Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Round 1: Trap Queen Region – Vote For Which Ratchets Should Advance To Next Round
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Tony Deyoung with the squeaker. Tough matchup for him next round though. Biggest upset was obviously Robert Alston destroying the entire ratchet town of Colrain. And the margin of victory for the West Warwick Ginger Family (a 13 seed) was probably the most surprising result. Hard to predict who’s gonna win this round. The choices keep getting harder and harder.
With that said, here’s the final region:
As usual, we will be reviewing the major accomplishments of each of these ratchets and linking a blog about them in their name. After each matchup will be a poll where you can vote for who you think deserves to advance due to their ratchetry……
Athol couple starts GoFundMe for two girls who died in Orange fire, then decides to pocket the money and turn it into a business. Later makes up lie about son getting jumped in school bathroom after he started a fight. Jason appears to have impregnated a mentally challenged woman since Misti can’t conceive, taken the baby from her, told her that she is the Godmother, and makes her call Misti and Jason “mom.”
WANDA – Worcester welfare leach/activist with broken caps lock who may or may not have Asian chicks locked up in her basement.
Rhode Island youth football coach takes pads from a child during a game in which his team was getting murdered, plays a couple sets of downs, gets busted, and does walk of shame.
Webster wangstas record themselves trying to fight cops. Later threaten to sue, after talking bad ass on social media. One of the crackheads – Mariah Moriarty – is later arrested for trying to cut her boyfriend’s dick off in a Sturbridge motel they were squatting in.
West Springfield CVS robbed of lube and vibrators by two dudes and a chick, presumably for a gang bang. Later revealed to be ratchets from Ware who write amazingly ratchet things on Facebook.
In Winchester NH a bunch of ratchets record one of their cousins/boyfriends/lovers resisting arrest for being an asshole. One of them is a firefighter and gets yelled at by the police for trying to interfere with the arrest.
Springfield stripper gets arrested 20 times over a three week period, including one charge of kicking a cop in the balls as she sat naked in her car, drinking whisky at 2 AM.
Chick gets 420 tattoo on head, starts GoFundMe to have it removed, writes things on Facebook that will give you nightmares.
For no reason some ratchet goes on the Brockton Hub and announces that she does not tip waitresses, but plans on eating out regularly anyway. Also makes what is easily the worst sounding music video of all time.
Southbridge chick tries lighting her workplace (Sturbridge Wal-Mart) on fire. Immediately messages Desk Girl the second she is released from jail.
Fall River ratchet has insane amount of GoFundMe sob stories that all seem to conflict with one another and are easily proved as lies. Loses children to DCF regularly.
Worcester City Councilor leaves ratchet voicemail on sister’s phone calling her “ti-ti ho.” Announces at City Council meeting that her vaginal area produced two children, and she would “like to see a penis do that.” Pretends to be a pastor for tax exempt status on “church’s” that she lets rot and doesn’t shovel sidewalks for.
New Bedford ratchets cheer on baby daddy/son as he is arrested for selling drugs, in most ghetto way possible while hanging from apartment window. Later revealed to be previously missing teen, and Mom gets arrested a couple days later.
Marlboro woman with 27 neglect charges uses kids to try to raise drug money with bogus GoFundMe.
Coventry dad of ratchet 16 year old skankbeast threatens to hunt down and murder another ratchet who hit his daughter after she punched him in the head repeatedly at the Cranston Carnival. Later revealed to be a contracting scam artist who rips off people with Alzheimer’s and sends them strange pictures of himself with a dildo on.
Hampshire College tomboy/SJW plots to disrupt political panel at UMass with stink bombs, creates huge disruption instead, threatens to sue anyone who posts video of her acting like a savage, writes 2,000 word email to UMass demanding they arrest Turtleboy, gets arrested for breaking and entering in Westfield, and pretends to be suicidal for pity likes.
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