All-Star Criminals

Dog Filter Douchebag Loses Custody of His Kid Because He’s Obviously a Junkbox Supreme, Begs For Money Online, Gets Owned in His Own Comments Section

Uncle Turtleboy / September 27, 2018

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Pajama-Clad Shotput Shamu Beats The Bag Out Of Free Lunch Felicia In Kelley Square During Broad Daylight, But The Woo Sox Will Fix All Of This

Uncle Turtleboy / September 27, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

Hobo Houdini Asks To Use Phone At Boynton Restaurant, Steals Receptionist’s Purse On The Way Out

Uncle Turtleboy / September 25, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

Fuzzy Grape Felatio Bandit Says Turtleboy Visited Her At Strip Club, Is Still Doing Chew And Screws And Threatening People With Her Boyfriend Who Is Currently Incarcerated For Beating The Shit Out Of Her

Uncle Turtleboy / September 25, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

Feces-Covered Hoardapotumus Arrested For Animal Cruelty And Child Neglect, Has 50 Neglected Animals Removed From Deplorable Home “Rescue”

Uncle Turtleboy / September 25, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

The Fitchburg Parents Who Murdered Their Daughter For Not Drinking A Glass Of Water Were Indicted, The Father Somehow Being Charged With Lesser Offense As If He Wasn’t Complicit In Murder

Uncle Turtleboy / September 24, 2018

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Beef Blimp Neglectosaurus Abandons Children in Dark, Rotting Filth Hole To Find New Gunt Gravy Hose While They Starve In The Dark And Fight To The Death For Rice, Impersonates Son To Go Free Muh Boi On Herself, But She Plays A Really Good Mom On Fakebook

Uncle Turtleboy / September 21, 2018

Beef Blimp Neglectosaurus Abandons Children in Dark, Rotting Filth Hole To Find New Gunt Gravy Hose While They Starve In…

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All-Star Criminals

New Bedford Bootleg Jersey Shore Jackoff Gets Arrested With $70,000 Worth Of Coke Right After Posting Meme About Dangers Of Drug Abuse, Ratchets Go Full Free Muh Boi

Uncle Turtleboy / September 20, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

Two Inch Tickle Toy Who Tried Tying Down And Raping A Woman In His Palmer Trailer On The Mass Pike Goes By “Barry McCockiner” On Facebook And Was Once An Aspiring Rapper

Uncle Turtleboy / September 20, 2018

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Daddy Dumpsterfire Who Made Daughter Crawl Into Prize Machine And Steal Games Is A Teacher In Andover And If Shelley Berman Gets To Keep His Job Then So Should Daddy Dumpsterfire

Uncle Turtleboy / September 19, 2018

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Somerville SJW Who Defaced American Flag And WW2 Memorial Is Allegedly On Suicide Watch After Trying To Flee To Oregon

Uncle Turtleboy / September 19, 2018

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All-Star Criminals

Lawyer’s Son Finally Arrested In Enfield Killing, But The Lawyer And His Son’s Gangsta Meat Magnet Girlfriend Should Be Too Since They Let A 16 Year Old Die And Fled With The Killer To Hartford

Western Mass Turtlegirl / September 19, 2018

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Daddy Dumpsterfire Forces Little Girl To Crawl Into Prize Machine At Rockingham Park Mall, Steal Prizes, Make Other Kid Think He’s A Winner

Uncle Turtleboy / September 17, 2018

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Wareham Wondermom Day Drinks, Drives to Pick Up Her Rancid Crotchfruit At Wareham High School, Posts “I Am That Girl” On Facebook, Gets Arrested While Kids Fight Cops

Uncle Turtleboy / September 17, 2018

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Former Police Chief Who Was Sentenced To Life In Prison For Kiddie Diddlin’ Now Roaming Around Kingston American legion, When Outed As Sexual Predator Moron Family Members Whine About Their Feelz While Others Defend Him Because Veterans Can’t Be Bad People

Uncle Turtleboy / September 17, 2018

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Honey Roasted Hennessy Hoodbooger Breaks Into WXLO Radio Studios Via Ceiling Panels, Runs When Alarm Goes Off, Forgets Wallet In Ceiling

Uncle Turtleboy / September 14, 2018

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Terrible Cranston Rapper Jackoff Sauce Was Arrested On Child Pornography Charges For SnapFace Story Involving Gland To Gland Combat With Child Slave Girlfriend, Faces Up To 15 Years In Prison And Registering As A Sex Offender

Uncle Turtleboy / September 14, 2018

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Dad Starts $750K GoFundMe For Son Who Stabbed A 16 Year Old Outside Of Enfield Town Attorney’s House Because Son Was Bullied By Racism, Attorney’s Son Is Hoodtastic Rapper Who Fled With The Killer And Hasn’t Been Charged

Western Mass Turtlegirl / September 13, 2018

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New Bedford Hoodboogers Getting Busted Trying To Sneak Henny, Newports, And Viagara Into Shirley Prison Is Extremely Confusing

Uncle Turtleboy / September 7, 2018

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Dog Filter Douchebag Loses Custody of His Kid Because He’s Obviously a Junkbox Supreme, Begs For Money Online, Gets Owned in His Own Comments Section

Pajama-Clad Shotput Shamu Beats The Bag Out Of Free Lunch Felicia In Kelley Square During Broad Daylight, But The Woo Sox Will Fix All Of This

Hobo Houdini Asks To Use Phone At Boynton Restaurant, Steals Receptionist’s Purse On The Way Out

Fuzzy Grape Felatio Bandit Says Turtleboy Visited Her At Strip Club, Is Still Doing Chew And Screws And Threatening People With Her Boyfriend Who Is Currently Incarcerated For Beating The Shit Out Of Her

Feces-Covered Hoardapotumus Arrested For Animal Cruelty And Child Neglect, Has 50 Neglected Animals Removed From Deplorable Home “Rescue”

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

The Fitchburg Parents Who Murdered Their Daughter For Not Drinking A Glass Of Water Were Indicted, The Father Somehow Being Charged With Lesser Offense As If He Wasn’t Complicit In Murder

Beef Blimp Neglectosaurus Abandons Children in Dark, Rotting Filth Hole To Find New Gunt Gravy Hose While They Starve In The Dark And Fight To The Death For Rice, Impersonates Son To Go Free Muh Boi On Herself, But She Plays A Really Good Mom On Fakebook

New Bedford Bootleg Jersey Shore Jackoff Gets Arrested With $70,000 Worth Of Coke Right After Posting Meme About Dangers Of Drug Abuse, Ratchets Go Full Free Muh Boi

Two Inch Tickle Toy Who Tried Tying Down And Raping A Woman In His Palmer Trailer On The Mass Pike Goes By “Barry McCockiner” On Facebook And Was Once An Aspiring Rapper

Daddy Dumpsterfire Who Made Daughter Crawl Into Prize Machine And Steal Games Is A Teacher In Andover And If Shelley Berman Gets To Keep His Job Then So Should Daddy Dumpsterfire

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Somerville SJW Who Defaced American Flag And WW2 Memorial Is Allegedly On Suicide Watch After Trying To Flee To Oregon

Lawyer’s Son Finally Arrested In Enfield Killing, But The Lawyer And His Son’s Gangsta Meat Magnet Girlfriend Should Be Too Since They Let A 16 Year Old Die And Fled With The Killer To Hartford

Daddy Dumpsterfire Forces Little Girl To Crawl Into Prize Machine At Rockingham Park Mall, Steal Prizes, Make Other Kid Think He’s A Winner

Wareham Wondermom Day Drinks, Drives to Pick Up Her Rancid Crotchfruit At Wareham High School, Posts “I Am That Girl” On Facebook, Gets Arrested While Kids Fight Cops

Former Police Chief Who Was Sentenced To Life In Prison For Kiddie Diddlin’ Now Roaming Around Kingston American legion, When Outed As Sexual Predator Moron Family Members Whine About Their Feelz While Others Defend Him Because Veterans Can’t Be Bad People

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Honey Roasted Hennessy Hoodbooger Breaks Into WXLO Radio Studios Via Ceiling Panels, Runs When Alarm Goes Off, Forgets Wallet In Ceiling

Terrible Cranston Rapper Jackoff Sauce Was Arrested On Child Pornography Charges For SnapFace Story Involving Gland To Gland Combat With Child Slave Girlfriend, Faces Up To 15 Years In Prison And Registering As A Sex Offender

Dad Starts $750K GoFundMe For Son Who Stabbed A 16 Year Old Outside Of Enfield Town Attorney’s House Because Son Was Bullied By Racism, Attorney’s Son Is Hoodtastic Rapper Who Fled With The Killer And Hasn’t Been Charged

New Bedford Hoodboogers Getting Busted Trying To Sneak Henny, Newports, And Viagara Into Shirley Prison Is Extremely Confusing

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All-Star Criminals

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