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Boy Who Competed In Boy’s Winter Track Becomes A Girl, Wins 2 Connecticut State Track Championships, Smashes State Records, Alters Team State Champion, Because….Progress

Uncle Turtleboy / June 11, 2018

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This Is The Man Strokey Sullivan’s Car Is Registered To That He Was Punching The Clown In While Watching Children Leave School

Uncle Turtleboy / June 8, 2018

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Strokey Sullivan Gets Caught Mid Pump By Angry Providence Dad Choking The Cyclops To Girls Leaving School While Inside His Car With No Pants On

Uncle Turtleboy / June 8, 2018

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Chud Who Killed 80 Year Old Man In Boston Hit And Run Gave Insane Interview Saying He’s A Real Gangsta And People Hit And Run “All The Time,” Posts About Hating Cops While Living Life Of Luxury In Public Housing, Also Facing Federal Charges For Beating Up Mailman

Uncle Turtleboy / June 7, 2018

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Mattapoisett Queefstache Driving Unregistered Car With Drugs And Prescription Pills Wisely Elected To Get RX Tattooed On His Face

Uncle Turtleboy / June 6, 2018

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Fall River Father And Son Sweathogs Steal From And Return Stolen Goods From Every Home Depot In South Shore, Wisely Sell Gift Cards On Facebook

Uncle Turtleboy / June 4, 2018

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Someone In The Quincy Area Must Know Who These 4 Assholes Are Who Beat A Guy So Badly He Needs Surgery Because He Asked Them To Stop Harassing His Girlfriend

Uncle Turtleboy / June 2, 2018

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Ashburnham Principal Wants Her Job Back Because She Dindu Nuffin Even Though She Knew Her Rapey Husband Was Banging Her Niece And They Were Recording Her Changing In The House

Western Mass Turtlegirl / June 1, 2018

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Braintree Gingerlush Mom Who Told Cops She Was “Inconvenienced” By 3rd DUI Subscribes To All The Facebook Groups You Knew She Would

Uncle Turtleboy / May 30, 2018

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Dimwitted Dracut Lightbulb Fair Ganks Bulb Off Front Porch To Set Up For Later Robbery, Gets Turned In By Humiliated Husband And Son

Uncle Turtleboy / May 28, 2018

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The Worcester Renaissance Is Off To A Rough Start

Uncle Turtleboy / May 21, 2018

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Bridgewater Meat Donkey Lawyer Smuggles Drugs To Gangsta Clients In Plymouth Jail, Lost Custody Of Kid, Posts On Facebook About Shitty Parents, Death To Drug Dealers, And Clients She Stole Money From

Uncle Turtleboy / May 21, 2018

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The MBTA Bologna Baton Bandit Strikes Again: Gives Girls Front Row Tickets To Porridge Gun Show On Green Line, Let’s Identify Him

Uncle Turtleboy / May 18, 2018

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Norwood Spunktrumpet Is Out Of Jail, Pretending To Be Loving Mom Of Detox Baby, Claiming To Be Sober With Facebook Filter While Also Posting About Latest Relapse

Uncle Turtleboy / May 17, 2018

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World’s Unluckiest Bear Is Rescued In Manchester, Miraculously Escapes Without Getting Pregnant Or Checking Into Rehab

Uncle Turtleboy / May 16, 2018

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Florida Methwaffle Tells Cop To Google Methwaffle To Confirm His Identity, Also Has New Baby With Another Baby On The Way And No Job

Uncle Turtleboy / May 15, 2018

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Southern New Hampshire University Kicked Boston Cop Out Of Graduation For Wearing Uniform

Uncle Turtleboy / May 12, 2018

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Cape Cod Gangsta Rapper Holla Akbar Got Arrested AGAIN For Selling Crack Cocaine While In Court Facing Previous Charges Of Selling Cocaine Just Days After New Album Dropped

Uncle Turtleboy / May 12, 2018

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Local Jizz Whistle Barges Into Auburn Mall Aeropostale At Closing Time, Lifts Up Gate, Harasses Manager, Demands To Know Her Name, Shames Her On Facebook, Morons Give Her Dumb Advice

Uncle Turtleboy / May 10, 2018

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Junkbox Kills Drug Dealing BF In Sleep At Mom’s House, New BF Dumps Body, Found 6 Months Later, Flees To Burlington Despite Living On Canadian Border, Facebook Page Turns Into Ratchet Shitshow

Uncle Turtleboy / May 9, 2018

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This Is The Man Strokey Sullivan’s Car Is Registered To That He Was Punching The Clown In While Watching Children Leave School

Strokey Sullivan Gets Caught Mid Pump By Angry Providence Dad Choking The Cyclops To Girls Leaving School While Inside His Car With No Pants On

Chud Who Killed 80 Year Old Man In Boston Hit And Run Gave Insane Interview Saying He’s A Real Gangsta And People Hit And Run “All The Time,” Posts About Hating Cops While Living Life Of Luxury In Public Housing, Also Facing Federal Charges For Beating Up Mailman

Mattapoisett Queefstache Driving Unregistered Car With Drugs And Prescription Pills Wisely Elected To Get RX Tattooed On His Face

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Fall River Father And Son Sweathogs Steal From And Return Stolen Goods From Every Home Depot In South Shore, Wisely Sell Gift Cards On Facebook

Someone In The Quincy Area Must Know Who These 4 Assholes Are Who Beat A Guy So Badly He Needs Surgery Because He Asked Them To Stop Harassing His Girlfriend

Ashburnham Principal Wants Her Job Back Because She Dindu Nuffin Even Though She Knew Her Rapey Husband Was Banging Her Niece And They Were Recording Her Changing In The House

Braintree Gingerlush Mom Who Told Cops She Was “Inconvenienced” By 3rd DUI Subscribes To All The Facebook Groups You Knew She Would

Dimwitted Dracut Lightbulb Fair Ganks Bulb Off Front Porch To Set Up For Later Robbery, Gets Turned In By Humiliated Husband And Son

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

The Worcester Renaissance Is Off To A Rough Start

Bridgewater Meat Donkey Lawyer Smuggles Drugs To Gangsta Clients In Plymouth Jail, Lost Custody Of Kid, Posts On Facebook About Shitty Parents, Death To Drug Dealers, And Clients She Stole Money From

The MBTA Bologna Baton Bandit Strikes Again: Gives Girls Front Row Tickets To Porridge Gun Show On Green Line, Let’s Identify Him

Norwood Spunktrumpet Is Out Of Jail, Pretending To Be Loving Mom Of Detox Baby, Claiming To Be Sober With Facebook Filter While Also Posting About Latest Relapse

World’s Unluckiest Bear Is Rescued In Manchester, Miraculously Escapes Without Getting Pregnant Or Checking Into Rehab

Subscribe to Turtleboy Sports

Florida Methwaffle Tells Cop To Google Methwaffle To Confirm His Identity, Also Has New Baby With Another Baby On The Way And No Job

Southern New Hampshire University Kicked Boston Cop Out Of Graduation For Wearing Uniform

Cape Cod Gangsta Rapper Holla Akbar Got Arrested AGAIN For Selling Crack Cocaine While In Court Facing Previous Charges Of Selling Cocaine Just Days After New Album Dropped

Local Jizz Whistle Barges Into Auburn Mall Aeropostale At Closing Time, Lifts Up Gate, Harasses Manager, Demands To Know Her Name, Shames Her On Facebook, Morons Give Her Dumb Advice

Junkbox Kills Drug Dealing BF In Sleep At Mom’s House, New BF Dumps Body, Found 6 Months Later, Flees To Burlington Despite Living On Canadian Border, Facebook Page Turns Into Ratchet Shitshow

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