Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy’s 2016 Naughty List #125-101

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Editor’s Note: Jorge Zambrano and David Njuguna both killed police officers this year. We kept them off this list because Turtleboy is all about the satire. What these two pieces of garbage did cannot be satirized. 

This year we have chronicled an epidemic of naughtiness on Turtleboy Sports. And since today is Christmas Eve it’s time to announce our naughty list for 2016, to see who’s earned a big lump of coal in their stocking from Santa Turtleboy. There’s sooooo many to choose from, so we had to shorten the list down to 125, which we will be breaking down into five parts in our countdown to see who was the naughtiest of them all this year. Since we don’t really have the time to explain what each and every one of these slug rakes did to earn their way onto our naughty list, we summed it up with a simple Haiku for each, as well as a link to the blogs about them so you can relive their naughtiness.  Here’s #125-101!!

125. Zarna Joshi

Awful SJW

Says Hugh Mungus Harassed Her

Loses God Damn Mind

Must Watch: No One Deserves To Be Thrown Off A Cliff More Than This SJW Who Harasses Police Supporter, Claims She Was Sexually Harassed, Loses Her Mind

Remember The Crazy SJW Chick Who Made “Hugh Mungus” Famous For “Sexually Harassing Her?” She’s Back And Accusing City Councilwoman Of Sending Rapists After Her


124. Robert Kowolski and the West Warwick ratchet patrol

Ginger arrested

Ghetto ass Dad and son wear

Chicago Bulls Hats

West Warwick Police Facebook APB For Ghettofabulous Ginger Brings Out Greatest Facebook Commentary Of All Time


123. Josh Sanderski

Failed election bid

For undercover porn star

Who plays the gay card

Leominster State Rep Candidate Josh Sanderski Says Clerk Kept Him Off Ballot Because He’s Gay Even Though He Didn’t Have Enough Signatures, He Was Arrested For Choking His Mom And He Has A Porno Alter Ego

State Rep Candidate Josh Sanderski Drops Out After Posting Nude Pics With Lover On Facebook, Never Reported Campaign Contributions To OCPF


122. Bernie Sanders

Rejects Wall Street Cash

Loses to Wall Street puppet

Still kisses her ass

Bernie Sanders Was The Lying Sellout We All Knew He Was From The Beginning


121. David Price and his stupid girlfriend

Thirty million bucks

Wasted on choke job pitcher

Girlfriend can’t shut up

David Price’s Girlfriend Challenged Turtleboy To “Meet Face To Face” Because Her Boyfriend Blew Another Playoff Game


120. Josh Odam – racist UMass student trustee

UMass idiot

Won’t sell shirts to white people

Says he’s not racist

UMass Student Trustee Selling “Fuck Trump” Shirts, But White People Aren’t Allowed To Buy Them, Made Up Racial Hoax In 2014 To Promote His Illegal Business


119. Dani Mathers

Playboy model skank

Shames fat chick in locker room

Santa brings her AIDS

Playboy Model Dani Mathers Posting Pics On Snapchat Of Naked Woman In Locker Room Is The Biggest Dick Move Of All Time


118. Paul Conzo Salon bullies

Bad review from skag

Business slandered by lynch mob

Some people just suck

Facebook Warriors Destroy Worcester Salon After Random Woman Bashes Them On Internet


117. Plainfield sex offender foster parents

Raising bunch of kids

Level 3 sex offender

DCF fucked up

Plainfield CT Sex Offender And Child Abusing Wife Looking For Someone On Facebook To Give Them A Baby


116. Royalston Selectboard

Pro-police ribbons

Selectboard says they are racist

Stupid ass white people

Gutless Royalston Selectboard Votes To Take Down Blue Police Ribbons Because It Will Trigger The Non-Existent Black People Who Live There


115. Julia Daley – baby formula scam artist

Skag with no children

Lying for free formula

Selling for profit

Local Woman’s Baby Formula Scam With Imaginary Feeding Tube Baby Is Brilliant And Also Terrible


114. Richard Simone – high speed chase asshole

High speed chase asshole

Gets his ass beat on TV

He deserved that shit

Quit Whining About This Career Criminal Getting Punched By State Troopers Because He Earned That Ass Whooping


113. Dr. Anjali Ramkissoon – hot psycho Uber doctor

This angry hot chick

Destroys Uber driver’s car

Loses everything

Junior Smokeshow Who Destroyed Uber Driver’s Car Is A Doctor And The Internet Has Savaged Her Life Online


112. Donald Trump

Somehow you can say

Grab her right in the pussy

And be President

Donald Trump Is The First Presidential Candidate To Make Me Watch A Sex Tape At 5 AM Because He Told Me To


111. Lorenda Grella – owner of Rolando’s Cafe in Fitchburg

Bootleg restaurant food

Served with side of Fitchburg sass

Owner gives no fucks

Legendary Fitchburg Restaurant Owner Swears At Dissatisfied Customers On Facebook, Calls Them Fat, Liars, And Cunts


110. Hillary Clinton

Was supposed to win

Forgot she’s unlikeable

SJW’s so sad

Media Loves Story About Woman Who Goes For Walk And Randomly Runs Into Hillary And Bill, Turns She Worked For Her Campaign And It Was All Staged

Hillary Clinton: Black Families Have To Protect Themselves From Murdering Racist Cops

Hillary Clinton Took A Steamy Dump On Police Because She Is No Different Than Trump


109. Josh Swift – Easthampton bestialisty boy

Feeds dog his penis

Says his ex-girlfriend made him

Wish the dog bit him



108. Old Balls

Writes crazy bullshit

Fired by the Turtlegram

Turtle on the brain

Breaking News: Turtleboy Got Old Balls Fired From The Telegram And Gazette


107. Barre Selectman

Fired police chief

Said he was being too nice

Fuck is wrong with them?

Barre Voters Just Tossed Out Dooshnozzle Selectman Who Wants To Fire Police Chief For Being Too Nice


106. Deb Goldberg

Pay her enough cash

She’ll let you stay in business

If not, then fuck you

Major Scandal: State Treasurer Deb Goldberg Is Destroying Nashoba Wineries Because They Didn’t Bribe Her Like Their Competitors Did


105. Leominster Panhandler Terrence McKenna-Rowell

Twin cities biggest chud

Banned from every street corner

Morons feed habit

Legendary Leominster Panhandler Might Be The Biggest Dooshnozzle In The History Of Panhandling


104. Mariah Moriarty

Cut boyfriend’s balls off

Probably won’t be last time

Some chicks are just nuts

Does This Look Like A Spencer Chick Who Was Arrested For Cutting Her Boyfriend’s Balls In A Sturbridge Motel Room They Were Squatting In?


103. Andrew Provost

White guy gets hate note

But that kind of makes no sense

Def wrote it himself

The White Guy From Natick Who “Found” The Racist Note (That He Probably Wrote” Is Starting A GoFundMe To “Make The Pain Go Away”


102. Amy Schumer

Promised she would leave

If Trump won the election

Fat ass is still here

Ultra-Edgy Amy Schumer Talks About Her Tampon At Emmy’s Red Carpet Because….Girl Power!!


101. Lowell High School panhandling chick

Too lazy to work

Panhandles for tuition

Ends up staying home

Jokes On Everyone: Lowell Panhandling Girl Made Over $25K And Is Going To UMass-Lowell And Living At Home

This Lowell High School Senior Panhandling For Medical School Is The Most Pathetic Thing We’ve Ever Seen






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6 Comment(s)
  • BlackandWhite
    December 24, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    I bet you 20 bucks “he who shall not be named” is trolling because of the poll. ROFL!!!

      December 24, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      I am always here to watch over you turtlebitches.

      I did miss Bret being arrested but I did tell you that he had an infatuation with 13 yr olds.

      I am blocked from turtleboy because they are scared of me putting them all out there. They are scared that I will take them down for good.

      Like the fake story about that guy and his dog. It was a fake story made up by Turtlebitches. And then to read all your comments about the peanut butter ect just shows how sick and twisted you all are in life. Bunch of freaks .

      But it’s the Holiday freaks so I wish you all a Merry Christmas you turtlebitches,lmao.

      Ps: you may need to go to the backup page to read turtlebitch for Christmas.

      • Turd Burglestein
        December 26, 2016 at 6:35 am

        Kevin knows that his dog likes nutela better than peanut butter.

  • Turd Burglestein
    December 24, 2016 at 10:55 am

    #102 could have just as well been that skanky child rapist lena dunham.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    December 24, 2016 at 9:53 am

    I voted for America’s worst roast beef sandwich; Ashley and her wizard sleeved vagina.

    Anyone remember Richard Bey from back in the 90s?? I watched it high as a teen lol…Thu-thu-thu-thunder thighs, Thunder thighs, thuuuuunder thighs!!

  • Turd Burglestein
    December 24, 2016 at 9:30 am


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