slambox And Douche Donkey Post Video Of Themselves Fighting Grandparents They’re Living With On Threw Up In Fall River, Challenge All The Haters To Exchange Fisticuffs

87 Year Old Savage Busted In Worcester Main South Hooker Sting With 18 Year Old And Randomest Crew Of Poontang Deprived Meat Monsters

If This Middleboro Thai Massage Parlor Isn’t A Rub And Tug They Should Probably Reconsider Their Marketing Strategy

Merrimack Meth Monkeys Get Busted With Drugs After Wisely Setting Off Fire Alarm In Hotel Room

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Make Sure You’re Following Clarence Woods Emerson For Our Facebook Live Show Featuring Mommygyver Tonight At 10 PM

Last Night Turtleboy Was Honored To Accept The Valley Patriot’s First Amendment Award For Our Tireless Defense Of Free Speech And Demanding Accountability

Gronk’s Hardo Entourage Doppleganger Roommate Is On The War Path Looking For These Cock Biscuits Who Robbed Their Home During The Super Bowl

That Time Of The Year: Turtleboy Is Nominated For Best Local News Source And We Like To Think We Have Earned Your Vote

Ratchet Madness Preview Podcast: Random Turtle Rider And Uncle Turtleboy Discuss Who Will Be Dominating This Year’s Bracket

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Fitchburg’s Finest Rush To Defend Honor Of Heroin Dealing Rapper/Barber Busted With $600K In Drugs In New Jersey

Brockton Hub Is On Fire After Most Despised Commenter Of All Time Turns Out To Be State Police Dispatcher Who Attacked Grieving Father After Son Died And Posted Classified Evidence

Turns Out The Person Leigha Genduso Illegally Ran 3 Background Checks On Was Her Ex-Boyfriend Disgraced Lt. Colonel Dan Risteen

Hepatitis Hefalump Uses Rival Skagbag’s Name To Work Her Way Into Cranston Salon In Order To Rob Them, Lost 2 Kids To DCYF For Sexual Abuse

Leigha Genduso Admitted To Illegally Running Backgrounds On Unnamed Person 3 Times In Same Year Sean Bucci Was Released, Received No Discipline, MSP Refuse To Release Hiring Information

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