Juicy Jasiel “Get Money, Fuck Bitches” Shirts Now Available In The Turtleboy Store
Breaking News – Juisy Jasiel Correia “Get Money, Fuck Bitches” shirts are now available in the Turtleboy store by clicking…
Dear Slobberino Who Sent Me A Descriptive Death Threat With An Armored Piercing Bullet And Ratchet Fingernails – I’m Not Scared Of You
As you know, I get death threats a lot. People don’t like the things that we say, so instead…
Back To School Special! 6 Pieces Of My Completely Unqualified F.U.P.A – Free, Unsolicited Parenting Advice
With a few days before labor day and September rolling in, for those of us with crotch fruit age 6…
Injury Update: I didn’t Choose The Blog Life, The Blog Life Chose Me
Quick update on the injury that got the Live show cancelled this weekend. So I got shoulder tendinitis and…
I Delivered A Speech In Billerica With My Homie Brandon Straka
If you guys missed the Live broadcast of my speech at the GOUSA event, we got you covered right…
Holbrook Police Save A Young Missing Crotch Fruit Using The Power Of Facebook
Last week I did a blog about the epidemic of “missing” teens being reported on police department Facebook pages….
‘Civilian’s Pride’ Continues The Fight For Equality With New Parade Initiative Inspired By The Work Of SHFA
Why should only service members and military veterans get parades, cookouts and discounts at The Home Depot? That’s what one…
Dear Adam Walker: Your Death Threats Don’t Scare Me But They Do Violate Your Probation, And Running To The Marlborough Police To Cry About The Blog Won’t Save You
After publishing this blog at 5:30 today I anticipated blowback from the person featured in it. After all, Adam Walker spent…
Jen Royle Meltdown On Twitter And Emails Mentioning Lawyers Prompts Rare Public Apology From Turtleboy
Jen Royle has been emailing and DMing us on Twitter after SSTG wrote a blog about her public spectacle on Twitter,…
A Portrait of Conflict: Kathryn “Failure Swift” Narcisi And Her Husband Continue To Cry Out For Public Attention, Show More And More Cracks In Their Marriage
Kathryn “KC Hill” Narcisi’s saga has played out on the pages of this site like the most sordid of daytime…
Want To Shut Down Turtleboy Sports Forever? Here’s How To Do It.
So you want to take down Turtleboy Sports once and for all, do you? Want to smite us out in…
Missing Dogs Of Massachusetts Helps Find Holden Dog Alive After 10 Days, Which Is Why You Should Never Pay To Have Someone Find Your Dog
Last week we shared a post about a missing dog named Callie. The owner contacted Missing Dogs of Massachusetts,…
Dog Murdering, Woman Beating, Deadbeat Dad Rian Waters’s Bullshit Lawsuit Against Turtleboy Was Dismissed And The Judge Destroyed Him In Her Ruling
Judge Mulqueen issued her ruling today dismissing Rian Waters stupid, time wasting lawsuit against us in a scathing,…
The Rhode Island ACLU Has Taken My Case Against Failure Swift And Issued A Press Release, Now You’s Can’t Leave
I mentioned this on the podcast, but I haven’t written about it yet because I didn’t want to do…
Dear Bridget Phetasy: This Numbnuts Keeps Telling People That You Are Me, And I’m Very Sorry.
Dear Bridget Phetasy: I hope this blog finds you well. Actually, I really hope that it finds you at…
Looking For A Monumental Waste Of Your Time? The “Straight Pride” Parade In Boston Is Happening This Summer
Well, would you look at this: I know I’m going to catch a lot of slack for this, but…
God Loves Us More Bruins Stanley Cup Finals T-Shirts Are Now Available In The Turtleboy Store
With the St. Louis Blues finishing off the Sharks last night the Stanley Cup Finals are now set to…
This Is Why I Have No Problem Selling Out Manch And Anonymous Shitposters
I normally don’t read the comments because I believe that turtle riders should have their say there and we…
Turtleboy Has A Table At Anthony’s Of Malden For The 9th Annual Wounded Vet Run Tomorrow, Swing By To Pick Up Turtle Gear And Bring Your Copies Of I Am Turlteboy
Sup turtle riders? Tomorrow I’m going to be in Malden for the 9th Annual Wounded Vet run. The ride…
Who Should Be This Year’s Ratchet Madness Champion – Franklin Baxley Or Rian Waters?
I apologize for the delay in Ratchet Madness, but voting is finally completed in the Final 4, and we…
