Deadspin PC Police Keep Huffstool In Business, Rian Waters Files Hilarious Criminal Complaint Against “Unkle Turtleboy”
Barstool Sports completely sold out to PC culture, which ultimately backfired because their content sucks and the PC…
West Springfield White Power Woody Wanker Invited Puerto Ricans And Black People To Call Him So He Can Put Bullet Holes In Them In “I’m Not Racist, But” Facebook Post
This is William Malia from the Agawam/West Springfield area. And for whatever reason he elected to go on Facebook…
Ratchet Madness Champion Rian Waters Filed A Criminal Complaint Against Me, Wrote The Most Amazing After David, Says He Had To Quit His Job Due To Disorder Caused By Listening To Me On Live
I just realized that we never announced who the winner of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness 2019 was. Time for the…
Pantene Proqueef Robs 94 Year Old Woman Outside Lawrence Walgreens After He Never Went To Prison For Selling Heroin In Haverhill
City of Lawrence: At approximately 1:54 PM this afternoon Lawrence Police responded to the Walgreen’s Pharmacy at 220 South…
Fairhaven Police Looking To ID BabyGravy Guzzler Seen Boosting Merchandise From Marshalls Store
From the Fairhaven PD: Just being able to identify if she’s 21 or 55 would be great for starters,…
SJWs Are Losing Their Shit Because Huffstool Sports Sponsored A Bruins Towel, Even Though Huffstool Is Politically Correct, Failed Woonsocket Reporter Recognizes This
Social Justice Warriors on social media are all fired up that the Bruins accepted sponsorship money from Huffstool Sports…
Leicester Laardvark Publicly Shames Shrewsbury Church For Not Giving Her And Charlie Chomper Boyfriend Free Shit Even Though They’re On Food Stamps, Don’t Work, Don’t Live In Shrewsbury, And DCF Fairy Snatched Their Crotch Fruit
This is Stephanie Hebert and her abled bodied boyfriend Chris Berthiaume from Leicester. She attempted to shame a church on…
New Bedford Fupapotamus Abandons Moving Vehicle In Discount Liquor Store Parking Lot To Smash Rival Slugpump In The Head With Bottle Of Henny
New Bedford Live is one of my favorite pages on the Internet. It’s basically one man archiving a collection…
Stoughton Discharge Donkey Targets And Robs Grieving Loved Ones While They’re At Memorial Day Services In Franklin, Wrentham, And Other Towns
There are scumbag criminals, and then there are the Daniel Lennon’s of the world. This is what we’re dealing…
Progress: Dude Wins Women’s Track And Field National Championship
This episode of Uncle Turtleboy’s late night garage podcast is brought to you by our newest advertiser Beard Justice…
Beta Male Boutique Thrift Store Owner Accused Of Racism by Princess Privilege, But A Google Search And Moderate Eyesight Determined He Is Probably Just A Huge DoucheCanoe
Let me introduce you to Cash Jenkins. He appears to own Thrive Exchange, a hipster cesspool located on Newbury Street…
Ginger Beta Male Franklin Pierce Coach Tries To Get Rival Coach Fired For Pointing Out That A Male Athlete Winning A Women’s National Championships Isn’t Fair
In February we became the first media outlet to report that Franklin Pierce’s star male hurdler “transitioned” to becoming…
God Loves Us More Bruins Stanley Cup Finals T-Shirts Are Now Available In The Turtleboy Store
With the St. Louis Blues finishing off the Sharks last night the Stanley Cup Finals are now set to…
Tory Krug Murdering A Man In Cold Blood Is Living Proof That God Loves Us More
I just wanna take a moment to point out how Tory Krug was the living embodiment of the undeniable…
Chloe Ricard’s Killer Carlos “Mago” Rivera Has Been Giving Teen Girls Panties, Booze, And Drugs For Years Now And Every Chick In Lawrence Seems To Know That
Today is the arraignment for Carlos Rivera, the 47 year old Lawrence degenerate who is being charged with two…
Quincy Police Looking For Hanoi Handy After Stealing Mail Outs Herself On Facebook, Brags About Committing Credit Card Fraud
Last week the Quincy Police announced that they were looking for some bootleg Miss Swan mail bandit. Looks like…
Brian Dolan’s Stepson Said The Monster Threw Him Out And He Was Worried About Little Sister Chloe Ricard, Dolan Also Says He Knows Where I Live And Has Lawyered Up
A couple updates from our groundbreaking interview with Brian Dolan, the stepfather of deceased 13 year old Chloe Ricard…
Dorchester Charter School Teacher Makes Up Allegations Of Racism At Boston MFA After No One Donated To Her GoFundMe
Last Monday a charter school teacher from Dorchester name Marvelyne Lamy made a Facebook post alleging racism from the…
Walmart Wookie Monster Keeps Dog In Obvious Distress In Hot Car While She Shops In Walmart, Goes Full White Trash On Concerned Citizens
Blogs at Turtleboy work on a season rotation. November and December are the “I’m a single Mom looking for…
Fall River Rat Trap Queen Encourages Teenage Daughter’s Jr. Hoodbooger Streetside Beat Down In Shining Display Of Responsible Parenting
On today’s episode of “Growing up River Rat”, we have this beloved childhood memory memorialized on film, from New Bedford…
