Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy’s Top 100 Most Popular Blogs Of The Year: #60-51

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Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.





What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.

So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.

  • We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
  • We were the first to announce when he was killed.
  • We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
  • We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
  • We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.

We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.

With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……

60. Spencer chick tries cutting off her boyfriend’s nuts in a motel room they didn’t pay for – 23,964 page views 

When you date a chick like this

It takes a lot of guts

Cuz the second you’re naughty

She’ll cut off your nuts


Does This Look Like A Spencer Chick Who Was Arrested For Cutting Her Boyfriend’s Balls In A Sturbridge Motel Room They Were Squatting In?


59. Smoking hot teacher bangs 13 year old student – 24,003 page views

If you’re banging a student

One thing is certain

There’s plenty of room

Behind the beef curtain


Bet You Anything The 13 Year Old Who Knocked Up Jr. Smokeshow 24 Year Old Teacher Is An Undocumented Immigrant


58. Brockton woman beats dog until it pisses on the floor – 24,351 page views

She beats the dog

Till it pisses the floor

Nothing is too low

For this Brockton four

Brockton Ratchet Recorded Beating Dog With Broom On Video Until It Pisses Itself, “Her Man” Says It’s Illegal To Share The Video And They Have Hired A Lawyer!


57. Ware asshole celebrates the deaths of Pulse nightclub shooting victims – 24,512 page views

Nothing is too low

For a Ware guter rat

You know he’s an asshole

Cuz of the Chicago Bulls hat


TB Hall Of Shame Inductee: Kevin Blackmer From Ware Is Happy That 49 Gay People Were Killed In Orlando



56.  David Prouty teacher suspended 30 days without pay for raising money for a kid’s mother with cancer – 24,751 page views

A teacher was suspended 

For helping Mom with cancer

So we overthrew Hayes

Cuz that was the answer

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David Prouty Math Teacher Suspended 30 Days Without Pay Right Before MCAS For Buying Gift For Parent With Cancer



55. Water Street has turned into a World Star hip-hop breeding ground – 25,472 page views

Dudes yellin “we live”

With skanks in stilletos

When did Water Street

Get so damn ghetto?


These World Star Calibar Water Street Fights Are The Reason Why Turtleboy Doesn’t Miss Going Out On Friday Nights Anymore


54. Jorge Zambrano’s slampig gets her pitbull back – 25,659 page views

Nothing is too low

For this vile skank

Which is why she bangs gangstas

Cuz she’s a sperm bank

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Jorge Zambrano’s Enabling Girlfriend Heather Philip Got His Pit Bull Back – How Is She Not In Jail?


53. Kevin Hayes tells a kid to shut up – 25,765 page views

Kevin Hayes

Is the ultimate villain

If he had an infection

I’d steal his penicillin 


Crowd Loses Its Mind When Kevin Hayes Silences A David Prouty Student Who Tried To Speak At School Committee Meeting



52. Plymouth clam announces that she stole a pizza – 26,687 page views

When you order a pizza

No one likes waiting

This chick made a bad choice

There can be no debating

Entitled Plymouth Clam Steals Pizza From Papa Gino’s Delivery Boy In Front Of Child, Brags About It, Gets Called Out By Delivery Boy On Facebook



51. Welfare rapper brags about using EBT at steakhouse – 26,879 page views

When it comes to prose

He’s no Voltaire

He pays for steak dinners

With never ending welfare

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Unemployed Worcester Rapper Using EBT Card At Boston Steak House And Driving BMW Proves That The Working Man And Jim McGovern Are Suckers




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4 Comment(s)
  • Emily Lynch
    December 30, 2016 at 11:51 am

    Uncle Kevin just STOP!!!!
    You’re putting a target on your back, and on Cedar street!
    And please stop pm-ing my teenage guy friends on my friends list on Facebook..
    Mike said you offered him $50 to get him to send you underwear he shit in?!!
    No wonder our family hates you….

    • Wabbitt
      December 31, 2016 at 10:31 am

      Come back to bed, babygirl.

    December 30, 2016 at 11:15 am

    You will never make it till new years. GAME OVER FOR TURTLEBITCHES.

    You will not be able to harrass people from Facebook no longer.

    • You
      April 5, 2017 at 7:02 am

      BUT HE DID

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