This might be the dumbest reader email I’ve ever gotten. Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for…
Pat Kelsey Can Suck My Fupasloth: Leaves Job As UMass Basketball Coach 2 Days After Signing Contract, Makes Up Lie…
Guy In Red Sweater Desperately Wants To Die While Old Northampton Hippie Sings Song At Ware Meeting About Quabbin’s Rattlesnake…
The Worcester License Commission Gave Out Liquor Licenses To A Convicted Drug Dealer Spending Millions Of Dollars Because Apparently No…
The Fall River Guttermuppet is BACK AGAIN and this time selling broken electronics to people who’ve never read Turtleboy. Want…
If Could Be Worse: You Could Be Crushed To Death By This 7/11 Sign While Scratching Lotto Tickets In Your…
16 Year Old Dudley Student Goes To 18 Year Old Dudley Student’s House To Fight Him, Gets His Ass Beat, Now…
The smartest thing you can do when, you’ve been released from jail, for trying to burn down Walmart, is message…
Meet Keith Bezio: Greenfield Chud Who Thinks He’s In An Interracial Relationship And Texts Turtleboy Associates With Passive-Aggressive Threats Want to…
Do NOT Call This Phone Number: 413-325-1764 Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and…
If Lavar Ball Was My Father I’d Join The Ballet Just So He Would Kill Himself Want to advertise with…
Turtleboy Live With Feisty Turtle Turned Into Turtleboy And Chill After Debate Over Uncircumcised Penises Tangent Want to advertise with…
Chicken Bacon Ratchet Walks Off Minimum Security Prison Work Detail And Runs To Lawrence, Cops Raid Baby Momma’s Crib Looking…
Ohhhhh you guys are going to LOOOOOVE this one. How many of us have had shitty babysitters? Want to advertise…
Lawrence DNA Sponge Hacks Drug Dealing Sperm Donor’s Facebook Page To Free My Boo After He’s Busted Selling Heroin With…
Stop What You’re Doing And Vote For Turtleboy Sports For Best Local News Outlet In The Worcester Magazine Best Of…
New Hampshire Chudstuffer Announces On Facebook That He’s Out Of Crystal Meth, Asks Friends To Smoke Him Up, Defriends Anyone Who…
North High Students Arrested For Assaulting Vice Principal And Female Teacher During Head Stomping Fight At MCAS Rally As Lisa…
Cops Find EBT Card And A Whole Bunch Of Cocaine In 74 Year Old Taunton Hector Salamanca Wannabe’s Room At…
Otis, Yarmouth, And A Bunch Of Cape Cop, South Shore, And Martha’s Vineyard Police Departments Are Doing High 5 Fridays…
