Lincoln Doggie Diddler Arrested for Taking His Pooch to Poundtown
Now that Backpage.com has shut down, it’s gotten really hard for the less than desirable ones among to get some…
Harry J. Blige Abuses Dog On Video At Pittsfield Common, Gets To Keep It Anyway Despite Animal Cruelty Charges, Goes Full Ratchet On Haters
This is Melinda Alston of Pittsfield. Facebook accurately describes her as a nutcase. Because last week she was seen…
The Connecticut Girls Are Finally Fighting Back And Are Suing SJW Politicians Who Let Boys Beat Them In Track And Field
So this happened…. The girls are finally fighting back against boys who have stolen from them. God bless them,…
BLT-123 Nazis Lose Their Mind On Gay Warwick Cop For Marching In The Rhode Island Pride Parade, He Roasts Them With Kindness
The Rhode Island Pride organization has gone full “fuck duh po-lease” in the most embarrassing way possible. Looks like the…
Ludlow Lardvark Reports A Robbery While Working At Domino’s Pizza, Hours Later Confesses To Setting Up The Whole Thing
This is so Ludlow it hurts, guys. Yesterday, Western Mass News broke this harrowing story of a really real, really…
Worcester Music Festival Promoter Tony Scavone Accused By Many Women Of Serious Allegations Of Sexual Assault After Facebook Post Goes Viral
Dozens of women have come forward alleging sexual harassment and/or sexual assault against Tony Scavone, a well known…
Melrose Nerf Nazi Mom And Killjoy Gestapo Want To Disarm Children At Local Playground Because Someone Might Get Hurt And They Hate Fun
This is Maryanne Stanton, a Melrose mom with a serious message for all of you caretakers to crotch fruit out…
Very Important Woman Says She’s Going To Sue Us If We Write About An Accused Rapist From Worcester Because She’s Appointed Herself In Charge Of Investigating
Over the last few days we’ve gotten a number of messages from turtle riders about a Facebook post that…
A Brockton Love Story: Chinstrap Charlie Gives Jenny Jugs Providence Stripper Her Own Prescription For Suboxone To Help Her Stay Clean, Followed By The Boss Sauce
This is Marilyn Sanchez. Scissor me timbers! She’s a stripper from the Providence area, which is great, because we’re…
Boston Globe Photographer Scott Eisen Makes Up Obvious Lie About Trump Supporter Punching Him, Immediately Meets Karma When His House Burns Down
Meet Boston Globe photographer Scott Eisen. He’s a bad ass with a bootleg Zack Morris haircut. After the Bruins…
Sterling Swamp Cougar Realtor Offers State Trooper $1K And An Alli Bibaud Special To Drop Her Off On Side Of Road After DUI, Tells Him She’s Married To Trooper
This is Sterling realtor Karen Dubovick. She’s 51 years old and does duckface at work events. I think we all…
Salty Slamhog Scores Own Goal By Identifying Portagee Porridge Pumper Fiance On Dartmouth Police Facebook Post Looking For Him, Says He’s Not Turning Himself In Because Dindu Nuffin
The Dartmouth Police put out a APB for a thief today on their always entertaining Facebook page: LOL, “Hans.”…
Bleached Banana Clam Running GoFundMe Scam For Missing Mother Jennifer Dulos Called Me, Says She’s Using Money To Build A Memorial Now, Filing Lawsuit For Deformation And Sexual Harassment
Earlier today SSTG did a blog on Danielle Daigle (turtle name = Bleached Banana Clam), the chick who started…
Bitch Boi Mayor Joe Curtatone Is Suing Kirk Minihane, Barstool Sports Because He’s So Dumb That He Fell For The Cullen In The Tailpipe Fake Interview Routine
Last week we published a blog about Kirk Minihane’s Barstool Sports debut, in which he pretended to be disgraced…
New Bedford Officer Chomo Has Been A Bad Cop Troupe For Years, Once Pepper Sprayed A Guy And Left Him Handcuffed Face Down Until His Heart Stopped Beating
So, it turns out that the New Bedford Police officer currently on paid administrative leave pending federal child pornography charges…
Bleached Banana Clam Uses 7 Year Old Crotch Fruit As Media Bait For GoFundMe Scam To Find Out Who Killed Millionaire Jennifer Dulos
A wealthy mother of 5 from New Canaan, CT named Jennifer Dulos disappeared May 23. Since then her estranged…
If You Really Believe In Free Speech And But Think That Flag Burning Should Be Banned Then You Don’t Really Believe In Free Speech
Over the weekend President Trump tweeted that he wanted congress to amend the constitution in order to ban burning…
New Bedford Officer Diddler Arrested With Hundreds Of Pics Of Kiddie Porn Has Been Bragging About Violating Civil Rights, Shitting On Hoodboogers On Facebook For Years
Masslive: A New Bedford police officer was arrested Wednesday and charged in federal court on child pornography charges after authorities…
Turtleboy Live: Twatzilla, Chicopee Chud Kills His Unborn Baby, Beverly Restaurant, Hooked On No Funics
This episode of Uncle Turtleboy’s late night garage podcast is brought to you by our newest advertiser Beard Justice…
Everett Mayor Sweatuccine Alfredo Smears Two Businesses On Facebook For Towing Cars During Graduation Because He Was Too Dumb To Figure Out A Parking Plan
This is Carlo DeMaria. After giving up the dream of becoming an extra who pisses off Tony Soprano and…
